Why do women break up with men?
GUEST BLOG: Why Do Women Break Up With Men?
by Dan Donche
This is the million dollar question, and if you’ve ever been dumped you know exactly why the answer to this is so valuable. It’s because 99 times out of 100 the reasons they give you for leaving are NOT the real reason for the break-up. Either she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by telling you the real reason, or she may not even know the real reason. She only knows you don’t make her feel the same as you did in the beginning. In any case, most of the time the guy has no idea what happened.
I want to help you with that.
Essentially, there are only a few reasons why women break up with men.
- He cheated. (Doesn’t respect her.)
- He is an asshole. (Doesn’t respect her.)
- He was or became too nice. (Doesn’t respect himself.)
To keep this short, I’m not going to go over the first two. Chances are high that if you’re reading this, you fall into the third category anyway.
If a guy finds himself in a situation where he can’t figure out why she dumped him, chances are it is because of this. If you’ve ever been caught off-guard (she seems to leave you “out of the blue”), felt as though she wasn’t telling you the whole story as to “why”, or wondered what happened (especially after you did so many things because you thought it would keep her), you have fallen into this category.
The true underlying reason a woman breaks up with a guy here is because she lost attraction for him. Whatever he did in the beginning to attract her, he stopped doing over time. I can be almost certain she lost attraction for him because he sought her approval , was needy, she became more important to him than anything else in his life, or because he allowed her to get away with things because he thought it would please her.
There are a million other things guys do that fall into this category, but in short, the best way to prevent this is to be vigilant about being a man. A few tricks to keep you in the right mindset are staying focused on what you want in your own life (pursuing a purpose), having your own life (continue seeing your friends and doing exciting things), and have enough self control to not call/text/email/hang out with her all the time.
The key to preventing a breakup is to keep her attracted to you and to maintain a balance of respect between the two of you.
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CARLOS XUMA COMMENTS…
This is also the reason that guys get cheated on, too.
I realize that it's always the woman's choice to cheat, but at the same time, you have to realize that women tend toward more "passive" methods of getting their needs met. (Though, this is changing.)
This has a lot to do with the culturalization of women. (Something I discuss in more detail in my Alpha Masculinity program…)
In the end, though, we Alpha Men have to take the responsibility for all things that happen to us.
If she cheated, it can be a character flaw. In which case, it's our fault for not being more smart about our choice.
It can also be (and in most cases – IS) a situation where the man just didn't keep up his "man-up." He didn't keep the attraction going the way he should.
(You can learn more about keeping your "man up" here: Why do women break up with men…)
So what do you think?
[...] guest post I did, this one is over at Carlos Xuma's site. It's just a quick tidbit on Why Women Break Up With Men. In light of that little article, I'm going to throw a couple of other things at you, while [...]
I realize that it’s always the woman’s choice to cheat, but at the same time, you have to realize that women tend toward more “passive” methods of getting their needs met. (Though, this is changing.)
This has a lot to do with the culturalization of women.
Do you mean here that the culturisation of women is the reason why they employ more passive methods? 'Cause to that I'd say No. A wide-reaching biological rule is that "men propose, women dispose," for reasons familiar to those who've learned about Darwin's theory of sexual selection.
But I have a feeling you know this and I've just misunderstood, so could you clarify?
[...] Continued here: Carlos Xuma's Dating Tips for Guys » Why do women break up with men? [...]
[...] Carlos Xuma's Dating Tips for Guys » Why do women break up with men? [...]
When a man break up with his man, there are underlying different reasons why she did that decision and cheating is just among the reasons.
The culturalization of women is in flux, but keep in mind that women are socially conditioned to a more 'passive' frame of communication and action. Yes, women are becoming more "yang" with their communications, but the reality is that a woman's top priority is to maintain social connections. Relationships are her top priority.
This question is really two questions: one is why do women break off after checking a man out for a few dates or hang outs, and two is why do women leave longer term established relationships ?
You have to understand the "master key" question in the back of every woman's mind, the one that seems like it is the hardest for men to grasp.
"Where is this thing going" ?
If she has a first impression of a guy, that goes into her file folder called "potential", not the one called "done deal for eternity"… you may harbor the illusion that you have a done deal in your hand (meaning: you have certain unexamined beliefs about what the rules of the road might happen to be) and she may have a VERY different set of foundational beliefs that are working on an unconscious level.
Because once you've passed the initial phase of strutting your Alpha game, she going to be sizing you up on a much subtler level, generally outside of conscious awareness but powerfully directing her conscious choices.
In other words, she's now carefully parsing out the sizzle from the steak in the back of her mind. Can this guy actually function at a high level of effectiveness in the world ? Is he really emotionally intelligent or was he just a good enough actor to get his foot in the door ?
And maybe the shoe is on the other foot. Maybe she's insecure and doesn't believe she can keep up with your energy level, your degree of perfectionism, or maybe, just maybe, your ethical standards.