Are pickup artist programs and seduction techniques a scam?

I recently came across someone who wrote a long article in a forum
about how he felt that seduction technique and pickup artist programs
were scams. And that "You don't have to buy any advice to
get better with women or to improve yourself."

Well, after reading what he had to say, I have to admit it sounded
logical.

At first.

But then my forehead started crinkling up, and I wondered… Could
this be true? Could it be that guys just need to "be themselves"
and everything will just work out on its own?

Do guys really need seduction techniques and pickup artist programs?

I'll tell you my first big problem with that thought in just a
minute…

The reality is that his argument wasn't that well thought out, and
if you fall for this mental trap, you can cause yourself some BIG
problems down the road.

Here's the logic of the argument:

- "There's more than enough good free information out there…"

In a way, this is right. After all, there IS a lot of stuff to be
found. But unfortunately…

Read the rest here:
Are pickup artist programs and seduction techniques a scam?

Carlos Xuma will be appearing at the San Francisco Lair on 12/14/2008

If you're in the area, come on over…!

I will be covering inner game and some new concepts from my upcoming ultimate inner game and social shyness program.

The location is at Fort Mason – contact www.thesanfranciscolair.com for more information… and watch this blog for more info.

Hey, I'm a 21 yr old guy and after deciding to lower my expectations a few years back I got with a girl and lost my virginity. Usually if she'd had a history I wouldn't go there. Now I REALLY regret my decision to be with her and especially sleep with her.

Point is, this re-affirmed for me that a virgin lady would be the only suitable for me. How do I go about finding one and if I do is she likely to reject me because I did not wait for her?
______________________
CARLOS XUMA'S UNPOPULAR OPINION ON THIS SUBJECT:

While I do respect your desire for a woman who hasn't been with another man, I don't share your interpretation of what you came away with from your first time experience.

But I will say that if you want to find a virgin woman, you're going to have a real tough time.

Mostly because women lie about this all the time.
(As do men.)

Sorry to tell you this, but humans are horn-dogs at heart. Men and women.

Sexuality is normal and necessary.

What does this "virgin" status REALLY mean to you?

If it's that important, than you should start going to church or religious organizations to meet women. Mostly because virginity is simply not the social norm anymore after a certain age.

Think about it for a second…

Imagine if you met a woman who said she was a virgin, and you and her got together and had a wonderful life together. Then, at the ripe old age of 80-something, she tells you that she wasn't really a virgin when you got together.

Does your last 60 years together suddenly turn to crap because of that confession? Does everything suddenly change?

I don't believe so.

If it did, it would be because you MADE it that way by reverse-engineering your experiences. Looking back on your life and suddenly changing the meaning of all the good events to bad.

That's what 'regret' is.

I also believe that regret is one of the most USELESS emotions. Learn your lesson and move on, but leave regret for someone else. You can't change the past.

I'm not saying this is right or wrong, or that you're even wrong for desiring it. I just want you to really look at your belief system a little closer. Ask yourself the hard questions, and then get an answer.

Find out the REAL "why."

The real message I'm trying to get to you here is that connection between people doesn't need to be complicated, but we seem to make it like that.

Don't create problems that don't exist yet. First find a woman, then deal with the virginity, then deal with your own lack of it.

Then you can deal with how she feels about it. You can't solve problems you don't even have yet.

I, for one, still think you did the right thing by losing your virginity and removing that hang-up from your life. I've seen guys go through 40 years of virginity (just like the movie) and they are complete sexual train wrecks because they have no experience with women.

They really do act weird around people because they have lived a life of repressed desire.

I do sincerely hope that the person reading this now does not offend themselves with my words. But if it happens, I will tell you that I will have no regrets.

Live your life the way you want to. But don't live your life according to a belief you either don't understand completely, or haven't thoroughly examined.

The Alpha Man lives his life on his own terms, and not on the dogma of other people.

And that even includes what I say.

- Carlos

I am SICK of "natural game"

Are as sick of it as I am?

The new buzzword that is aching my ears, man…

It's this "natural" craze that is going down in the community right now.

I am sure you're sick of hearing about it…as am I.

Well, the bad news is that someone else is entering the "fray" of
teaching guys how to be naturally attractive to women.

The good news is that it's one of the most respected and successful
guys in the scene – Stephen Nash. You might remember my interview
with him a few months back.

I've been talking Stephen up to you for the last couple of weeks – and there's
a reason why.

He's one of the few – and I mean FEW – who actually walks the walk. He's a
guy you can learn a LOT from.

Stephen is also known as Playboy, from "The Game", and along with Mystery & Neil, helped found Project Hollywood….aah, so, he's been around and knows
a thing or two.

He's releasing a new program, called "The Natural Art of the Pick-Up" where
he breaks down the structure and skills to a natural pick-up. Literally, he
walks you through EXACTLY what to do to meet and naturally attract
beautiful women.

He shows you the map AND he plots the course for you.

Stephen's seen the best – and I mean the BEST – guys in action, and
then became one of them himself.

His "natural" game skills are unparalleled and are worth your serious
attention.

I won't go on and on about this program, as you can read about it
yourself since it's just gone LIVE.

Go have a look at it here: Natural Pickup Artist Skills

Talk to you later man,

- Carlos

PS: I can totally understand if you're sick of all the launches and programs
out there right now, but I picked up a copy and got a listen to what Stephen
teaches and I knew you'd want me to let you know about it.

Let me know what you think of the program by sending me an email…

Go have a look at it here: Natural Pickup Artist Skills

My friend Nathan over at the 3X Method sent me this article for you guys.

This is interesting stuff regarding attraction and fitness levels. Be sure to post your comments on the article…

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"Do You Shape Up For Sex?”

I think most guys at one time or another have wondered why women or that specific woman may not be attracted to them. At first glance it looks like all the right pieces are there but things just don’t quite materialize as we think they should. Many times this is when you start to wonder is there something outside of your control; is there something missing.

There are different camps out there when it comes to what really attracts women. 

Some say it really is all personality and that, if you learn the attraction techniques and mindset you will be able to attract gorgeous women in your sleep.

While I do believe it's very important to learn these skills, I think some focus too much on it and rationalize to themselves it's all they need. If they can memorize every line, be prepared for any scenario they are in a sense bullet-proof and ready for success.

Then there's the group that thinks all you need is big shoulders, big chest and a six pack and you will have women dragging you home to have their way with you. 

I don't agree with this either because I don't care how built you are, that will only last so long if you can 
only muster shallow, personality lacking conversation. Again, there is value in taking care of your body not only for physical appearance, but also how it affects confidence and mindset. As a man you want to become the ultimate package and to do that one must look at the whole picture.

There is a place in the middle; the truth very rarely resides in the extremes so that’s what we’re going to talk about today. The biological factors that come into play that most men are not aware of.

Research has actually been done to look deeper into why some women are attracted to certain guys and why some are not.

For example, Polish scientists discovered that when it comes to choosing a man, the more sexy and curvaceous a woman is the more importance she places on a man's looks.

Curvier women tend to have more estrogen and a greater maternal urge to find a partner who looks like he will produce strong babies, provide for and protect a family.

Women are wired to be attracted to certain physical traits just as they are to behavior, confidence and success. Without trying to sound barbaric you see this in nature over and over again. When it comes to mating, whether you’re talking about lions or even chimpanzees, the more powerful dominant males have more success.

The weak and more submissive males are beaten up, last to eat and many times they are almost forced to go out on their own or die. We’re not talking about animals; however, the similarities in sexual behavior are undeniable.

According to David Frederick and his team of researchers at UCLA, muscular men are likely to have more sex partners than their less-physically impressive competition. They also found that muscular men are twice as likely to have had more than three sex partners as less muscular men.

Their research suggests men with muscles are comparable to elaborate tail feathers in male peacocks: They attract females looking for a masculine mate. "Women are predisposed to prefer muscularity in men," said study author David Frederick of UCLA.

Interestingly enough there are some studies out there that say women are more concerned with how much money men make and their level of commitment. Fredrick of UCLA found that muscularity and physical characteristics actually mattered more.

In the study 141 women were asked to look at six standardized silhouettes of men ranging from more muscular to slender. “Most preferred a toned man who was more likely to commit over a muscle-bound man they perceived as more volatile, aggressive and dominant.”

So here’s the deal, women are not looking for some muscle bound maniac but rather a guy who’s in shape enough that it’s noticeable and also displays behavior consistent with commitment.

Here we are again back somewhere between the extremes. As I said before, most times we find the truth somewhere in the middle; life is about balance and it’s a man’s job to find it. He that can accomplish this will live a life to be envied and enjoyed.

So at the end of the day it’s important for us as men to learn the laws of attractiveness and the behaviors that are consistent with those laws. It’s equally important to understand certain biological factors are at play that just can’t be avoided. Women are wired to be attracted to the physical as much as the behavior and confidence you project. Take care of the mind and take care of the body.

Think about this, you may be funny, have that attractive magnetic personality but if the guy who is muscular and physically in balance does too who do you think is going to be leaving with her at the end of the night.

About the author:
Nathan Hopkins is a men’s fitness and weight loss expert. His primary focus is not only to help men feel more powerful but to look the part as well. Through his 3X Method he helps guys find the physique that women biologically cannot help but be attracted to. You can learn more about the 3X Method here…