How to Meet Women
When it comes to learning the Art of Attraction, nothing is more important than knowing how to meet women.
Whether you're in a bar, a coffee shop, online dating, or at a friend's party, if you see an attractive woman you want to meet, you need the right skills to start things up.
In this article, you can learn the 3 ways to meet women, and how to not make the BIG MISTAKES most guys make when they meet women.
Go here to read the article:
http://www.carlosxuma.com/seductiontechniques/meet-women.php
Here's an interesting story. It was sent to me by a reader who suggested that banter can go too far. Well, I'd like to go along with that, but it's just not the way to look at this situation. Men don't need any more reasons to fear women. Incidents like this are few and far in between. (Though, I'm wondering if the person in question would have had a longer sentence if the genders were reversed?)
See my comments at the end…
Model who left student scarred for life in glassing attack is jailed for two years
A former model who smashed a glass in a student’s face, leaving him with horrific lifelong scars, has been jailed.
Drunk air stewardess Lisa Kee hit Liam Sharratt twice with the glass, dragging it down his face and wounding him in five places.
Kee, who lashed out when a flirtatious conversation turned sour, was jailed for two and a half years at Manchester Crown Court yesterday. She was dragged screaming into custody.
PhD student Liam Sharratt was scarred for life after Lisa Kee smashed a glass into his face during a drunken night out
Mr Sharratt, who was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder after the attack, said it had shattered his confidence and he was still struggling to come to terms with its effects.
Kee, 29, from Stockport, approached Mr Sharratt, 26, a PhD student, and his friends in The Living Room bar in Manchester city centre in November 2007.
The court heard she was drunk, with a ‘red wine moustache’ and carrying a full glass of wine as she began to exchange ‘good-humoured’ banter.
But witnesses had described how Mr Sharratt jokingly called her a ‘slag’ and the conversation turned ugly with Kee asking him: ‘Who do you think you are?’
Air stewardess and ex model Lisa Kee was jailed for two and a half years for the attack
She threw wine over him and when he laughed she became enraged and punched him in the head.
He laughed again and she hit him twice in the face with her wine glass. One cut was so deep that when the victim breathed, his cheek opened up.
Speaking after the sentencing, Mr Sharratt said: ‘I just remember her being very lecherous and provocative, coming over to a predominantly male group.
‘There have been times when I’ve been very drunk but I’m always in control enough to walk away.
‘I used to be very outgoing but this shattered my confidence. I have taught in front of 200 people and I loved it but I can’t do that any more.
‘It’s not just that people look at my scar and I have to relive the attack every time someone asks how I got it, but it took my inner confidence.’
Mr Sharratt, who had to delay completion of his studies following the attack, added: ‘In my opinion, the worst thing someone can do to another person is inflict something on them that they have no control over.
‘You change that person’s life forever.
‘I’m glad she’s gone to prison but she gets her life back in a couple of years while I have to live with this forever.’
Judge Martin Rudland told Kee, who was crying in the dock, she had drunk too much and ‘lost all control’.
He said that when banter turned ugly, her reaction was ‘excessive, disproportionate and inappropriate’.
He said: ‘This was a vicious and wholly unwarranted attack and you know what you have done and you know the enormity of what you have done and the effects which will continue to be a blight on Mr Sharratt every time he looks in the mirror.’
She was ordered to serve at least half of her sentence after admitting a charge of unlawful wounding.
Simon Csoka, defending, said his client was depressed prior to the offence and could scarcely believe what she had done.
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CARLOS XUMA HAS A REALITY CHECK:
So if a person is depressed, that means it's okay to slash up a guy's face? Interesting how people pull complete garbage out of their butt to save themselves.
Forget putting her in jail. Put her to work, and garnish her wages to pay for Liam's plastic surgery. THAT is what reparations are all about.
Also interesting is that they chose this bikini photo of Lisa as her picture. What, did they think we'd say, "Oh, it's not so bad. She's kinda hot…"
Look, guys, I've had a drunk chick smash a glass over my head in a club just because she didn't like me pushing back when she danced all over the back of my legs. I bled profusely from the wound. And interestingly, not one of the staff of the bar wanted anything to do with me or my injury.
What needs to be done is replace glass with plastic for the childishly impaired women (and men) who think it's okay to lash out and have an infantile temper tantrum. Maybe a sippy-cup would be better. 
I don't pretend that my cut was anywhere as bad as what poor Liam had, but no matter what, I'll never fear reprisal for being social and enjoying myself.
I'm just on a raised alert around drunk chicks.
Stories like this can play on your sympathy and fear, or they can waken you up to more truth.
Never interpret in terms of fear.
Especially fear of women.
Hopefully LIsa learns her lesson – and Liam takes his misfortune and turns it into gold. Chicks dig scars, right? That story could be worked to incredible positive advantage for many many years.
Hey, Liam. I'm not poking fun. I just won't pity you.
And hopefully you won't either, brother.
What's done is done, and now it's time to turn this into your power and strength.
And what's the lesson for other guys here?
Forget the fear – just live your life full-throttle forward.
Caution, yes – Fear, NO.
SPECIAL REPORT: The Ways Guys Can Attract Girls
I'm asked a lot about the whole "Nice Guy" versus the "Jerk" or the "Bad Boy…"
I decided to create a newsletter this week that hits this topic on the head. AND explains the THREE Ways guys can attract girls – and which one you want to use!
Ways Guys Can Attract Girls – And The Secret about why women don't like the "nice guy…"
Carlos Xuma
SPECIAL REPORT: The Secret Ingredient of PICK UP LINES…
So why do guys use pick up lines?
I've been studying this curious mating ritual for over 10 years
now, and I finally understood the reasons why guys want to use them.
Pickup lines are the equivalent of a knock-knock joke.
1) She feels obligated to answer, even though she knows what's coming…
2) She knows something dumb is coming after you answer…
3) She's forced to give you a small amount of polite attention after you're done…
4) She's going to get away from you as soon as humanly possible after you're done telling it…
Truthfully, that small amount of polite attention isn't even necessary anymore. She could just walk away from a dumb pick up line.
Who'd blame her?
Now, pickup lines come in two flavors:
Pickup Line 1 = The funny pickup line that you look up, seriously wanting something to say when you approach a woman, but knowing you'll NEVER use it…
Pickup Line 2 = The REAL pickup line that you want to just start a conversation.
Again, most guys use a line because…
To find out more about the missing ingredient that most guys miss, read the rest here:
Pick Up Lines – The Missing Ingredient
Carlos Xuma
PS: In this newsletter report, I also give you several great conversation openers, as well as my "personalization" technique to getting your opener to work every time…
Go read the report here right now:
Pick Up Lines – The Missing Ingredient
QUESTION:
I like the idea of meeting the less attractive chicks with a huge social circle of hot chicks. Whats your success rate like?
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CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:
This is an effective strategy, but you have to watch out for something that most guys aren't aware of.
Women are very conscious of status and appearances. We all are, actually.
We know when we see someone dating or working for the "less attractive" people, and it colors our perception of them. Sometimes on a level that we're not willing to admit.
I don't condone classifying people, but the reality is that this is something everyone does. We judge, we compare, and we do all the dark psychological evaluations you can imagine. And it's all done under the pretense of "rational" thinking.
So if you're talking about just approaching the "not as cute" girls to get to know their friends, sure, that works like a charm.
The funny thing is that the women I approach that may not be "10"s usually end up being more interesting, fun, and attractive on other levels.
Hmmm….
What To Talk About With Women – Free video training for you…
Have you ever been talking with a bunch of guys, shooting the breeze, and all of a sudden a woman joins your group, and the vibe of the conversation changes COMPLETELY?
It’s like someone just threw a wrench into the gears. Suddenly the subject changes, and you hear a record scratch in the background.
Now all of a sudden you start censoring yourself and talking the way you think you “should” around a woman.
I remember when I would walk up to a group of girls and feel my mind freezing up on me like a puddle in winter. My mind would just go completely blank.
Now, there’s a secret here that I’m going to reveal to you in this newsletter that will help you talk to women with much more calm confidence – once you understand a hidden desire that women have.
I want to tell you something about my childhood first…
Don’t worry, we’re not getting in touch with our “inner child” or anything like that.
You see, I when I was a kid, I liked to hang around girls…
Sure, I had a lot of guy friends, but I also spent a LOT of time hanging around groups of girls whenever I could.
Yeah, I got teased about it a lot, but I had a feeling these girls were going to be the next big thing in a few years, and I wanted to start researching this trend right away.
The cool thing about having spent so much time around them was that I learned just how girls think and communicate. I started to understand what it was that women wanted in their conversations.
This one thing – this hidden ingredient – was something that guys were missing in almost every conversation they had with a woman.
What is this missing part?
Well, there was an old joke that we used to have when I was doing project management for big corporations. They would call us in to do a big project plan. And then we joked that it would look like this:
Step 1) Begin project to install new system
Step 2) *** A miracle happens ***
Step 3) Project success!
Well, obviously step 2 is where most people just smile, close their eyes, and go into their ‘happy place.’ (It’s this kind of wishful thinking that has led us to problems in our economy as well as the environment.)
Well, this “miracle happens” thinking has led me to realize just how many guys are making a really BIG error in their logic with women…
You see most guys have this concept of how conversation works with women:
Step 1) Start conversation
Step 2) ??? A miracle happens ???
Step 3) Get a date.
Step 2 is that ‘mystery step’ where ‘a miracle happens’ and she just instantly finds you interesting enough to want to go on a date with you.
This is a little like thinking that someone is going to want to buy a car without experiencing sitting in it, or test driving it out on the open road. Not many people “mail order” their cars.
The secret desire that women have that will help you fill in the blank between “Walk up to woman” and “get her phone number” is actually VERY simple.
And it’s not a miracle, either.
It is…
EMOTION.
Sometimes known as: DRAMA.
But not the BAD kind of drama. It’s the GOOD kind.
You see “drama” that a woman wants just means emotional ENERGY.
Ever had a dish of spaghetti where someone just dumped a plain bottle of tomato sauce on it? My grandma used to make it this way, and it was really boring.
Now, throw in a little garlic, onions, basil, and a bit of red pepper and now you’ve got yourself a spicy meat-a-ball!
It’s the same thing with conversations. Emotional energy is what gives spice to a conversation for a woman.
The good news is that there is a reliable set of strategies that I want to show you that build that kind of energy women are looking for in conversation.
And I want to teach them to you for FREE.
Not only that, but I want to teach you some of my conversation techniques (inner and outer game) that will work for you in just about ANY situation – talking with friends, co-workers, family, women – whoever.
In the first video, you’re going to learn:
- The one hidden element of powerful conversation that you cannot create – you can only *discover*…
- The REAL reason a woman puts you into the “friends only” category…
- Why you never want to “flip” – or BE flipped…
- What the dating “program” is – and how to stop running this program before it crashes your system…
- Much more…
Go watch the video here: "How to Talk to Women" training video…
Oh, and I hope you’ll forgive me for the last 60 seconds of this video. I had to cut loose and have some fun. Some videos can be really boring, so I thought I’d throw in a little something different for you rockers out there…
And be sure to watch your email over the next few days. I’ve got about 90 minutes of great videos to share with you that are going to change your conversation game for good…
Go here right now to see my conversation inner game video:
"How to Talk to Women" training video here…
Your friend,
Carlos Xuma
PS: I’ll tell you a little secret: When a woman jumps into a “guy conversation” alone, she is secretly hoping she can get away with talking trash just like the guys do.
If you ever get a woman on her own with a group of guys, she will very likely drop her “angel” act and tell you things that would shock you…
Women have a secret desire to break free of this “pure as the driven snow” image and have a little dirty fun. That’s one of the things they love about guys – it’s that we’re more in touch with our sense of dumb and simple fun…
Learn more in my "How to Talk to Women" training video here…
Hey Carlos, I hope you are fine my Alpha Brother. I am planning to buy your Ultimate Inner Game program by the end of January. I simply can't wait. My inner game has improved ever since I got into your community and the more information I get from you the more better my inner game gets.
I have no problems talking to women anywhere now and I have more confidence and feel better about myself. I definitely get more women in my life now compared to the the past. However I have a question to ask you:
How do you attract escort girls?
I saw a hot escort on the net and I wanted to meet her, for the sex ofcourse but my main goal was to try and attract her (so she wouldn't charge me any money and do it more often probably lol). When I used sense of humour she was laughing but I couldn't tell if it was out of politeness as I was her client or wether it was genuine.
I obviously was confident (I could tell that because I wasn't nervous). About self-control well this could be a paradox but I did not show her I was needy when we met. She was all nice and everything but I just couldn't seduce her. She wasn't willing to talk about herself and seemed to be very distant even after I tried my best to make her comfortable.
Does seducing escort girls and strippers require a different game?
R. in the UK
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CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:
Thanks for the kudos on the program… I think a LOT of guys are going to dig this new one. Primarily because you understand that I teach REAL inner game growth, not hokey new age mind tricks.
Now, as far as your situation, I'd beware of courting women in that field of work. She's there for a reason, and it's not usually a healthy one.
Stick to the women that are going to provide you with the better return on investment…
Even if you're not interested in a long-term relationship, you should still stick with the more "grounded" women.
As far as seducing strippers, it really only requires that you have more solid game and you're able to see past their lifestyle to what they really need and want. Most guys just think they're going to "pickup" a woman in this field with "pickup" routines – or their handy dandy "stripper seduction manual."
Keep in mind that in that field, she's got freaks and geeks galore paying money for her to give them the illusion.
That's what a man is buying with his money.
The fantasy.
And also remember that your best bet is always in going after the QUALITY women. And not just quality – you also want AVAILABLE women.
As you're figuring out, these women are trained to stay disconnected from her clients. It's her best survival strategy, and that doesn't leave much room for you in her lifestyle.
Don't go to bat in a game where you already have 2 strikes against you, and the pitcher is sending you a curveball at 130 miles per hour.
Make sense?
Here's an interesting article I found that sheds some new "social research" light on why men take risks.
Not terribly new, if you ask me, but it is interesting that there is consistent information like this out there, and we all still rationalize our behavior for other reasons.
If there's one thing to remember, it's this: You don't do things for the reasons you think you do…
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Men make up four-fifths of the world's skydivers and two-thirds of all rock climbers, and a new study suggests they do it for more than just the thrill.
Men may flirt with risk because they think it will help them score women
Evolutionary psychologists have long believed that women are choosier about men than men are about women. It's not (just) because girls want to make life difficult for guys; it's because, at least historically, women have had to pick men who could provide for them and their children. This pressure forces males to work harder to prove their worth to females and out-compete other guys in the running. Social psychologists at Florida State University wondered: could risk-taking be one of the ways in which men show off their strength, ambition and confidence to potential lovers?
To find out, they asked 134 undergraduate male and female psychology students to participate in an experiment. They wanted to see whether men would take more risks if they were "in the mood" and if the men thought there were beautiful women around for them to woo.
The researchers showed students pictures of either 10 attractive or 10 unattractive faces of the opposite sex. Then they asked the subjects how sexually motivated they felt — that is, how interested they were in finding new sexual partners. One-by-one, each of the students then played a succession of 11 rigged blackjack hands; since the researchers knew what cards the participants had, and all were given the same cards, the scientists could compare how the subjects played each hand. (Asking for a "hit" indicated a risky move, since the player risked going over 21, while "staying" was considered safe.)
Finally, after the game, the researchers tested the students' memories for the faces they had seen before the game.
The men were much more likely to take blackjack risks if they were sexually motivated and had seen images of beautiful women before they played. The guys were also more likely to take risks if they saw attractive female faces and remembered them afterwards — even if they weren't looking for a new partner — perhaps because the faces made more of an impression on them and ramped up their sexual desire. The behavior of the female students, however, wasn't affected by what they felt, saw, or remembered.
"The bottom line is that risk-taking can be a tool that men use to show potential mates that they have desirable qualities such as confidence or ambition," said study co-author Michael Baker, a doctoral student in social psychology at Florida State.
Interestingly, the study found that guys who saw attractive faces but weren't sexually motivated did not take more risks than guys who saw unattractive faces. Baker speculates that guys only take risks if they stand to benefit from them, because risk-taking does come with a cost — after all, a bad skydiving or rock climbing experience could keep a guy from reproducing ever again.
"If men are not motivated to pursue a mate or there are no potential mates present, then the potential benefits of a risky display are less likely to outweigh the potential costs," Baker told LiveScience.
In other words, if a guy doesn't really want a new relationship, then his safest bet may be just to stay home and watch football.
QUESTION ABOUT "DIFFICULT WOMEN":
What should I do now? You know I've been 'cocky and funny' with girls, but some of them imitate this trait and after awhile you both are in challenge!
I dont know what to do with these tough girls. How can I overcome and take her to bed. It seems to be a challenge going nowhere.
Regards
F.P., Montclaire
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CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:
Have you ever had this happen to YOU?
You've been reading your daily dose of dating advice on the Internet that tells you to be "cocky" and "funny" with a woman, and then you go out and USE that clever line on a woman… and something unexpected happens.
For example, she asks you "So what do you do for a living?"
And you say, "I'm an ass model for Calvin Klein underwear… But don't let me see you checking out my butt – off limits, honey…"
And instead of the hysterical laughter you thought you'd get, she gives you a "huh?" expression, like she's thinking, "Oh, is that so?"
And then she says, "Well, ass model, I guess you're not finding a lot of work with that, huh? That's okay, you can get cheaper drinks around the corner at the dive bar."
And then you feel humbled, but you stick in the game with her…
"Yeah, well… uh, haha… Yeah, ever since I got my butt implants taken out, I've had to settle for being Brad Pitt's ass stand in. You probably saw me in 'Legends of the Butt.'"
She says, "You sure that wasn't Anthony Hopkins' butt? Probably closer to it…"
Then you start feeling a bit warm under the collar, and you wonder if your face is starting to turn red. Did someone just turn up the heat in here?
Yeah.
SHE did.
You know why she's challenging you and being cocky and funny right back like this?
Let me tell you…
(Oh, and this is something that maybe one guy in a HUNDRED even knows.)
Look, I'll be the first guy to tell you that I've used that 'cocky & funny' routine a hundred times with women. Sometimes it works like a champ, and it's a SWEET technique to use.
But it's ultimately just another smoke screen that women see as "oh, no… here's another one of those pickup guys again…"
Stay with me here…
The reason a woman challenges you like this is because she doesn't buy your "I'm cocky and I'm a confident guy" routine.
She sees right through it and knows it's an ACT.
Sometimes she'll be difficult like this just to play along and have fun with you, but more often than not, she's really flaunting it in your face that she thinks you're just putting her on.
And she knows that if she just pushes it long enough, you'll cave in and start to crumble like a wet taco.
And that is when the sexual tension completely evaporates. You got into a battle of escalation with her, and you couldn't stay in the game.
I got into one of these with a SMOKING hot blonde at a Christmas party about 3 years ago. I have to give this woman credit – she was sharper than average, which I'm sure has led her to believe that she could out-game any guy out there she needed to.
Just a few years earlier, I would have been all jello with her and not had the slightest clue that I needed to keep the teasing up. Luckily I had been working on my inner game and I stayed right in there with her.
(I'm going to reveal what I said that got her to wave the white flag and surrender in just a second…)
Hot women toy with guys like this, not because they're mean spirited and want to stomp your ego into the gutter.
It's sport. Pure and simple.
The reality is that it's survival of the fittest out there, and she's got to know you're fit. ANY guy can memorize a few clever one-liners, but she knows that if she keeps playing with you, she'll know what you're worth.
The sad fact is that she's not laughing nearly as much WITH you as she is laughing AT you.
Especially when she sees that she's starting to win.
So you want to know what my all-purpose killer line that got that blonde to finally cave?
I said this:
"You know, this banter is pretty fun… Still, I'm wondering if you're just another one of those California blonde girls – or if you've got something else going on in there. I suspect you do… I'd like to know what it is."
BOOM.
Her expression changed in a heartbeat.
And it wasn't because of the words I said (*though, you're welcome to use them.)
It was because I said it with such a heartfelt sincerity that she could tell that I WANTED to care about her, but I needed her help in seeing why I should.
From that moment on, she became putty in my hands. I'd flipped the tables on her and put her on the stage to qualify herself to ME.
If I'd just kept up the witty banter thing, that would have gotten old. And eventually – even if I was the one with the stronger reality – she would have just felt like I was in competition with her.
Instead, I dropped the ping-pong match of "who can be funnier and wittier" and got her to get REAL with me. Drop her mask.
Be vulnerable.
The effect this has on women, by the way, is DEVASTATING…
Remember, the reality for an Alpha Man is that he's never dealing with a "tough girl." If she's tough, it's because she's putting on a front or a pretense.
I did the same thing with a woman in Vegas when I held my Alpha Immersion Seminar.
We were in the Hard Rock at the bar, and I saw this Latin woman with a gold necklace with a pendant shaped like a gun. I saw that and I knew it was "Game on!"
I went over and said hello, and then I asked her why she wore that necklace. She said it was because she hung out with some tough guys. (The guys she was with were wusses, I could see that.)
I told her this was an act. She wasn't tough. Underneath this 'tough girl' exterior, she was just another woman who needed the love of a good man.
Another of her guy friends (probably the one buying her drinks in the hopes that she will start liking him eventually) chimed in with, "No, man, she is a tough girl. You don't know her."
But I did, you see.
I know ALL women just by virtue of knowing how they think, and what they want.
All you have to do is break them down past their silly defense mechanisms and you get down to their soft centers. Yup, just like M&Ms.
If you want more information on the REAL attraction skills of a genuine Alpha Man – and that beats the "pickup artists" every single time….
Go learn the Secrets….. CLICK HERE…
How to Seduce Women – Seduction Techniques
SEDUCTION.
This is one of the words I've tried to stay away from. I also don't like talking about "seduction techniques" either.
Why?
Mostly because I always felt that "seduction" had a bad meaning underneath it. It sounds like sneakiness and angry male behavior, honestly.
And I've also never felt that learning "seduction" or "seduction techniques" is what men REALLY wanted.
But then I came to a realization…
The first is that most guys are actually very ethical about pursuing women. We're not trying to harm or manipulate women, even when we're talking about 'seducing' women.
We really do want to please women – and ourselves – by being the kind of confident man she wants. We all feel validation when a girl likes us back. It's what we all want.
And when a guy wants to know how to seduce women, he's actually talking about the same things I teach, but we're just using different words.
You see, when guys want to learn a seduction technique, they're not really talking about "seduction" at all…
They're talking about…
Read the rest of the article here:
How to Seduce Women – Seduction Techniques
Your friend,
Carlos
