Hey Carlos
This is not the normal question that you get I assume, but I didn't know who to turn to to get advice.
The thing is that I have absolutely no friends and I don't really have much of a social life. It's not that people don't like me, on the contrary, people do like me a lot, but I just don't feel like I have anything to offer. I guess I could get a social life by getting a few hobbies or something.
The thing is thought, how do I make friends that I can hang out with? It was probably back in grade school that I last hung out with someone in my leisure time (I'm 19 and just finished high school).
I just don't know what to talk about with other guys, I kinda missed out on this for so many years so many guys are just more confident, cool and masculine in many ways. I hope it's not to late to change that. It maybe sounds silly but I really don't know what guys do when they hang out and what t talk about.
Thanks
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CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:
Well, this is actually a question I get all the time, believe it or not. There are a lot of guys who have not fully developed their "social muscle."
And you're still in a great place to get yourself social, so have no fear.
Step 1: Get out of the house.
You'll never get social by sitting at home, so start by just going out – alone if you have to.
Sign up for parties. Go to art shows. Go to any and every event you can find.
Sign up for dance classes.
But make sure you're getting out at least a couple (2-3 nights/days) per week.
Your full-time job while you're on this search is to find friends.
What would you do if this was your paying job and you needed to find people to work with?
It's always a question of motivation. Find your motivation and kick your own ass out the door.
You're going to need to be your own drill instructor and get tough with yourself.
No TV.
No sitting at home reading books.
No surfing the net and hanging in chat rooms.
I'm sure you're probably waiting for "Step 2" in this process, but if you just do Step 1, you won't need a Step 2. Everything comes from that one starting point.
It's slow to get going, but once you do, it's like an avalanche.
And make sure you understand the essence of Power Social Skills, too.
Comment on this post if you'd like more on this topic in my upcoming videos and newsletters…
