I just got this email in my facebook account, and I thought I'd share it with you…

First read his email, then my comments below:

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Sex is a very, very low life achievement. Sex with hundreds of "hot" women is not impressive. It is a sign of a personal project to compensate for unresolved psychological events.

The need to have "success" with visually-attractive women is low self-esteem and highly superficial. In fact, the entire project of pickup is a superficial attempt to reclaim lost self-esteem and the very fact that it is superficial is what dooms it to produce low self-esteem. Superficiality and low self-esteem go hand-in-hand, but many men can see past the forced, pouty facial expressions of supermodels to see that. Seeking sex in bars is superficial. Seeking superficial produces low self-esteem.

There is no such thing as "women skills", only previously undeveloped social skills because of childhood bullying, too much time spent on the computer, or societal interference (e.g. Axe Body Spray advertisements that fuel the hype around sex or childhood peers who value it to an absurd degree).

Because guys in pickup improved their social skills and developed methods to do so, they thought that "women skills" exist. They don't. Men and women, before hypermaterialism, knew how to relate to each other naturally and no biological conjecture is needed to see that or make that recur.

Take care of social skills, self-esteem, and self-confidence. Then you won't be afraid of women. Then you won't need their sex. Then you can move onto higher things.

The obstacle to the entire pickup community to doing this is the sense of community it has formed. Many guys have formed friendships and improved their lives in ways they couldn't have otherwise. To them, isn't leaving pickup also leaving their best chance at a stable social life? Also, the strategies are very stimulating to the point of addiction. For most guys who get into pickup, spinning strategies and tactics can feel like endless fun and for some it becomes a drug. For nearly all pickup instructors, it is a drug and they cannot easily leave it.

But pickup is a dead-end, morally. It has conflicting aims: "get sex as much as possible" and "self-improve". At some point those two goals start interfering with each other and all that's left is mountains of artificial, sophisticated mind programs that attempt to compensate for a complicated psychological history through promiscuity.

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CARLOS XUMA COMMENTS:

Well, first of all, I'm not a pickup artist. Never have been.

What I do is help men finally get the women they desire without having to change or turn into a manipulative jerk.

But I do agree that just chasing women for the sake of sex is empty. Hell, I did it for MANY years.

But herein lies the rub: It's a necessary mistake.

What do I mean by that?

Well, simply put, I can TELL you all I want that chasing women for the sake of satisfying your need to get your willie wet is a dead-end. But you know what? For the guy that needs to get some, and he's hurting for it, he's got to make that mistake on his own to really emotionally learn that lesson. I can never really talk him down and teach that to him verbally. It's the big mistake that a lot of book authors and other "gurus" make out there.

There are simply some lessons that you can't teach. They MUST be learned.

Now, here's the other thing about sex and guys that is often lost in translation:

For a guy who isn't getting the women he wants, he wants a lot of women. But this same guy also just wants ONE good woman. There are VERY FEW men who get better skills with women and then become raging sex maniac players that just run around banging chicks left and right.

Most men don't want a bunch of women. Most guys want ONE GOOD WOMAN. The problem is that in order to find her, you must have the skills to get a bunch of women.

Let's not get caught up in that false-morality trap of "sex is bad" and "guys who want sex with women are all players and Bad Men."

Sex is great. Go have a bunch. Don't hurt other people in the process, and just go have fun.

Learn your own lessons along the way. The way we sometimes need to.

One thing – Alex said: "Because guys in pickup improved their social skills and developed methods to do so, they thought that "women skills" exist. They don't."

I disagree.

Skills with women DO exist. They are specific and different than social skills.

BUT – all skills with women are built on a foundation of social skills. (That's why I created THIS.)

So while there are some great points in this (which, by the way, I've already been teaching guys for years), there are also some big traps in this kind of judgmental thinking that you have to avoid. It's tempting to label the "community" as all bad…

As Shakespeare once said – "There is no good or bad, but thinking makes it so…"

Use what we teach for your own betterment. That's what I did to get myself to where I am in life.

What do you think? Show me you're alive and post a comment…

There's been a lot of publicity about "pickup artists" and how to be a pickup artist over the last few years. Ever since Neil Strauss' book The Game hit the best seller lists, guys everywhere want to know how to be a pickup artist.

Well, I'm going to explain the three steps you can take to be a pickup artist. And not only attract women like a pickup artist – but beat him at his own game.

Why would you want to do more than just be a pickup artist?

Consider this: What you learn from a pickup artist is how to IMITATE the behaviors of a guy who knows how to attract women. What you will discover with this method is how to BE the man who attracts women – with no acting or sneaky tricks or manipulation. So why would you settle for being an actor when you can be the REAL deal?

How to be a pickup artist – Strategy #1: Avoid the "Identity" of the pickup artist…

What I mean by this is that there is nothing wrong with learning to improve your skills with women. In fact, it's probably one of the noblest things a man can do. This creates a "win-win" situation where you get to date the attractive women you meet, and she gets a man who understands what women want in a man – and he gives it to her.

But there is a trap that some guys fall into of buying all the cool pickup artists clothes, and using all the same pickup artist openers that women have all heard by now. They imagine the pickup artist like some kind of superhero with super powers that they can become at will.

I have to tell you right now that I can spot these guys a mile away, and so can women. Unfortunately, most guys want this success with women so desperately that they jump head-first right into the role of the pickup artist. They end up looking like they're trying too hard – and that is actually one of the big mistakes.

The most effective pickup artist is the one that isn't making this a whole costume party and identity makeover. He knows that in order to really attract hot women, you have to fly UNDER her radar by just being yourself – but with a pickup artist sensibility that understands how the game is played – and won.

How to be a pickup artist – Strategy #2: Being a true pickup artist means you have no switch…

This technique is related to the last one. When guys try to be this ultimate pickup artist, they start to imagine that this skill of attracting women is something they can turn off and on at will. In fact, if you try to do this, you will cause even more damage to your confidence over the long run.

Here's what happens…

If you imagine that you have this "other" identity of a pickup artist that you "turn on" when you need it, this only reinforces to your subconscious mind that you are usually NOT this guy. In other words, you are programming yourself to believe that you are not naturally attractive to women, and for you to do this, you have to change into your pickup artist alter-ego.

Because what happens most of the time is that you simply don't want to use the canned material and have to fight your own fear and reluctance to approach and meet women. The secret to being a true pickup artist is not trying to switch this off and on at will. The true pickup artist doesn't see himself as an "approacher" only when he gets himself into the role. He's a pickup artist 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

When you make the pickup artist become YOU (instead of the other way around) – you realize that you can be yourself without any manipulative games AND be attractive to women. And when you understand how this works, you'll also feel more comfortable with yourself. Because if there's anything that turns off a woman more it's a guy that's trying to NOT be himself.

She will smell your deception.

How to be a pickup artist – Strategy #3: Avoid the pickup artist "get" mentality…

If there's one element that will get you more success with women than you know what to do with, it's getting tricked into thinking that the pickup artist game is a "get" game. As in, how to GET more from women. After all, aren't they the ones that are trying to keep you from GETTING what you want?

GETTING a phone number…

GETTING a kiss…

GETTING a date…

GETTING intimate with her…

It all seems like a big game of trying to sneak and trick your way into getting your goals. But the reality is that dating hot women and being an honorable pickup artist is all about the GIVE. No, I'm not talking about the giving of favors in exchange for hers, like buying drinks and dinner in the hopes that she will give you some.

What I'm talking about is GIVING her a fun time…

GIVING her a moment of escape from her boring life…

GIVING her an intelligent and masculine man – not just a pickup artist – that can turn her inner furnace up to the boiling point.

The next time you're in a conversation with a woman and you're wondering how to talk to women so they will respond to you, just forget about what you think you're there to GET from her. Instead, just give her a moment where she can feel good about herself, and you'll find that this is 90% of the pickup artist game. (And you don't even have to BE a pickup artist to win it!)

Give her a sincere compliment… And also give her a little tease to let her know you aren't intimidated and emasculated by women.

And you'll succeed in becoming the kind of pickup artist that most women never meet - a genuine and powerful Alpha Man.

Look, the other gurus out there will teach you the superficial parts of how to be a pickup artist. They can only teach you the empty techniques of how to attract women. They will give you pickup lines to use and pickup artist routines you can memorize – but it will always be empty and awkward for you to use. You'll always feel like you're "not being yourself" around women, and it will feel unnatural.

Instead of being a fake pickup artist, you can be the kind of man that pickup artists only wish they could be – the authentic man that women desire most of all. And you'll never have to settle for the label of a pickup artist when you seduce more than attractive women – you will get the respect – and maybe just a little envy – from your buddies and peers.

And if you want to get the complete roadmap of how to go from home alone to how to meet and attract the sexy girlfriend of your dreams, then you need to learn how to talk to women with my home study program. It's fast, easy, and guaranteed to get you from no women to wherever you want to be in just a few weeks.

Date as many women as you want – for as long as YOU want.

It's up to you…

Go download your copy here: How to Talk To Women – FAST & EASY

Talk soon…

Wishing you confidence and success with women – With HONOR and integrity.

PS: You might be reading this right now, just happy to be entertained with the information I'm sharing. But I want more than this for you.

I want you to get REAL results with women.

Stop pretending everything is "fine."

Stop walking away from situations that make you nervous – like approaching a woman, or asking her out.

Stop letting the outside world stop you from being the man you want to be…

Really, the time for denial and mediocrity is over.

Make a decision that today is the day things will change forever for you.

Go here now and learn how to make that change:

CLICK HERE: How to Talk To Women

My friend Robert Martin has posted a series of ten free videos on his blog, all designed to teach you how to kick start your fitness and fat burning into high gear and get your body “bathing suit ready” – fast.

This guy not only knows what he’s talking about, but he walks the walk too.

When was the last time you saw someone 60 years old nail a rock solid handstand? Check it out here on the April 13 blog entry.

Man, I hope I'm half as fit at his age…

After you check out his free videos, click through to his web site for more great free information and videos, and pick up your DVDs loaded with four hours of solid tips and techniques, and workouts you can do right along with Robert. I highly recommend his system to get yourself in kick butt shape fast.

(In fact, you'll see there’s even a testimonial from me on his web site… I love his stuff and got his program almost two years ago…)

Stop blowing your money on expensive gym memberships that don’t give you the results you want. Check out Robert's program – CLICK HERE…

Talk soon…

Your friend,

Carlos Xuma

PS: I'm not sure when he's taking these videos down, so you should go take a look as soon as you can. There's some great stuff in there.

Click here now: Look Great Naked At Any Age

I love this clip. This is how you look at life. And how a man deals with it.

Subject: A fellow brother

Hey carlos, I read your newsletters and I share your view of girls, and inner game

I needed to ask you a question…

when " in your normal life" how do you personally act, are you the cool dude? or the pua at all times?

thanks

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CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

Well, I'm going to assume that when you say "how do YOU" you mean ME, right?

The beauty of what I teach is that I'm not going to teach you how to be different than who you are.

In fact, I'm not a "PUA" or "pick up artist."

I'm just a guy who took a lot of time figuring out how guys can improve their success with women by using some very fast and easy techniques for building attraction.

Now me personally, I figured out something a while back – and this applies to ALL men:

If you're trying to BE something other than you, it will come off hollow and phony. And you'll be undermining your sense of self-esteem by sending yourself the message that YOU are not enough.

So in answer to your question, I'm always ME. But I'm the more interesting version of ME from learning how to present myself and unleash the parts of me women want to see.

As Doc Holliday said to Wyatt Earp in "Tombstone": There is no 'normal' life. There's just LIFE.

My life is never "normal," but it's always MY life. Fun, unforgettable.

That's the way I want YOUR life to be.

If you want more information on how to unleash the REAL you to the world and be the kind of guy that women want, then you owe it to yourself to look at this:

The Secrets of Ultimate Inner Game – Confidence With Women

"Follow the path of the unsafe, independent thinker. Expose your ideas to the dangers of controversy. Speak your mind and fear less the label of 'crackpot' than the stigma of conformity. And on issues that seem important to you, stand up and be counted at any cost."

— Thomas J. Watson