Just saw this article in Time. I think this is a reason so many guys have their work cut out for them, with so many parents "wussi-fying" their kids. Even their girls!
The Growing Backlash Against Overparenting
The insanity crept up on us slowly; we just wanted what was best for our kids. We bought macrobiotic cupcakes and hypoallergenic socks, hired tutors to correct a 5-year-old's "pencil-holding deficiency," hooked up broadband connections in the treehouse but took down the swing set after the second skinned knee. We hovered over every school, playground and practice field — "helicopter parents," teachers christened us, a phenomenon that spread to parents of all ages, races and regions. Stores began marketing stove-knob covers and "Kinderkords" (also known as leashes; they allow "three full feet of freedom for both you and your child") and Baby Kneepads (as if babies don't come prepadded).
The mayor of a Connecticut town agreed to chop down three hickory trees on one block after a woman worried that a stray nut might drop into her new swimming pool, where her nut-allergic grandson occasionally swam. A Texas school required parents wanting to help with the second-grade holiday party to have a background check first. Schools auctioned off the right to cut the carpool line and drop a child directly in front of the building — a spot that in other settings is known as handicapped parking.
We were so obsessed with our kids' success that parenting turned into a form of product development. Parents demanded that nursery schools offer Mandarin, since it's never too soon to prepare for the competition of a global economy. High school teachers received irate text messages from parents protesting an exam grade before class was even over; college deans described freshmen as "crispies," who arrived at college already burned out, and "teacups," who seemed ready to break at the tiniest stress.
"10 is the new 2. We're infantilizing our kids into incompetence." She celebrates seat belts and car seats and bike helmets and all the rational advances in child safety. It's the irrational responses that make her crazy, like when Dear Abby endorses the idea, as she did in August, that each morning before their kids leave the house, parents take a picture of them. That way, if they are kidnapped, the police will have a fresh photo showing what clothes they were wearing. Once the kids make it home safe and sound, you can delete the picture and take a new one the next morning.
WTF?
______________________ CARLOS COMMENTS:
Yeah, it has gone WAY overboard.
Everyone needs to relax their sphincters a little, take a deep breath and REEEEE-lax.
Your kids will do better if you let them actually EXPERIENCE the world.
Guys, I've got a few tips for you here on the use of profile pictures.
Most of the problems I see can be solved by just avoiding these mistakes. These are actual mistakes I see daily as I review my Facebook friends requests.
Do not use a picture that:
- Shows you in a serious/scary expression that you think is cool and "tough." Most of the time it's scary and off-putting – and will turn women away faster than Mike Tyson as your bouncer.
- Shows a blurred, unidentifiable blob that we must assume is you, but could be an alien tumor.
- Shows you as a 10 year old boy. Not as cute and endearing as you think. No girl wants to bump uglies with her kid brother, no matter how cute he might be.
- Shows you in a hulk-pose. You know, with that cool muscle shirt and shows off your body. If that's all you got, dude, just guess what kind of woman wants you based on that picture alone. Besides, they're still scary. You look like a potential attacker, not a potential lover.
- Shows you in a group so that we have to be freakin' Sherlock freakin' Holmes to figure out who you are.
- Shows an old, black and white photo of immigrants that makes us say "What the f***?" (Yes, I've seen these, and many other pictures that make NO sense at all. Save your clever in-jokes for somewhere else.)
- Shows you holding a red heart over your own heart. (Yep, this one's for real.) Seemingly romantic images like this make women say, "Awwww! I bet he's such a NICE guy! Yawwwwnnnnn…"
- Shows your face so close to the lens that it distorts you into something horrific and weird. STAND BACK!
- Shows kittens sleeping together. (Another real one, I'm afraid.)
- Shows you in front of a mirror taking your own picture. Totally un-clever and totally screams "I'm so lonely and socially withdrawn that I had to take my picture this way." (Almost as bad is the one-arm-taking-my-picture picture. Get someone else to hold the camera…)
- Shows some text of a scary phrase. I got one recently that said "… We are Legion, we do not forgive…" That one makes me think of all the bad things in life I don't want near me, dude.
- Shows you just standing there with your arms limp and lifeless by your side, communicating no life or energy.
- Shows you naked from the waist up (or from the waist down, now that we're talking about it…) in an attempt to lure a women with your boobies. Sorry, that noise you're hearing is the collective laughter of millions of women.
Sorry if one of these was your picture I picked on. But look at it this way, at least I helped you now, while you can still change it!
Instead, do this…
Take one good picture of you that has these elements:
- You, smiling - Dressed in hip attire - In motion or in action, doing something you enjoy - Extra points for pulling it off so that your eyes can be seen with the glint of passion in them, but you're not even looking at the camera… You were captured for a moment in time…
An Alpha Brother (thanks, Carl) sent me an article this morning. Thought I'd post these interesting stats for you guys.
Look, it's not a competition – but you need to stake your claim!
Need any more proof it's a woman's world out there?
Check this out:
• Double the number of single women are now purchasing homes in America than there are single men. • Four out of every 10 women are are now their family's primary breadwinner, a sharp increase from past decades. • The New Hampshire State Legislature is now made up of a majority of women, a first for a legislative body in the U.S., and the number of women in government continues to edge up nationwide. • Women now account for 30 percent of math Ph.D.s, up from just 5 percent in the 1960s. • On average, women read nine books every year. Men only read four, and women account for 80 percent of the U.S. fiction market. • The World Bank recently estimated that the global earning power of women will reach an estimated $18 trillion by the year 2014, up $5 trillion today.
"I'm not even trying hard... just in the last hour, I've had two women who have become very friendly with me...you are the man! Your information has radically changed the way I think... by the way I'm 48 years old, so this is really cool!"
- Sean
