Win Back Ex Girlfriend

The truth is that guys tend to fall into one of two ways of thinking when it comes to relationships:

1. How to get the girl
2. How to win back ex girlfriends they've lost.

Somewhere in between, we forget the rest…

But the trick to never having to win back your ex girlfriend is pretty simple, really…

Go read the article by clicking here:

How to NEVER Have to Win Back Ex Girlfriend s

Carlos Xuma answers: What really attracts women?

Men being MEN.

REAL Alpha Masculine Men.

And I'm not talking about the dated, 1950's version of men where we must be stoic and aloof and removed. What the "Alpha Man" (my term) is – as opposed to the 'alpha male' – a scientific term – is this:

1) The Alpha Man is confident in his own skin and demonstrates his inner masculine power…

This flies in the face of most of the feminist stuff you've heard over the years – or maybe you've misinterpreted from the skewed images in magazines and movies, and bad television sit-coms.

Let's face it, men are portrayed as either buffoons who need a woman to save him from his own crude, belching dumbness, or men are shown as killing machines with a bloodthirsty violent character.

As it happens, neither is what most men are.

And right now, we're just confused. THAT is what I help men cut through and clarify: Their own Alpha Masculine Identity.

2) The Alpha Man is modern and 'sensing…'

Note that I did not say "sensitive." Women have often said that they want a man that is sensitive, but what they really mean is sensitive TO HER. This is a man that is modern and in-touch with his own emotions, and he does not let those emotions RULE him.

He owns himself, and commands respect by his self-control.

And by "modern," I mean that he is a Renaissance man – educated and worldly. A man who no longer fears the risk of living his life with passion.

3) The Alpha Man is successful with women – and in every area of his life…

Ultimately, every man will measure himself by his own success with women – it's only natural. But when it's a pursuit of women to fill the hole inside himself, and it becomes an obsession, then there needs to be a course correction.

Women are most attracted to the men that are on the path to pursuing their own ambitions and goals – not women for the sake of relieving his own insecurities.

These are just a few of the areas I cover in teaching men how to attract and date beautiful QUALITY women. Guys don't need the drama and games – we just want the power to attract the women we desire.

And the way to do that is to be the Alpha Man.

Learn how to attract women by clicking here…

QUESTION: Can you avoid having to win back ex girlfriends?

I listened to your tape from the women from Denmark. I was a little surprised at your response to her.

First off, When she said she was frustrated and wanted to leave? I believe she was telling you the truth.

When a woman tells a man something is wrong, he needs to listen. That is a fundamental principle with woman in general…

Woman are emotional creatures and they need to feel understood. I think you missed it on this one.

- Craig
______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

Could I have missed something here?

Yeah, sure, it's possible.

If you didn't see this particular newsletter, here's the situation:

Girl writes to me complaining about her boyfriend being a challenge and learning my strategies.

Girl says she's frustrated and wants to leave.

I tell her that her situation is simpler than it seems. She's not seeing that she's under the influence of the GOOD kind of frustration.

It's called ATTRACTION, and it's the key that most men miss.

I knew that there needed to be some tweaks, or this guy would be writing me later asking me how to win back his ex girlfriend.

Look, I know there's a lot of self-help relationship stuff out there that tell you that you need to listen to every complaint and emotional rant a woman has. In a way, that's true. You do have to let her vent.

If you don't hear her out and get it out in the open, you will soon be asking me about how to win back your ex girlfriend.

Let her vent…

** BUT **

You do NOT get caught up in it.

90% of a woman's emotional venting is JUST THAT. Venting! It does not need to be nurtured or caressed or coddled.

You listen, hear her out, use your better judgment if it's something you might have made a mistake on, and then you handle it.

But if it's just a "general" sense of frustration, this is where guys get into "fraidy cat" territory. They get squeamish about making a woman feel flustered or frustrated because they think she will start to pull away from him because he's creating these seemingly negative emotions.

And as a result, they fall into the "Nice Guy" trap of treating every emotional blip from a woman as a serious event. (Hint: They're not.)

Women ride a very emotional roller coaster with respect to their emotional state. (The younger she is, the more true this is. The older she is, the less true.)

The biggest mistake I see Nice Guys make with women is to pay too much attention and take her emotional state way too seriously.

This is like trying to catch a cricket by running after it. Ever see a kid do this? They're always in reaction mode, running to where the cricket WAS. And then the cricket hops again just as he runs to where it WAS again.

You – as an Alpha Man – don't do this.

You manage the situation in terms of where you want the woman to GO.

YES! This is the biggest lesson a guy can learn in relationships is that you must be the one ACTING – proactively – not REacting to her.

And it works for the kid with the cricket, too. He stomps to the side of the cricket to steer the cricket towards the corner where he can get safely grab it. Or he just anticipates the cricket and goes to where it's going to jump next.

If you don't mind another metaphor here, this is how Wayne Gretzky, one of the greatest hockey players of all time, managed to do so well. He said, "Most of the guys out there are skating to where the puck is. I'm skating to where the puck WILL BE."

Absolutely BRILLIANT!

Your job as a man is to LEAD the woman to the emotional states you want to share with her. Not just HOPE that if you make her happy enough that you'll get to share HER happiness every so often when it comes up.

This is a big deal and a big difference in how guys understand their own power and leadership within the context of a relationship.

Now, yes, I realize there is a time to be sweet and caring and loving with a woman so that you can forge a strong connection and get to real intimacy.

The problem is that most guys do this in a wussy kind of way, and they don't realize that you don't want to be the "sweet caring guy" ALL the time. It kills the attraction.

I have guys writing in to me all the time asking how to win back ex girlfriend, when all they really need to do is to handle things right from the start. You see, a guy tends to only care about two situations: winning the chick when he doesn't have her, and trying to win back the same girl when he screws it up and they break up later on.

If he would have spent a little energy on creating the right power dynamic within the relationship, there would never have been a problem in the first place.

So remember, you need to know when a woman is genuinely frustrated with you over your poor behavior, or she's just verbally expressing her frustration at not being the one to run the show.

They are very different from each other.

Here's an episode of Alpha TV for you… These are my Down & Dirty Dating Tips for Guys episodes…

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Don't ever let yourself out of the house looking like these guys…

Women will cringe.

I tell you this in the best of intentions for your fashion sense.

Mistakes:
1) lumpiest ass on the planet. Don't put anything in your back pockets, gentlemen.

2) White socks.

3) K-mart sneakers.

4) White T-shirt.

5) hip holster for PDA gadget

I risked much to get you this Recon.
Use it well…