Guys, let this be a lesson to you: It's pretty easy to beat the masses out there, especially if they're like this poor woman's tale of tragedy:

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I first placed on online personals ad in January 1999. Never met anyone from it – I had lots of personal baggage I had to get rid of first, but it was a good way to get my feet wet. By May/June, I was starting to get back into the swing of real-life dating.

Jen, my best friend, had just started seeing a guy she had met online, and was really happy about it, so I decided to give it another shot. I placed the ad and most of the people who responded lived really far away – the other side of the state, if not Turkey or Sri Lanka.

So, one guy who seemed nice (liked Seinfeld, could type and spell well enough) wrote and we chatted online for about a week when he asked for my phone number. Ah… what could it hurt? We chatted a few days and he asked if I wanted to meet him. Asked? It was more like begging. I was a bit reluctant, but I eventually agreed.

I should add here that (bad judgment on my part) this guy was on WebTV and couldn't send a picture. He described himself as a "Tall, athletic, blonde." Now, we all know that that could describe anyone from Fabio to Larry Bird, but he assured me he was no Larry Bird. He actually said he looked like Rick Schroder.

Alas, when the meeting did finally happen, he did not look like Rick Schroder. He confessed that he hadn't been told he looked like him since Silver Spoons was on the air! Somehow this "tall athletic blonde" was shorter than me… in my platform sandals, I was probably 5'8.

And athletic? Maybe if chess is a sport, because I don't think his spindly arms could really lift anything heavier than a pawn. But his less-than-advertised looks weren't what worried me. It was that… SMELL. The boy had the WORST breath I had ever smelled in my life. Roadkill breath.

But that wasn't all. His personality seemed… different. He kept talking about sex, boobs, girls on tv that had nice boobs, and celebrity women I looked like. Courtney Cox, Elizabeth Hurley, Sandra Bullock, Fran Drescher, Sigorney Weaver!?! And I don't look a bit like ANY of them. Dark hair and thin. That was the only similarity.

Oh, and I can't forget that he brought photo albums with him, with pictures of his ex-girlfriends. It was as if he were presenting a resume – "Look, other pretty girls have gone out with me!" He was *really* hung up on this girl he used to date from Germany, too. I mean really, really, really hung up on her. And you know… I didn't really need to know her cup size and her preference for going braless.

He wanted to know if we were going steady now. Going steady? After one date? Even if he wasn't a smelly creep, I wouldn't "go steady" that soon. I tried being nice and said I wasn't interested in a serious relationship right now. He explained that his last girlfriend moved in with him after their first date. Uh… ok. Now why couldn't you have mentioned any of this – the possessiveness, the obsession with celebrity boobs, the SMELL – before I agreed to meet you?

So, it was finally time for me to skee-dattle. I had to get away from that smell! He asked for a kiss. I said, "No, I don't kiss on a first date." That was a lie. I should have said I don't kiss on a LAST date. He asked for a hug… I went to hug him and… the bastard tried to grab one of my boobs! Luckily, I have the reflexes of the Karate Kid – Wax-on/Wax-off. (Which I'm sure he did later.) I said something to the effect of "What the hell are you doing?!" and he replied, "Well, you can't blame me for trying!" I said, "Yes, I sure can!" hopped in my car and sped off.

The NEXT day, Mr. Stinky Breath e-mailed me saying what a wonderful time he had and how beautiful I am and how much he looks forward to seeing me again. I shoot him back a surprisingly cordial e-mail saying that while I had fun with him, there just wasn't any chemistry. This got Stinky Breath angry — he wrote back a bunch of e-mails saying that I was stupid and ugly and that sort of thing.

He also wrote, "The ideal woman is one who is attractive and intelligent, but doesn't know she is." HUH?! So, in other words, his ideal woman is one who is insecure. That clears things up a lot. Thanks.

About two weeks later, he e-mailed telling me he gave my e-mail address to a friend – maybe he'd have better luck with me. What the f*** am I? A Rubick's Cube? Stinky Breath couldn't figure me out so maybe his friend could? I don't think so! I wrote him back lamb-basting him and saying that he had BETTER not have given his friend my primary address. Didn't hear from him or his friend.

About two months later, Stinky Breath sent me a response to my next personal ad, saying something like, "Hey Lori, remember me? I'm the tall blonde from the Poconos who wasn't quite good enough for you…"

Arrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhh!

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CARLOS XUMA COMMENTS:

Now, it's not that this guy's looks were the problem…

It was the whole package.

But I'd sure love to hear what you guys think were the cumulative mistakes he made along the way.

And post your comments about any freaky experiences you've had.

Remember – there are no bad experiences. Only great stories!

Are you going to join me at THE premier pickup event of the year?
The date is approaching. Fast!
October 17-19, 2008 the greatest pickup artists in the world are going to descend on Los Angeles. And you should be there too!

Savoy and the guys at Mystery Method and Love Systems are putting on this incredible three-day event with all the biggest names in the industry. Names like me – Carlos Xuma – Brad P., Moxie, The Don, Fader, Cajun, and many, many more!
If you’ve even considered coming to the Superconference this year, KEEP READING!

Hey man, Carlos here…

You probably already know that I’m going to be a featured speaker and leader at the Love Systems Superconference coming up in October.

And I’ve got a talk put together that is absolutely PACKED with incredible information. You definitely won’t want to miss it.

GET MORE INFO ON THE SUPERCONFERENCE – CLICK HERE

This is an incredible opportunity to meet and hang out with all the TOP guys in the community! And I want to give you the chance to be there!

Because I worked out a really special opportunity with Savoy, I’m able to make you a great offer to attend the Superconference. Three offers really. And one of them involves The Playboy Mansion – so keep reading.

Here are some of the KILLER sessions they’re doing at the Superconference:

Mr. M on Advanced Attraction
Soul on Deep Comfort
Savoy on Relationship Management and MLTRs
Braddock on Callback Humor
Project Rockstar – How they changed their lives and how you can too!
Soul on Day Game
Cajun on Body Language
Teasing and Banter – How to think on your feet!
Physical Escalation – Touching gets results!
Vocal Projection – Watch your results really take off!

The Playboy Mansion

What else can I say? The Playboy Mansion! Platinum Level Superconference attendees will do their in-field work at The Playboy Mansion! And there may never be another chance like this again. Most of you already know Fox News has reported that October 31, 2008 will be the last of the wild nights Hef personally throws. This is probably your last chance to party at The Playboy Mansion with the most beautiful women in the World! Are you going to take it?

Note: I heard the Platinum Level package is filling up FAST! If you want in on The Playboy Mansion get yourself registered NOW.

And, as a Superconference attendee you’ll also have access to incredible new products and programs! This is stuff that isn’t available to the public yet!

Right now, they have three great packages for you to get the best Superconference experience.

Platinum Level – This incredible top level package includes a private meet and greet with Savoy and the other top Love Systems instructors, two incredible nights of in-field training in the incredible venues of Las Angeles, a full night of training and partying at The Playboy Mansion and full insider access to all the incredible sessions at the Superconference

Gold Level – This is another top level package that includes the private meet and greet with Savoy and the other top Love Systems instructors, two incredible nights of in-field training in the incredible venues of Las Angeles and full insider access to all the incredible sessions at the Superconference.

Silver Level – This basic package is loaded with value and incredible learning opportunities! The Silver Level Package gives you full, 100% insider access to ALL the great Superconference seminars and sessions.

This Superconference is shaping up to be an absolutely INCREDIBLE, OFF THE CHARTS experience this time around. This is going to be an awesome, not to miss event and I really hope you can join me and some of the greatest pickup artists IN THE WORLD for this incredible 3 day Superconference.

GET MORE INFO ON THE SUPERCONFERENCE – CLICK HERE

Hope to see you there!

P.S. I'm offering a free sit-down and get coached session with me for Friday night if you sign up for Savoy's superconference through the link above. Just email me and let me know and you'll get some free time with me…!

Are you curious about reading body language, and how you should do it?

Well, I've got a very big tip on reading body language that most guys miss. I wanted to share this special report with you.

Go read it now:
Carlos' Special Report: Reading Body Language

It's one of the biggest mistakes guys make when learning about this, and I don't want you to fall into this trap…

Not many people know about this…

It's something I'll tell you more about this week…

Go see it…

Get a Girlfriend – FAST

QUESTION FROM A READER:

Carlos, I've been studying the percentage changes in extra marital affairs, where psychologists are indicating that now married women are having affairs at rates approaching those heretofore ascribed to men. Have you ever conducted any of your surveys in this area.

Yes, it is a taboo consideration, but I'm sure guy's with attractive spouses would have an interest in how often they are being "hit" upon and the rates of success of various techniques: yes I do have an agenda here.

- A
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CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

The fact is that women DO cheat about as much as men… and pretty much ALWAYS have. (More in older age brackets…)

There are a few books on this, but honestly, since women buy most of the books, do you think this is something they want everyone to know?

Read: Women's Infidelity by Michelle Langley, and listen to my interview with her in my Advanced Coaching program. It will open your eyes.

Also:

1) They're better at hiding affairs
2) They're better at handling them

Women also understand that they are much more free than they once were to explore their sexual satisfaction than ever before.

It's not bad or good, it just IS. Women will cheat only if they are not getting what they want from the man they're with.

Be the right man and you've got little to worry about.

I sleep really well at night…

CX