Last time we discussed why your foundation may be weak. Business could be good, you may think you have everything under control, but something is not right.
You may have switched into “provider” mode and are focusing on success.
You have stopped the “courting” phase, and your lady is drifting and you donʼt know why, or maybe you donʼt even see it.
You think you are doing everything right, but something feels wrong.
This goes for whether you are seeing different ladies, or you have found one that you really like and have been together awhile. No matter where you are, the more solid your foundation is, the more solid your game will be.
Kai Zen – constantly improving yourself, can strengthen that foundation and you will be far more aware and in control of your dating and/or relationship status.
If you know something is going wrong, you can ﬁx it!
Maybe you have been in that situation before, or headed there soon. You may already be there and truly not know it, like I was. No matter where you are, it may not be too late to turn it around. You can not only save a dying relationship, but you can strengthen it, and your business success, at the same time.
This is a true win-win scenario.
When you cement your foundation internally, your entire structure solidiﬁes. So start focusing on the root of all your issues – YOU.
“Seek and ye shall ﬁnd.” We have all heard this before.
Because it is true. It is only a matter of time.
Now is when you must start to strengthen your inner foundation. Regardless of how strong you believe it already may be. Leaders in any industry always stay on top of the game, working to better their businesses and themselves.
If you have been looking, keep it up. If you have not begun, there is no better time than right now!
Fortunately, foundations can be remade stronger than before. In the real estate biz, I used to hire companies to rebuild fractured, unstable, cement foundations on houses.
Some good, some bad, some really bad and cost me way more than I paid them. But when I found the good ones, I stuck with them. The point is, if you follow the right advice, you can strengthen your foundation better than the original. KEEP LOOKING!
Seek wisely and you will ﬁnd the right path. The beauty of this search is the change you will not see. It will simply happen. The ladies in your life will see the change in you. By constantly improving who you are on the inside, you automatically become more attractive!
There is no down side to this quest. NONE! You will learn more about yourself, you will understand women more, your business will grow. In some cases, you may realize that you are on the wrong path entirely and you may need to switch your business (or lady) altogether.
Iʼm not advocating divorce, of course, but if you are in an unhappy relationship due to a weak foundation, you may have to adjust all aspects of your life. If you are at a dead end, itʼs time for a U-turn
When you seek, do not search for an answer. You will get many.
Seek knowledge. That knowledge will guide you to where you need to be.
Whether you know it or not, you are becoming more than you realize. One day it will happen. You will simply arrive and realize that you are strong.
And believe me, when a woman senses Kai Zen in a MAN, she knows it!
She will ﬁnd you, my friend, and she will help you be the most you can possibly be.
A woman who truly believes in and respects you is the bedrock to your foundation. So, by being the best man you can be, constantly and consistently, you will naturally attract the woman you need and deserve.
So take a minute. Self evaluate. Are you truly happy? Is your spouse, girlfriend, and/or family truly happy?
Ask them. Ask how they and others see you as a person. Take nothing for granted.
As a MAN and a leader it is your job to check on these things. If you are afraid of what others think; you have a lot of work to do. You should welcome input, examine it, and execute accordingly what will be of the highest and best use in your life and business.
As you grow, so will everything around you.
Go On, Be Strong
Spike Spencer, the Dating Sage
The most important part of your success with women has nothing to do with women, oddly enough. Men come to me for techniques and tactics for attracting women, but what most often happens is that they realize they need to take control of their inner game and confidence first. When they do that, their whole lives open up in ways they only dreamed of.
In order to succeed with women, you have to understand the power of what I call the Sin Drivers. This is part of the core of Inner Game - the mental confidence of dealing with women.
If you know the 7 “deadly” sins, you’re probably already familiar with these, but allow me to add some new depth to how you understand them.
Manipulation can get you anywhere if done right. But no one likes the thought of manipulation. Instead we must focus on influence. Influencing others, as well as ourselves, to attain win-win outcomes.
But what are the key factors or emotions that most people are influenced by? Of all the different kinds of influence in what we want the other person to do, you can see how communication is a very hazy and nebulous area. It requires – no, it demands that you study it in detail.
If you know how to leverage the Sin Drivers, you can influence yourself and others for very positive outcomes.
First of all, the biggest manipulator of all is FEAR, whether it’s a fear of loss, a fear of reprisal, a fear of consequences, or whatever the case may be, fear is the big motivator. We all feel fear very distinctly, and it’s one of the most powerful emotions next to shame.
Fear is a very common inhibitor, because we all fall victim to it very easily. Some of us are even afraid of feeling the fear, which can lead to more trouble. You resist and avoid situations where you might succeed because they also represent a threat of feeling that fear.
Think about the fear you feel when you approach a woman. Or the fear you feel when you feel her slipping away from you in a conversation. Each of those fears controls us in subtle ways. And, as the saying goes, Fear is simply False Evidence Appearing Real.
Understanding and controlling your fear is the first step on the path to success with women.
Here’s something you can use. It’s the Fear Litany. The Litany Against Fear was an incantation used in the book Dune by Frank Herbert. The incantation helped focus minds in times of peril.
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing……Only I will remain.”
Powerful stuff. I recommend you put that on a card and carry it in your wallet. Use it the next time your fear tries to shut you down.
GREED is the manipulation of our desire to possess, typically done with money. We all have a natural inclination to acquire things, to get possessions, and that’s all natural. It’s part of our human nature to want more of everything.
But, as Gordon Gecko said in the movie “Wall Street,” Greed can be good. Greed for the good things in life, like love, achievement, and knowledge can be a force for good and uplift all people. Greed gets us off our butts (and our “buts”) and motivates us.
We just have to keep our greed in check and make sure it does not run our lives.
Then there’s my favorite - LUST. That’s right, our natural desire for the opposite sex. Hey, we all experience this one from time to time, and it’s one that we all fall victim to much of the time, and the media again knows it.
Advertising and Marketing agencies uses lust a lot to manipulate buyers. You see them on billboards, magazine ads and TV commercials. Lust is men’s favorite manipulator.
The one thing you need to watch out for is when greed and lust combine forces. This can be a deadly combination.
Channel your lust into forward movement. It’s a powerful force that no man can completely resist – not even monks.
Think of all the great accomplishments men have made throughout history. Some say they were all just redirecting the sexual energy into conquering, or building … or even destroying. Don’t underestimate the power of the human sexual force.
VANITY. Everybody likes to look good and appear attractive. If men buy for lust, women buy for vanity. Vanity and an appeal to looking better for other people is frequently used, again, as another type of social game.
Women want to be noticed and appreciated. Perhaps the worst thing a woman can feel is ignored and unremarkable to others – especially men.
When you give her that attention, you feed her vanity. And like any of these Sin Drivers, it can be a force for good – if you channel it for her.
Don’t overdo it. Find different things about her to recognize and bring to her attention. Do it with compassion, and you’ll get much further than with guile or with pure lust. Flattery is transparent, but sincerity is a game-changer when you use it effectively with women.
PRIDE or that willingness to be admired. We like to protect our ego and we sure do like it when other people admire us. Men thrive on that admiration.
This is another key driver for you that you need to notice in your conversations with women. Your pride in accomplishment will lead you to brag to her about your achievements, usually in the hopes that she will be impressed and this will create attraction.
Usually, it won’t. Attraction is a function of your status and personal power as a man, but not when you communicate it directly. It would be far better for a friend of yours to recognize you when you’re talking to her and point out something positive about you in front of her than it ever would be for you to tell her yourself.
Simply showing that you have an influence on your tribe (your group of friends) is incredibly powerful in creating real primal attraction.
So beware the temptation to self-promote. Instead, let her discover your best traits by accident. Indirectly.
Women distrust your words, and rightfully so. As the saying goes in fiction: Show, don’t tell.
ENVY, this one is the other side of pride. This is where we see another person’s accomplishments and we want to be just like them. We’re envious of their accomplishments, the things they’ve got, the people they are around, and we want to be just like them, or at least experience the same things that they’ve experience or have the same things that they have.
Envy is very often one of the least effective of the Sin Drivers and one of the more motivating. Because the reality is that you can accomplish things that other people have accomplished, and you can have the things that they have. You can accomplish almost anything, once you put your mind to it.
So don’t be manipulated purely from the envy part of it just wanting what they’ve got. Remember that it has to be backed up with real desire and a willingness to take action on it.
Envy of other guys is often our downfall, and we have to remember that the things they have that we want also come with a bunch of things they have that we do NOT want.
GUILT. People love to use this one to manipulate us and play games with us, making us feel guilty about just about anything. And it’s what your parents love to use on you. You’ll see this even with the smallest social games, like when you’re interacting.
Most of the time people project their own flaws onto you to keep you on the defense. That’s probably the most common form of social game. Stamp “Return to Sender” on that gift, and hand them back their big fat package of guilt.
It’s not that you shouldn’t feel some accountability to other people. We evolved as groups that had to be accountable to each other, after all.
But when your behavior is guided out of fear of what others might say or think, then you will find yourself constrained to a very limited definition of life.
Don’t be the geezer in the old folk’s home in the future, whining about all the stuff he wished he’d done in life. You have the opportunity now to break the hold of this insidious force and live your life the way you desire.
Guilt is one of the most useless and needlessly restrictive forces in the universe. And, like all of these Sin Drivers and emotions, only exists in your head – not in the real world.
Consider that the next time you run into your own reluctance or feelings of “I shouldn’t…”
It’s far better to regret the things you DID do than the things you didn’t do.
Then the last Sin Driver: LAZINESS.
Geez, aren’t we all lazy to some degree? That’s why technology has developed a lot of gadgets that makes out life easy. We all want the easy, quick fix, don’t we?
It’s that easy. It’s that quick, and that is what we all fall victim to. We all want the quick and easy. We don’t want to take risks. We don’t want to have to spend. We don’t want to have to put in the effort into it. We want it to just fall on our laps.
I remember searching the house for the remote control for 45 minutes when I could have just walked over and pressed the volume button on my flat screen TV. It’s often been said that we will go through any amount of effort to be lazy and do nothing.
Laziness is natural, but don’t let it rule your life.
Now, remember, people will play games to appeal to your sense of laziness. If there’s anything you genuinely want, be willing to back it up with enough effort to actually make it happen, not just stay a dream.
Don’t be the man in front of the fireplace who says: “First you give me heat, THEN I’ll give you wood.” Life doesn’t work that way except for the quitters and criminals out there. Pay the price for what you want in this world, and it will be yours.
Surprisingly, it doesn’t take much effort at all to triple or even quadruple your success with women. You only need to know the secrets I show men for short cutting past all the nonsense and getting right to the victory in life. Constructive laziness is when you stop doing all the hard work that is taking you in the wrong direction.
The worst kind of laziness is continuing to fail just because you’re afraid of getting the help you need to do it right.
These emotional factors – the Sin Drivers I’ve just explained – will be a big factor in most of the social games you get into, with women and men. And they will also create some of your knee-jerk responses. Recognize them upfront and learn to manage and control them – so that they don’t control you.
If you’d like more secret tips and tactics to get the women you desire - CLICK HERE…
How I Lost My Mojo (and Got it Back): The Importance of Testosterone, Sex Drive, and How to Preserve Both
There’s a problem that men facing across the world—a problem that few people are talking about, but a great many are experiencing. This problem needs a solution, but more than anything, it requires awareness. The problem, very simply, is that men are dying; at least, metaphorically. Their manhood is dying.
Men are less manly. That’s not an opinion; it’s a fact. If you want to be a little more scientific and a little less dramatic about it, testosterone levels are dropping—rapidly. And not just in older men; whereas decades ago, this was thought only to affect men in their late 30’s and beyond, it’s now beginning to affect men as young as 22.
It’s so bad that researchers from Massachusetts found that the average man’s testosterone (not just older men) has dropped 22% in the last 20 years, and that one out of every four men has below average testosterone.
If those facts don’t scare you, if the fact that it’s very possible that you’re suffering from low T doesn’t scare you, then you may not know all of the devastating effects this condition can have.
To help explain why this issue is so important, and help illustrate just how impactful it can be, I’d like to tell you a story—and a very personal story at that. It’s the story of how I lost an important part of myself, and eventually got it back. It’s a story about how I had work around a common medical condition, and take matters into my own hands to solve it.
It’s story about how I lost one of the defining characteristics of my masculinity, and about my journey to reclaim it. And this is the first time I’m sharing it publicly.
Despite all the content I’ve written and all of the articles I’ve published, one of the things I’ve never really discussed is how, at 25 years old, in the prime of my youth, I personally struggled with low testosterone—and the way it manifested itself was with low sex drive.
Today, I’d like to share the story of how I fixed it; and how in my journey to do so, discovered how epidemic this problem truly was—how my passion for this issue led me to write a book about it.
During the course of this story, you’ll learn how this devastating issue might be affecting you; how it’s potentially responsible for lack of energy, or depression, or the nagging feeling that you’re aging faster a bit too quickly. And, of course, you’ll learn what you can do about it.
Let’s Begin at the Beginning
I was 25 years old and had spent the majority of my adolescent and young adult life as a very sexual being. Like most young guys, to an extent, I defined myself by my aspects of sexuality—my virility, desirability, and performance all factored into my assessment of who I was as a man.
Before you judge me too harshly, I blame evolution for this. Feeling actualized as a sexual being is a factor in self-esteem; this is just one of the idiosyncrasies of being human. While it certainly applies to women, for men, the relationship between self-esteem and sexuality is especially strong.
It’s been shown that this is just one of the (many) complications that comes of being born with a penis. Put another way, from the perspective of evolutionary psychology, your manhood and your, um, manhood are indelibly tied together.
Evolution and psychology notwithstanding, speaking purely personally, my sexual identity was part of my overall identity. And then one day it was gone. It may have been a gradual decline that I didn’t notice, but it felt like stepping off a cliff. I simply woke up one morning and didn’t want to have sex.
And, I don’t just mean with my girlfriend (which I could have written off as relationship boredom), but with anyone.
Sex was no longer interesting to me. Not just uninteresting, but also unappealing to the point of revulsion. The thought of a woman touching me made my skin crawl. If you’ve experienced low sex drive, you can relate; all of the people I’ve spoken to in my interviews for the book reported a similar feeling.
(If you’ve never experienced it, the best way I can describe to you is the feeling of being really full to the point of nauseous, and then someone you care about trying to feed a home cooked meal…and then getting really upset when you didn’t want to eat it.)
These subjects also discussed the feelings of shame and guilt associated with low sex drive—shame for not wanting sex, guilt for the way it made their partners feel.
At first, I was bothered by the void—the hole left by not wanting sex, and all the extra time on my hands from not having it. For a time, I wanted to want sex. Eventually, it stopped bothering me.
Then, in moments of reflection, in the early hours of the night when I was pretending to be asleep in an effort to avoid another conversation about it, I was bothered about not being bothered about it.
And then that stopped too. From that point on, I watched with a strange sort of detached bemusement as the ramifications of my condition tainted piece after piece of my life.
Needless to say, my relationship was one of the casualties. After nearly eight months of incredibly infrequent and probably lackluster sex, my lady and I called it quits. A dearth of sex is dangerous in any relationship, is it leads to lack of intimacy and a widening fissure between partners. Some relationships can survive that; mine couldn’t.
She’d had enough of feeling unwanted and unattractive, and I’d had enough of feeling guilty about making her feel that way.
This happens more than you can imagine, and as covered in a 2009 piece in a New York Times blog, psychologists see over and over that when stops in a relationship, the couple begins to struggle with lessening intimacy—and the longer that relationship goes without sex, the harder it is to reclaim intimacy.
For many couples, that starts with testosterone. For this reason and a host others, low T can cause depression, lack of ambition, and even thoughts of suicide. It didn’t go quite that far for me, thankfully, but it certainly wasn’t fun.
Here’s the truly scary part: I didn’t actually know I had low testosterone. I had no idea what was causing the issue; all I knew is that I wasn’t who I had been. I had lost not just one part of myself, but several—because the fact is, sex drive is strongly tied to all drive.
When it drops, so too does your ambition, and your motivation to achieve that ambition. For me, it felt like I’d become a different person, a lesser man. Without exaggeration, ever part of my life was negatively affected: my relationships, my sleep patterns, and my physique—even my productivity and business were all hampered.
Eventually, I spoke to a friend of mine who suggested I get my testosterone levels checked. They were low, in a relative since—certainly lower than they should have been at my age. I measured less than 400ng/dl. This is right about the point where research suggests many men begin to experience to symptoms of low T.
Unfortunately, that still fell within the range of “normal”, because that range of is so vast. Depending on which lab you get tested at, “average” can be from as low as 260ng/dl (nanograms per decaliter) to as high as 1080ng/dl).
Meaning, that if you’re at around 800ng/dl and your testosterone falls by 50%, you’re still within the “reference range”, and therefore, not be considered low. (As a related aside, this is something I humbly suggest needs to addressed by the medical community.)
The problem for me personally became that I was in a strange grey area—I was low enough to be experiencing a ton of symptoms, but too high to qualify for treatment of any kind. My doctor advised me that while my levels were low for my age, they were still technically normal, and I just had to deal with it.
Very rarely has stupider medical advice been given. I had to take matters into my own hands, and had two choices: I could either simply procure illegal testosterone and start injecting it, or figure out a way to increase T levels naturally.
Although I’d be lying if I said I didn’t briefly consider the former, in the end I’m happy to report I went the latter.
Over the course of the next several months, I dove into all the literature I could find and started making a lifestyle overhaul. My sex drive returned—rather rapidly. In 6 weeks I felt different. After 12, I got tested again, and my testosterone levels had literally doubled—doubled! I was productive again.
I started dating. I reclaimed my physique and liked the way I looked again. I felt ALIVE again.
As you might imagine, I was struck by how well it worked, and how simple it had been, once I knew what to do. And I decided that eventually, I would write a book about it—because I felt that men truly needed it.
In the process of my research, for both my personal use and the book, I came to realize just how much men need it, how epidemic this problem really is.
The goal of Man 2.0 has been, from the outset, to not only provide a solution to a huge problem, but also to create awareness of it. This article will certainly create some awareness, but I’d like to use this platform to provide a solution.
While I can’t be as starkly informative as I am in the book, below you’ll find three high-yield tips to naturally increase your testosterone and improve your sex drive.
How to Increase Testosterone Naturally
Reduce Carbohydrate in Take
More and more, it’s becoming obvious that high carbohydrate diets are a pretty bad idea for the majority of people. In this specific case, as usual, the reason is insulin; although insulin is produced when you eat any food, the insulin response to carbohydrates is significantly greater than the response to fat or protein.
Insulin affects your testosterone and sex drive in a number of ways.
Firstly, production of insulin halts secretion of growth hormone, which potentiates testosterone production. Secondly, chronically elevated insulin levels have been show to increase the likelihood of erectile dysfunction.
Limiting carbohydrate in helps to reduce the production of insulin, and help avoid the sexual issue that can arise.
Reduce Your Body Fat
As if your really needed another reason to bring your body fat down—because, you know, diabetes and heart disease just aren’t scary enough—men with lower levels of body fat are consistently tested with higher testosterone. Conversely, men with higher body fat have greater levels of estrogen.
This piece mentions the relationship between testosterone and body fat, but suffice it to say that getting leaner will improve your T levels and sex drive. But, since you’re going to follow the first tip and lower carbs, losing body fat won’t be an issue, so you’re set.
Increase Dietary Fat Intake—Especially Saturated Fat
For years, people have been afraid of fat and cholesterol, despite the fact that avoiding them seems not to be slowing the growth of the obesity epidemic at all. Gripes aside, fat isn’t just “not that bad” for you—it’s far healthier than you’ve been led to believe.
Further is study is needed to confirm this, but seems likely that the “health issues” that are sometimes thought to be correlated with high dietary fat and cholesterol intake are probably more do to other lifestyle factors.
For example, despite the fact that high fat intake has been linked to heart disease, the recent popularity of the Paleo diet has produced a tremendous amount of anecdotal evidence that people on higher fat, lower carbohydrate diets do not seem to experience a radical increase in cholesterol—particularly when this diet is combined with exercise.
In fact, often times cholesterol levels go down. Most importantly, the ratio of HDL:LDL tends to improve, as do other markers of health, like total triglyceride count, which decreases.
More importantly, concern about “high cholesterol” is generally overblown, because cholesterol is largely misunderstood. Something to consider is that cholesterol is actually a pre-cursor to all sex hormones—including testosterone.
And so, for men looking to increase testosterone and sex drive, avoiding dietary fat and cholesterol is a bad idea. In fact, it’s been suggested that increasing cholesterol increases testosterone.
Wanna safeguard your sex drive? Bring on the bacon!
As I mentioned above, low sex drive is a harrowingly trying problem to deal with, and it’s more common than you think, because low Testosterone is truly epidemic.
And while deceased libido is, for most men, an unavoidable consequence of low testosterone, what’s not inevitable is the drop in T.
The first thing you need to do: get tested. Even if you’re not currently experiencing any of the symptoms, you should at least know your T levels so that you have a baseline of comparison for the future.
From there, follow the above tips to start taking control of your body and creating a hormonal environment that will facilitate a healthy, well-balanced life—one that includes sex.
Confidence. It’s what every woman desires in her man. In any man. It is the very thing that attracts her, reels her in, sometimes (if he’s a bad boy), like a moth to flame. There are men who naturally have confidence. Then there are the multitudes of other men, who want it desperately.
They may spend thousands of dollars on books and courses, in pursuit of confidence, courage, and class, only to find out that it cannot be purchased. You don’t get a trophy just for participating in real life.
Confidence must be earned. It must be rooted deep inside, and programmed into our very core.
Sadly, there is no quick way to fix something that has been hammered into you over years. There are many roads to confidence, and the brutal truth is, that road is different for each of us. But the answer, my friends, lies in the search!
There are many things that you can do to have confidence. And to truly have confidence you must do these things.
As you may know by now, women have a “sixth sense.” Some call it “women’s intuition,” but simply put, it’s a Bullshit Detector. And they are GOOD at it. If you fake confidence, they know. So there is no shortcut, you must do the work. I have compiled a series of 10 ways to help you gain confidence by incorporating it deep into who you really are.
In this short article, I am going to touch on a big one- EXPECTATION. Lose expectation, gain confidence. Expectation can make you disingenuous, conniving, and generally unattractive. Plus, it keeps you from being “present” in the moment, which is a very confident place to be.
Understand this, when you desire and approach a woman, she already knows there is almost a 100% chance that you want to sleep with her. Don’t believe me? Ask them. They will tell you. Remember, they are hit on all day by other guys, badly. You must be the exception.
Take away the pressure you may put on yourself, by not desiring an outcome. If you introduce yourself to a lovely lady, let it go wherever it goes. She already knows you are interested. Don’t try to act like you are not. That is not congruent and will make you appear indecisive, which is a big turn off.
I have actually heard some “gurus” teaching guys to go up and tell the woman you “are not hitting on her or anything, but…” But, my butt! That’s exactly what you are doing, and she knows it. That’s just starting off with a lie. Not a good place to be.
Do you want to sleep with her?… Does the Pope wear a funny hat? (What, too soon?)
If you didn’t want to sleep with her, you would not be making your move (or reading this). She knows. You know. Cut the BS. Taking away that initial awkwardness is essential to confidence. While other guys hem and haw with their lines, tricks, and games, you can go right in and say whatever you want. A simple “Hey” is always a good place to start.
Don’t try to play the “I don’t just like you for your looks” ruse. What the Hell else do you have to go on at this point? You just saw her, for cryin’ out loud. Again, she knows this too.
Whether it’s a first meeting, or a few dates in, losing expectation and actually letting things happen however they do, will allow you to calm yourself and not worry about an outcome. That is what I mean by “being present.” If you are not worrying about trying to get something from her, you can actually find yourself listening to her and making her feel comfortable in your presence.
A relaxed you = a confident you. You will be able to have a genuine conversation with a woman. It will seem effortless. It will flow. And you will be at your best. The destination is no longer a concern, you are enjoying the journey. And most importantly, so is she.
If you are constantly trying to wear her down and get her into the bedroom, that will put unnecessary pressure on both of you and can end badly…very badly. When you are calm and open to whatever happens, be it a lovely home cooked meal you prepared for her and nothing but a nice discussion, or crazy monkey sex with leather and bananas, she will be relaxed and open to you.
Stay cool and don’t expect anything except an enjoyable evening with a nice person and you will rarely be disappointed.
Will you make the seductive moves and attempt to guide the evening into a wild night of erotic passion and raucous naughty fun? Of course you will. I’m not saying to shun your deep ancestral programming for desire. Just learn to be in control of it to the point that you are fine with whatever happens.
I call it being alone, but not lonely.
Being comfortable with oneself is a very strong place to be indeed. And if nothing happens, always take a moment to glean what you can from the evening’s interaction. Learn from it and enjoy knowing that you are in the journey and becoming greater than you are now.
Remember this, you are all you got! And you are enough. All these things that you have been learning in the way of relationships, pick up, dating, etc. are all very valuable. They are parts of a bigger puzzle. Not everyone progresses at the same pace, nor starts at the same place. Some have much more work to do than others.
Do not expect that you are going to be at any certain point at any certain time. The confidence comes from the journey itself, not the outcome. When you understand that, you will immediately gain much more confidence and a shift will take place in your life. You may not feel it or see it, but women will.
So take the first step, and have the confidence to release your expectations and embrace your journey of both dating and self discovery.
Go on. Be strong.
Spike Spencer, the Dating Sage
I went out to see a movie recently with a good friend of mine, Jeff. The movie turned out to be a pretty decent crime drama, where the well-meaning guy is caught up in a web of intrigue and deception. And there were a few hot scenes with two women kissing.
Always a bonus…
I remarked to my friend after the movie was over: “You know, in all those movies where the guy’s wife leaves him because of a misunderstanding, and he has to prove his innocence… We just see them together again. We never get to see that scene where she apologizes for not believing him and begs him to take her back.”
We had a good laugh at that, because it’s true.
And then we went on to talk about a few of the other fun things guys should be told about women before they start dating them. You know, as a kind of public service pamphlet for men.
Here are 4 of the ones we came up with…
#4 Thing you need to know about women: They Love Drama
Drama rules a woman’s world. Though, she’d never describe it that way.
To her, all the emotional turmoil she goes through is just the regular roller coaster ride of emotions that she views as perfectly normal.
The ups and downs of her friend’s drama, her family drama, her dog’s drama… it’s all part of the world she lives in. Guys don’t find this part of her world all that interesting – most of the time. So we do our best to avoid her drama situations.
But when they involve us, the guy has to know how to handle the drama. And there’s a way you can do this quickly and effectively – if you know the secrets of how to handle women.
I’ll explain that in just a minute…
Now this leads us to the next thing about women:
#3 Thing you need to know about women: They Are Experts At Putting Men On The Defense.
Have you ever heard the term “flooding“?
It’s a psychological term for when you feel overwhelmed with emotions coming at you from someone else.
Which is typically what happens when a woman sits you down and says, “We need to talk.”
Those 4 words are enough to make any man freak out right there. And women KNOW it, but still can’t seem to help themselves from hitting us up with it when their emotional tea-kettle is fit to blow.
As they say, the best defense is a good offense.
If you have a woman in your life, or talk to women (hopefully that’s every guy), you have to be ready for a woman laying a big emotional stink bomb on you at ANY moment.
It could be drama, could be a really heavy conversation about “where this is going,” or just about anything.
You have to know what to do to when the time comes.
And that leads us to…
#2 Thing you need to know about women: They Really Don’t Like Nice Guys.
And I’m not referring to the kind of guy who pulls her chair out for her or opens doors for her. That’s not the kind of “Nice Guy” I mean here.
I’m talking about the “Nice Guy” that drives her crazy because he can’t seem to make a decision.
The kind of Nice Guy that makes himself available for her all the time, anytime. Letting her walk all over him.
The kind of Nice Guy that buys a woman gifts and dinners and dates in the hopes that if he spends enough, she’ll come around.
Just an FYI, in case you haven’t figured this out on your own: You can’t “nice” a girl into bed. Not even with guilt.
She needs to feel that powerful charge that tells her she’s dealing with a seriously Alpha Man.
The “Nice” Bad Boy.
Which leads me to…
#1 Thing you need to know about women: She Loves Bad Boys
Whether we like it or not – and most of us DON’T like it… Women LOVE Bad Boys.
What is it these guys do that gets women?
Well, first of all, he knows how to handle her drama. He knows that when she pulls out the emotional big guns, he can take it.
He also has the confidence to handle any emotional barrage a woman can come up with. He’s never rattled by her.
He also knows that women SAY they want a nice guy, but they really don’t mean “nice” in that way. Women want a man who can respect them and treat them well – but they absolutely need a guy that knows how to trigger her feeling of adventure and excitement.
When she comes to him with a big, heavy emotional trip - The Bad Boy knows what to say and how to handle her.
The Bad Boy really isn’t “bad.”
He’s just the guy we’ve been made to believe is the hurt, James Dean type. Standing on a street corner with his leather motorcycle jacket.
Guys have been brainwashed into thinking he’s out there, and he’s the enemy.
In reality, there’s really no such thing as a “Bad Boy.”
The Bad Boy is actually just a *set of skills* with women that the Nice Guy is missing.
It’s a formula that any guy can use to get women hopelessly addicted to him.
If you’d like to have this formula for yourself – to be the “nice guy” that flies in under her radar and gets laid…
Then you need to see THIS - The Secret Formula for changing almost any woman’s mind about you and making her BEG to be your girlfriend…