My good buddy FJ Shark surprised me this morning with some good posts for you guys that I'll put up over the next few days….
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“Test Your Wingman Before You Fly With Him”

Regarding the comment I received about…

“I asked the waitress who her Orthodontist was. My friend was all over me about how lame that was."
This brings up a good point. 
He might not have liked ANY opener you used…
Remember, not all wingmen are created equal.
Just because you are with one of your buddies, doesn't mean he's a wingman who has your best interest in mind.
I've had friends I'm sitting with even start arguments with me purposely so they can look cool in front of the waitress or women at another table.
Some guys just act completely different and freak out when they are around women.
Out of a survival mode, they try and verbally "kill you" so they can have the woman for themselves.
Some guys are not team players, and when you think they are there to help you,
…they are just waiting for their opportunity to throw you under the bus and go after the woman themselves.
So know they act around women BEFORE you trust them with helping you by being a wingman who's a "team player".
 -F.J. Shark
Author: “How to be the Jerk Women Love”

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CARLOS COMMENTS:
This is an excellent point. So many guys assume (wrongly) that your wingman is going to be an unbiased and level-minded helper.
Sometimes they're just jealous fools. Sometimes they're just learning the game like you, and don't really know what to do.
Remember, there is no force of denial greater than a mans ego.
Choose your wingmen well!
Thanks to  -F.J. Shark
Author: “How to be the Jerk Women Love”


My good friend Nathan just wrote up this exclusive article for you guys… He's also giving away some free fitness videos on his site, and I'm going to give you that link, too. He's got some great exercises for abs that I've been using lately, and you need to see these…
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"Do You Shape Up For Sex?”

I think most guys at one time or another have wondered why women or that specific woman may not be attracted to them. At first glance it looks like all the right pieces are there but things just don’t quite materialize as we think they should. Many times this is when you start to wonder is there something outside of your control; is there something missing.

There are different camps out there when it comes to what really attracts women.

Some say it really is all personality and that, if you learn the attraction techniques and mindset you will be able to attract gorgeous women in your sleep.

While I do believe it's very important to learn these skills, I think some focus too much on it and rationalize to themselves it's all they need. If they can memorize every line, be prepared for any scenario they are in a sense bullet-proof and ready for success.

Then there's the group that thinks all you need is big shoulders, big chest and a six pack and you will have women dragging you home to have their way with you.

I don't agree with this either because I don't care how built you are, that will only last so long if you can only muster shallow, personality lacking conversation.

Again, there is value in taking care of your body not only for physical appearance, but also how it affects confidence and mindset. As a man you want to become the ultimate package and to do that one must look at the whole picture.

There is a place in the middle; the truth very rarely resides in the extremes so that’s what we’re going to talk about today. The biological factors that come into play that most men are not aware of.

Research has actually been done to look deeper into why some women are attracted to certain guys and why some are not.

For example, Polish scientists discovered that when it comes to choosing a man, the more sexy and curvaceous a woman is the more importance she places on a man's looks.

Curvier women tend to have more estrogen and a greater maternal urge to find a partner who looks like he will produce strong babies, provide for and protect a family.

Women are wired to be attracted to certain physical traits just as they are to behavior, confidence and success. Without trying to sound barbaric you see this in nature over and over again. When it comes to mating, whether you’re talking about lions or even chimpanzees, the more powerful dominant males have more success.

The weak and more submissive males are beaten up, last to eat and many times they are almost forced to go out on their own or die. We’re not talking about animals; however, the similarities in sexual behavior are undeniable.

According to David Frederick and his team of researchers at UCLA, muscular men are likely to have more sex partners than their less-physically impressive competition. They also found that muscular men are twice as likely to have had more than three sex partners as less muscular men.

Their research suggests men with muscles are comparable to elaborate tail feathers in male peacocks: They attract females looking for a masculine mate. "Women are predisposed to prefer muscularity in men," said study author David Frederick of UCLA.

Interestingly enough there are some studies out there that say women are more concerned with how much money men make and their level of commitment. Fredrick of UCLA found that muscularity and physical characteristics actually mattered more.

In the study 141 women were asked to look at six standardized silhouettes of men ranging from more muscular to slender. “Most preferred a toned man who was more likely to commit over a muscle-bound man they perceived as more volatile, aggressive and dominant.”

So here’s the deal, women are not looking for some muscle bound maniac but rather a guy who’s in shape enough that it’s noticeable and also displays behavior consistent with commitment.

Here we are again back somewhere between the extremes. As I said before, most times we find the truth somewhere in the middle; life is about balance and it’s a man’s job to find it. He that can accomplish this will live a life to be envied and enjoyed.

So at the end of the day it’s important for us as men to learn the laws of attractiveness and the behaviors that are consistent with those laws. It’s equally important to understand certain biological factors are at play that just can’t be avoided. Women are wired to be attracted to the physical as much as the behavior and confidence you project. Take care of the mind and take care of the body.

Think about this, you may be funny, have that attractive magnetic personality but if the guy who is muscular and physically in balance does too who do you think is going to be leaving with her at the end of the night.
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CARLOS XUMA COMMENTS:

What do you think about this article? Make sure to post your comments…

By the way, Nathan Hopkins is a men’s fitness and weight loss expert. His primary focus is not only to help men feel more powerful but to look the part as well. Through his 3X Method he helps guys find the physique that women biologically cannot help but be attracted to.

Learn more about the 3X Method by clicking HERE…

Good news… the Apple Store just released my iPhone application today!

Woo-hooo!

You can now enjoy my updated daily dating tips for guys on your iPhone.

I don't know about you, but I love my iPhone and do a lot of work on it. I don't want to sound like just another one of those Apple zealots out there, but it really is a brilliant piece of technology.

When I go to the store and I see a new movie on Blu-Ray, I can just pull up a quick search to see the reviews of it before I buy it. The same for games, too. (Get the IGN reviews application, while you're at it…)

To get my new dating tips app, just pull up iTunes, go to the iStore, and search on Carlos Xuma. You'll see my apps and the Podcast.

Windows users can get it, too..

- CX

HOW TO GET A GIRL TO LIKE YOU…
Learn the 3 Laws of Attraction…

There are only a few essentials you have to learn when you start learning dating strategy. One of them is that you simply have to understand that to get a girl to like you, you must start ATTRACTION for you.

There are 3 simple laws to this that are based in psychology. These laws don't change just because we think we're "rational." They always work.

Read my latest article on How to Get a Girl to Like You, and learn the Critical 3 Laws of Attraction with women.

Read it here:

HOW TO GET A GIRL TO LIKE YOU…

Love your program Carlos, and I have also noticed a better difference in my interaction with women already! My question is: There is this goth/industrial dance club in downtown Austin were I was hanging out with a buddy of mine one night.

After talking for a while he went to go dance and I was left alone at my table. I didn't want to look like some loner wierdo so I decided to do what I'm not very good at….dancing. I didn't want to seem insecure by doing some nervous looking half-ass "bob my head & snap my fingers" routine, so I just let it out as uninhibited as I could without running into anyone.

I think I might have made a fool of myself and I felt a very uncomfortable feeling of people staring at me. When I found my friend he was talking to this girl I saw on the dance floor so I went up to them(just to be sociable,no pick-up)and she darted of as fast as she could (if she liked my friend wouldn't she be more polite with one of his buddies?)

I like this club alot and I get along pretty good with the owner and his staff, even on that night. However I would like the general people to be comfortable with me so my question is this: Is there any way I can repair this social damage and still make friends(not just meet girls) with the regular patrons?

Am I forever branded as "that guy"?

- J
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CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

It's funny, but there seems to be a lot of advertising and social awareness that is based around guy's fears of being "that guy."

Of course "that guy" is always someone who is unbelievably dorky, or just NOT the cool guy.

Now if by "that guy" you mean the guy who is in his own reality, makes his own fun, and doesn't give a shit about what other people think, then YES – BE THAT GUY!

Look, the best thing you can do is to not even allow that impression that you've created "social damage" to creep into your head.

We always seem to create a horrific scenario when we feel like we've made a social mistake, but in fact, the mistake was that you were not OWNING your behavior.

I've been a complete asshole, but I owned it, and I didn't make excuses or even run around looking for forgiveness. I just went on with my life.

The chick that ran off probably is so caught up in appearances and superficial "what will people think of me" childish thinking that she's not capable of hanging with the fun people. I would have run after her and caught her. Someone like that deserves a little social "awareness."

No, you're not forever branded. You just need to set out to establish some social comfort for yourself there by being consistent with yourself, and really pulling people into your reality a bit more.

If you were a punk and complete butt munch, then I say make amends and get over it. Chill and be the cool guy at the club for a few weeks. No one will remember it by the next weekend.

What was the last socially awkward thing you remember happening to someone else? I can't even remember the last person to do something. We just forget these things.

This is a bit complicated to explain here, but you'll probably get a lot out of this:
HOW TO BE A CONFIDENT MAN – even if you're with a bunch of lamers.

It's where every guy who wants to improve his inner game needs to start.

I hope this helped…

CX