Here's a very interesting article from Newsweek on how our boys are struggling here in the U.S.
Take a read through it, and then read my comments below…
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Struggling School-Age Boys – by Peg Tyre
A new study says parents are right to worry about their sons.
Every other week it seems a new study comes out that adds to our already-formidable arsenal of parental worries. But even by those escalating standards, the report issued last week by the federal government's National Center for Health Statistics contained a jaw-dropper: the parents of nearly one of every five boys in the United States were concerned enough about what they saw as their sons' emotional or behavioral problems that they consulted a doctor or a health-care professional. By comparison, about one out of 10 parents of girls reported these kinds of problems.
The report confirms what many of us have been observing for some time now: that lots of school-age boys are struggling. And, parents are intensely worried about them.
What is ailing our sons? Some experts suggest we are witnessing an epidemic of ADHD and say boys need more medication. Others say that environmental pollutants found in plastics, among other things, may be eroding their attention spans and their ability to regulate their emotions.
Those experts may be right but I have another suggestion. Let's examine the way our child rearing and our schools have evolved in the last 10 years. Then ask ourselves this challenging question: could some of those changes we have embraced in our families, our communities and our schools be driving our sons crazy?
Instead of unstructured free play, parents now schedule their kids' time from dawn till dusk (and sometimes beyond.) By age 4, an ever-increasing number of children are enrolled in preschool. There, instead of learning to get along with other kids, hold a crayon and play Duck, Duck, Goose, children barely out of diapers are asked to fill out work sheets, learn computation or study Mandarin. The drumbeat for early academics gets even louder when they enter "real" school.
Veteran teachers will tell you that first graders are now routinely expected to master a curriculum that, only 15 years ago, would have been considered appropriate for second, even third graders. The way we teach children has changed, too. In many communities, elementary schools have become test-prep factories—where standardized testing begins in kindergarten and "teaching to the test" is considered a virtue.
At the same time, recess is being pushed aside in order to provide extra time for reading and math drills. So is history and opportunities for hands-on activities—like science labs and art. Active play is increasingly frowned on—some schools have even banned recess and tag. In the wake of school shootings like the tragedy at Virginia Tech, kids who stretch out a pointer finger, bend their thumb and shout "pow!" are regarded with suspicion and not a little fear.
Our expectations for our children have been ramped up but the psychological and physical development of our children has remained about the same. Some kids are thriving in the changing world. But many aren't. What parents and teachers see—and what this government study now shows—is that the ones who can't handle it are disproportionately boys.
Some researchers responded to last weeks' study by calling for more resources for more mental-health services for children—especially males. That's an admirable goal. But when nearly one in five boys has such serious behavioral and emotional issues that their parents are talking it over with their pediatrician, you can bet we are facing a problem that requires a more fundamental change in our society than medication or weekly therapy.
Let's take a moment, before the school year gets any farther underway, and ask ourselves whether we are raising and educating our boys in a way that respects their natural development. And if we are not, let's figure out how we can bring our family life and our schools back into line.
This is one study that we ignore at our peril.
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CARLOS XUMA COMMENTS:
Well, boo-hoo. We're raising the bar on our education, and now everyone is crying that this is causing problems for our kids?
COME ON!
Environmental pollutants?
More medications?
NO!
What boys need are strong, present role models.
As in, their dads should be raising them as men. Challenging them.
And then helping them overcome those challenges so they can learn how to live up to their own destiny.
AND their dads need to actually BE THERE. Single parent families are more prevalent, but they are also a hazard to boys, because most boys do not have strong male role models around.
Sorry, ladies. You aren't a strong male role model any more than a man is a nurturing female presence.
Now, I will agree that more active play is needed, but not the kind that's in front of an X-box or Wii. They need to get outside and start getting hurt.
I hear boys crying and complaining all the time about getting hurt. "Ow! Ouch! OWIE…"
When I was a kid, I just brushed myself off and kept playing. None of this "Ow!" crap. If you cried about a boo-boo, the other boys thought you were a wuss.
Stop coddling our boys and start treating them like kids who will eventually be MEN.
What do you think?
Am I just a nut case on this one? Post your comments below…
Peg Tyre does make a good point – children are being over scheduled by parents, as a society we are losing sight that, even at ten and eleven years old, these individuals are children and need to behave and act like children. I am a child of the '70s and feel that I turned out okay. Now…boys will one day grow into men and helping them to develop into good men does not involve medicating them or keeping them from plastic bags. I agree with you 100% – they need challenges, but providing them with role models that have walked a similar path and made it through to the other side successfully is vital. The Genuine Men Project believes that it is how a man meets his challenges and carries his experiences throughout his lifetime that makes him an individual of great strength and character. That is what we need more of today. If boys don't have these role models in their immediate family – male or female, those that are in their lives need to look within their community and find these role models for the boys. Teachers, neighbors, uncles, community or religious leaders, and even their peers. Roles models are all around us, we just need to take the time to recognize them for ourselves because often these men are not out tooting their own horns, but just living quietly leading by example. We can all learn from the stories of men.
Comment by Nancy Bruno — September 13, 2008 @ 5:40 am
Why are girls excluded from the equation? They are suffering from wussiness too. Women can handle the pain of childbirth, so why do we teach them to be weak and cowardly (like we teach our men)? This is a crisis of humanity, not of men, women, Americans, developed nations, etc. Mindful acceptance, without attachment. This is taught best by not freaking out when someone suffers, just being present and understanding of their situation. Compassionate understanding is different than projection and coddling. "You skinned your knee? Breathe. How do you feel about that?" rather than "Oh you poor thing let me get you a band-aid we wouldn't want it to get infected! I'll call the doctor and write you a note!"
Comment by Brendan — September 16, 2008 @ 1:55 am