http://www.carlosxuma.com/dating-tips-for-guys-blog/flirt-with-women/some-tips-on-approaching-women/ Dating Tips For Guys - Secret attraction strategies that women do not want you to know about! Discover the 5 fatal mistakes every man makes with women. Number One: Never tell her... Fri, 09 Dec 2011 12:23:05 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= http://www.carlosxuma.com/dating-tips-for-guys-blog/flirt-with-women/some-tips-on-approaching-women/comment-page-1/#comment-10624 Bob Smith Mon, 07 Sep 2009 22:23:36 +0000 http://www.carlosxuma.com/dating-tips-for-guys-blog/?p=594#comment-10624 There a critically important concept known as "congruity". The more congruent you are, the more pieces of both your conscious and unconscious self presentation are in tight alignment. If you are highly congruent, everything sort of fits together into a harmonious whole. Many people have subtle incongruities they aren't aware of that shape what Paul Eckman call micro-communications and micro-interactions. Any time you overstate your case with excess ornamentation or behavioral artificiality you generate a subtle subtext of desperation. Sort of like, hey, dude, if you're all that and a bag of chips, why the need to try so hard ? Guys are just insecure by nature, they seem to be more genuinely affecting if they accept their insecurity as part of the natural package of who they are than hide it behind an obvious schtick, which most lines and routines come off like, for the simple reason that they are attempting to deny someone's internal reality. When people really click, fast and easy, is when both parties feel the unguarded reality of the other. There a critically important concept known as "congruity". The more congruent you are, the more pieces of both your conscious and unconscious self presentation are in tight alignment. If you are highly congruent, everything sort of fits together into a harmonious whole. Many people have subtle incongruities they aren't aware of that shape what Paul Eckman call micro-communications and micro-interactions. Any time you overstate your case with excess ornamentation or behavioral artificiality you generate a subtle subtext of desperation. Sort of like, hey, dude, if you're all that and a bag of chips, why the need to try so hard ? Guys are just insecure by nature, they seem to be more genuinely affecting if they accept their insecurity as part of the natural package of who they are than hide it behind an obvious schtick, which most lines and routines come off like, for the simple reason that they are attempting to deny someone's internal reality.
When people really click, fast and easy, is when both parties feel the unguarded reality of the other.

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