Here is an excellent explanation – from a woman.

So those great ladies over at The Wing Girl Method wrote a recent newsletter that speaks to something I hear asked a lot, too…

Read on:
______________________

Tons of you keep writing in and asking a females opinion on whether
or not a man should pay for the first date.

I will tell you, as a woman I feel that only a true man will pay
for the first date, boys will offer to go dutch.

I know that tons of other PUA's scream and preach that men should
not pay because they feel it sets a man up to be the cash cow for
the remainder of the relationship.

I am a woman and I aggressively disagree.

If a man asks me out on a first date and then offers to go dutch or
holds out for me to offer to pay, it is so over.

On that first date I want to feel like a lady and I want the man
I'm with to be a gentleman.

I will always offer and probably feel bad or uncomfortable with the
man paying. But I would be very disappointed if a man expected
me or made me pay on the first date.

If I pay it is not a date it is a friendly outing.

The only time it MAY be acceptable, is when I ask a man out. This
is because it was my invite and therefore my responsibility to
handle the bill.

Even in this situation the best thing for a man
to do would be to say "I know you asked me but I would like to
pay". I would of course, would reject the idea but then give in.

This is an exchange that makes me feel safe, valued and female.
All the things I want to feel on a first date.

Now of course some of you are reading this and thinking "money
hungry bitch". I know you are. I have many of my clients use this
term and I want to put a stop to it right now.

A situation like this has nothing to do with money it has to do
with roles.

In my eyes, as a woman, when I begin dating someone I
want to be courted, wooed and wowed. I WANT TO FEEL FEMININE.

______________________

CARLOS XUMA COMMENTS:

Damn straight, ladies.

Guys out there must realize that there are some women who expect this – and it's really not a Gold-digger mentality as much as a role for men to fulfill.

Look, you want her to clean up and wear sexy clothes and push those boobies up to her neck… You can swing for the shrimp, dude.

If you can't afford it, go someplace more reasonable.

But you should only being going on "dates" with women you have effectively pre-screened and verified. None of this "let's go out for dinner and a movie" for the first time out with her crap.

Make sure a woman is what you want FIRST, and then you invest.

Just like the stock market, bud. If you just pick a stock because it "feels good" – you'll lose your shirt.

And deserve it.

Be the man, so she can feel safe to be the woman.

- Carlos Xuma

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