Here’s an email from a reader that I think a lot of other guys can relate to:
“Hey Carlos, I’ve been going through your course which is really powerful stuff. But a lot of women…I mean a lot! …always give me this cold treatment routine which I’m getting sick of. I always see the same thing…she’s just sitting there and not making eye contact like I’m talking to a wall…or if she does talk it’s always some nasty comment to make me go away. I want to be this cool and fun guy they want to hang out with but I get pissed off when I get rejected and I barely said anything yet! I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.”
Here’s my reply:
Thanks for writing in. Let me answer your email by telling you that one of the first things I teach guys about attracting women is to NOT care.
I’m not saying you should screw up on purpose, but you shouldn’t let the possibility of failing paralyze you.
So what if she’s being rude or bitchy? Should you let that faze you in any way?
Look, I know it’s impossible not to feel anything, and I’m not asking you to. What you should understand though is that your feelings are not part of the experience.
Put them away in a little compartment, leave it at the door and pick it up on your way home. In the meantime, suck it up and power through her barrier.
Remember, your heart racing and adrenaline pumping is your body’s primitive survival mechanism to protect you from danger – whether it’s real or not.
What comes to mind when you’re about to go out with your lady friend for the first time?
Maybe a candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant? A romantic stroll down the beach and a picnic paired with her favorite wine?
All of that sounds fine, but NOT on the first date.
To avoid looking desperate, you need to rethink how the first date fits in the big picture. This isn’t the time to bombard her with the romantic stuff; instead, it’s your chance to know each other a little better.
Laying the Groundwork
Remember: proper seduction is all about gradual escalation.
Most women don’t want to feel rushed into something they’re not ready for. So, your first date should go by two simple guidelines:
- Keep it short and sweet; anything over an hour is too much
- Make her feel good around your presence
If you can pull that off, you’ll be able to leave things on a positive note until you see her again.
Plus, you’re not going to create a good first impression by letting the first date drag on and on. Boredom is not a good feeling to have.
With that said, it’s best to plant that seed of attraction early on by coming in prepared.
Ask yourself, “What is she into?”
Chances are you have the same interests (since you liked her enough to ask her out), or she likes something you’re willing to learn more about. Find out what it is and read up on it.
Knowing her type also gives you an idea of where to take her. For now, meet her somewhere that seems more casual than romantic. Try a coffee shop (if she’s the intellectual type) or a bowling alley (for the sports-minded ladies) to keep things pressure-free.
Remember, a little homework never killed an Alpha Male.
In the Field
Armed with a rough idea of what to talk about, the next step is to employ a simple yet powerful technique to ensure conversational success.
Get her going with a little right-back-at-you language. Allow me to explain:
- Let’s say she tells you about that eye-opening foreign student exchange program she did years ago. So, the takeaway is that she’s into traveling and exploring other cultures.
- You shoot this right back at her by saying the “same” thing: “Hey, that’s pretty cool…I remember spending the summer at my grandfather’s farm for the first time. I was mostly raised in the city, so it was a totally different world – in a good way. It’s awesome being out of your comfort zone and trying something new, you know what I mean?”
In attracting women, sometimes, you can be so focus on trying to be impressive that you can be over the top and instead of attracting them, you’d be scaring them away.
It’s essential to always remember to keep it simple and true. And this article will take you to those important basics that you need to know.
- Carlos Xuma
Title: What attracts women
Women can be some of the most confusing creatures on earth. If you are trying to attract women you can get it wrong when you think you are doing everything right.
The question every man asks at some point in their life is this.
What attracts women?
Is it good looks?
And what do you do to attract women if you are not on the Forbes richest men in America list?
Here are some tips for the everyday guy to catch the eye of women everywhere…
You’ve known that women like to be pursued and you’re more than willing to pursue them. But, when you meet a woman you really like to get-to-know better and take out on a date…
How would you know when to stop pushing and pursuing? How do you know when to back off?
Read this article and find out. It could be your life-saver – from being labeled a jerk, stalker or worse a “creep.”
- Carlos Xuma
Title: When Should I Leave Her Alone?
So, when do you know when to back off? The first time she genuinely, explicitly rejects you, that’s when. No one can blame you for making the overture, but she’s not under any obligation to accept it, either.
Sure, now might not be a good time for a particular girl due to any number of circumstances, but she’ll let you know that. There’s a difference between “thanks for the offer, but I can’t this weekend” and “thanks, but I’m not interested.”
Now, is there such a thing as a woman who’ll meter her affection based on how much and how hard you pursue her?
Yes, but those women are looking to take …
An amusement park offers a variety of attractions, rides and other events – all designed to make anyone feel an excited and happy. The full bright colors, rides that give you the power to fly – all built to unleash the child in you.
When you first go in, anticipation kicks in and there’s an immediate sensory overload. All your problems go away, reality’s out the window, and you immediately focus on the moment – right here, right now.
This trick that amusements parks play on you and your emotions can help you understand how to make her fall in love with you. What you need to do is understand it’s mechanics and what it does to that appeals to your brain and create that feeling of “fun” instantly.
Here are just a few of the “tricks” amusement parks use that you can leverage to create more connection and faster attraction with women.
Create A thrill
The exciting rides like a roller coaster where you’re thrown fast up in the air and it goes down just as fast is the kind of thing you need to make her excited and thrilled. That “fast and the furious” feeling has that effect of making anyone let go of any inhibitions they may have.
That sensation you get – knowing you could possibly die – will make her bond with you on a deep level. She’ll lean on you for support and time will slow down and it’d be just you and her. Enjoying the moment.
Like in the movie “The Notebook” where Noah Calhoun (Ryan Gosling), a working class boy, falls in love with Allie (Rachel McAdams) who’s an upper class girl. There was this part where Noah walked out in the middle of the road and laid down. He asked Allie to lay down with her. At first she said no, but, after awhile conceded and lays down beside him. It was a thrilling experience for her.