Just found this great article (Thanks to Annie Gleason)

It looks like they're FINALLY starting to understand the way REAL attraction works.

You can't be indiscriminate in dating…

Read on:
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Speed Dating Study: Selectivity Is Ultimate Aphrodisiac

Speed daters who romantically desired most of their potential partners were rejected quickly and overwhelmingly, according to a new Northwestern University study.

Conventional wisdom has long taught that one of the best ways to get someone to like you is to make it clear that you like them. Now researchers have discovered that this law of reciprocity is in dire need of an asterisk in the domain of romantic attraction.

The more you tend to experience romantic desire for all the potential romantic partners you meet, the study shows, the less likely it is that they will desire you in return. (Think too desperate, too indiscriminate.)

In contrast, when you desire a potential partner above and beyond your other options, only then is your desire likely to be reciprocated. (Think hallelujah, finally, someone really gets me.)

In the past, social psychologists have had a difficult time observing initial romantic attraction in action, but the speed-dating methodology used in this study allowed the investigators to take a serious look at the chemistry that has been at the center of so much literature, art and imagination throughout the ages.

"Potential partners who seem undiscriminating are a definite turnoff, and those who evoke the magic of feeling special are a big draw," said Paul W. Eastwick, the lead author of the study and a Northwestern graduate student in psychology. "The wild part is that our speed-daters were negotiating all of these subtleties with only four minutes for each date."

"Selective vs. Unselective Romantic Desire: Not All Reciprocity is Created Equal," by Eastwick and Northwestern's Eli J. Finkel, assistant professor of psychology, will be published in the April issue of the journal Psychological Science. Also contributing to the report are Daniel Mochon and Dan Ariely of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

"How this all happens is a bit of a mystery," Finkel said. "Put yourself in the position of a speed dater. You're not only able to pick up something about the degree to which that person likes you, but you're able to pick up — in four minutes — the degree to which that person likes you more than their other dates. It's amazing."

To explore dynamics in the opening minutes of romantic attraction, the researchers set up seven speed-dating sessions for a total of 156 undergraduate students. Participants had four-minute speed dates with nine to 13 opposite-sex individuals. Immediately following each date, they completed a two-minute questionnaire, answering items such as "I really liked my interaction partner" and "I was sexually attracted to my interaction partner."

After returning home, they recorded on the study Web site whether they would be interested in meeting each person they had speed-dated again in the future. Mutual "yeses" were given the ability to contact one another.

"People who like everyone, unlike in a friendship context where they generally are liked in return, may exude desperation in a romantic context," Finkel said.

"It suggests to us that romantic desire comes in two distinct flavors: selective and unselective," Eastwick added. "If your goal is to get someone to notice you, the unselective flavor is going to fail, and fast."
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CARLOS XUMA COMMENTS:

Well, duh! Isn't it about time someone observed this in action and figured it out.

If you're too desperate, she won't be interested.

So the key is to be likable and like others unselectively – in friendships.

You need to QUALIFY when you do it in dating.

Want to learn more?

How To Be The Bad Boy Women Love…

Hi Carlos–im a really good looking guy and i cant get a date b/c girls think im a player..what steps should a really good looking guy take to get past a womens defense shield and land a phone no. and a date?

tks,
Brian
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CARLOS XUMA COMMENTS:

Here's the reality, guys…

Good looking guys have it tough.

And I'm not being sarcastic.

Women have their guard up with guys that "look" like they get other women.

She want's to know that a guy is cool and confident on the inside first. Her first suspicion is that you will use her for sex. (On an instinctual level.) So she has to qualify you.

Now your question about the steps you should take I've addressed before and in my Get a Girlfriend program.

Just remember, Brian, that attraction in women is triggered at an EMOTIONAL level. NOT a rational/logical level.

You could spend the rest of your life trying to PROVE to a woman that you're someone she should want (and some guys have), or you can demonstrate the right Alpha characteristics for it and get the real results you're looking for…