Developing these traits, which I call the Three S’s is the first step in attracting women, but there are other important personality aspects that will only help increase a woman’s interest, desire, and attraction to men.

There are some other characteristics that will help men become true alpha males, improve their game with women, and generally, make their lives better off overall.

Here are a few of those tips. Notice that most of these tips and techniques have to do with how you view yourself and what you can do to make yourself more attractive to women:

Attract Women Confidence Tips:

1. Attitude. To be successful in the dating arena, men need to take a long, hard look at their attitude. This means the way they project their self-confidence to others. Having the right attitude can mean the difference between success and failure in almost any endeavor.

What comes into your world, what happens to you in other words, matters much less, than how you react to it? This is your attitude.

2. Unconcern. People who are extremely successful tend to share this one common trait: they don’t really care what anyone else thinks about them. They are unconcerned about pleasing everyone else.

Beware, however, of taking this too far where you cast a blind eye to the negative effect you might have on others. Then you become a jerk.

However, if you are aware of your actions and words on others and conscientious, you won’t let this happen. Most people worry too much about what others think than too little.

3. Realize that women are not better than you. Gently help them down from that pedestal you might have placed them on. Nobody in this world is “better” or more valuable than another person. Everyone has to use the toilet.

Don’t believe deep down inside that she may be better than you and that she has the right to judge you. By getting rid of thinking in this way, you will be able to have more confidence and be a better date or boyfriend.

4. A positive spin on life. This means you are overall optimistic about the world. Being negative or pessimistic means you are assuming the worst and really demonstrates that you are cop out. You bet on things turning out crappy because you think you know the future? Nobody knows the future.

Being able to say, “I told you so” is a poor reward for having a bad outlook.

Choose to have a more optimistic outlook in life and you will automatically become more attractive to women. And, who knows, maybe thoughts really do have more power than we give them, and this one change can alter the course of your life in a meaningful, positive way.

These three characteristics, when they are made a part of your personality and whom you are inside and then exhibited externally, will give you power and charisma.

Traits to Being Confident With Women:

1. Self-Confidence. Many men don’t realize that the quality of their relationships and interactions with other people almost completely are determined by how the man feels about himself.

If you have true self-confidence, you are telling the world all sorts of things about yourself. For instance, you are saying that you are happy with who you are; that you aren’t afraid of living life or what the future has in store for you; you are demonstrating a positive attitude; you show you have direction and know where you’re headed in life; you are also exhibiting externally that you are not needy or dependent on others.

2. Self-discipline. There are two main aspects of self-discipline.

The first deals with your ability to pay the price or work hard to get what you want. This involves creating a life for yourself where you set goals and work to achieve them. It involves taking control of your thoughts and actions. It means ultimately, getting more dates. This type of self-discipline toward your goals always pays off.

Another aspect of having self-discipline is controlling how you act around a woman. For instance, you will exude the trait of self-discipline if you refuse to react to someone else’s words and actions. The biggest mistake you can make when a woman is trying to provoke you is to react to it. Freaking out means she won and you lost her respect at the same time.

If you have self-discipline, you are able to take a breath — a pause so to speak — between the stimulus and how you react to it. During that pause, you have time to stop and think. You will make better choices then in how you decide to respond.

Occasionally a woman will provoke you as a test. She’s trying to control you and manipulate you. (Guys do the same thing to women even if they don’t’ realize it.) But your ability to not react to what she does and says in this way will make you more attractive and ultimately, a challenge to her.

3. Sense of Humor.

If you can make a woman laugh, you’re ahead of the game. More men get women as girlfriends and bed buddies just by this one characteristic alone.

Work on that funny bone. You don’t have to be a one-man comedy routine. But you do need to look at life in a humorous way. See the funny parts of a situation.

Having a sense of humor, not only makes a woman laugh, which makes her lie you more and drop her defenses, but it also shows that you have confidence.

You can’t be confident with women without being able to poke a little fun at yourself and life and not take everything so seriously.

She has been conditioned since she was a child to avoid this label. IN addition, it is her biological defense mechanism. It goes back to primitive times when women had to be careful about whom they hooked up with or they would end up alone and defenseless. Picking the wrong caveman could mean death for her and her offspring. That forced women to be very particular about whom they had sex with.

So, what’s a guy to do: Here is a guide to understanding what women say and what they want:

Understanding What Women Say:

1. Men need to realize that even though hundreds of thousands of years have passed, a primitive portion of a woman’s brain is telling her that in order for her to have sex with someone, he better convince her that he can provide for her and protect.

Even if she is using birth control and makes ten times the amount of money that he does, this biological response makes her defensive unless a guy can demonstrate these two traits.

Even if logically she just wants a fun roll in the hay and could care less if the guy is a jobless bum as long as he’s cute, clean, and good in the sack, she’s going to say no unless he shows some alpha male traits.

2. Overcome the obstacle by stoking desire.

Maybe you aren’t the best provider in the world, but you still want to seduce her. So, what are your options? The only path is to stoke her desire to sleep with you so it overcomes her defense mechanism.

To ramp up her desire to sleep with you, increase her attraction toward you and decrease any mistrust she may have. In addition, while you are doing this, your goal also needs to be to make her feel unique and special. If she feels like one of the masses of women you seduce, she’ll lose interest and may not even tell you why.

3. The most important step in seducing a woman is showing her that you think she is a unique woman that you desire. You have to desire her as a woman more than you desire sex with her as a woman. Read that again to make sure you understand what I’m saying. Or put another way, you need to show you want her more than you want sex.

If she gets the impression you are just after her for the sex, her defenses and reluctance will become obvious.

4. Follow these ten steps to seduction carefully and you will be able to overcome her resistance and defenses.

1. Make contact with her by approaching and talking to her.

2. Get a phone number or email so you can arrange a future meeting.

3. Make that first contact. Call her, only talking long enough to set up the first meeting.

4. Meet and make sure you are working toward building attraction between you the entire time.

5. Touch for the first time by holding her hand or putting your arm around her.

6. Kiss her. You must go in for a kiss during that first meeting or you are in danger of ending up in the friend zone.

7. Make out. Engage in extended kissing.

8. Touch in a sexual manner toward the goal of intimate contact.

9. Get naked. Shed some clothes along with more stimulation.

10. Sex

The first step in touching a woman is what we call kino — the use of touch to arouse physical and emotional desire.

Understanding how to use kino is an important step in seducing a woman:

Seduction Technique Tips:

1. Be flexible and open to using different approaches and techniques with different women. Some women want to be touched more during the first few dates, while others prefer waiting until further on in the process to be touched that much.

2. Learn how to tell which type of women you are dealing with. So how do you know whether to hold off on much touching during the first few dates or whether she is craving your touch? Become knowledgeable in reading body language. If you know a bit about body language, you can tell when she likes what you are doing or whether she is closing herself off and wants you to back off.

3. Figure out how you feel about touch first. When you touch a woman, you want it to be completely natural, so take some time to examine how comfortable you are with touch. Are you the huggy type or more reserved? Do you touch other people often? Do you hug and kiss your friends in a touchy-feely way or do you keep that for intimate moments in private. Some people get uncomfortable if the clerk brushes their hand when she gives change. It all has to do with how you personally feel about it. There is no right or wrong way to feel, but understanding your take on touch will help you tailor your efforts at kino to something that feels and appears natural.

4. Understand what the most common mistake in kino is. Most men touch women too early. Many men long to touch the softness of a woman’s body and it sometimes is hard for us to hold back. What may seem natural to you seems like a lack of self-control to her. Learn how to hold back.

It’s normal for a guy to want to hug and squeeze and touch a pretty girl. That is a normal, natural desire. But guys have to fight that desire. Touching her too early does not spark desire in her.

5. A good rule of thumb to remember is to always make those first steps toward kino, light and brief. In other words, that first touch should be a light and brief touch to a body part that is not intimate.

For instance, you might touch her shoulder to get her attention, or even her hand. You could even brush by her and touch her back or arm. The key is to make sure the touch is not aggressive and that it does not linger. Remember light and brief touch for the first few attempts at kino.

If you follow these general guidelines for the first time you touch a woman, you will be leagues ahead of most guys out there.

Do you look at that giant pool of eligible women has a vast and endless ocean, or do you see it as a tiny pond where women are constantly being plucked away from you?

It’s all about whether you have an attitude or view of the dating world as one of scarcity or one of abundance.

One of my favorite tips on how to get a girlfriend helps guys figure out whether they are operating from a position of scarcity versus abundance.

Here are some questions to ask yourself to help you figure this out:

Tips on Getting a Girlfriend:

1. Do you see options in the world that are limitless? When you look around at the world, not just at the women in it, do you see very few options? Does it appear that your options are narrow and predetermined? Sometimes changing this perspective opens up a whole new host of possibilities to not only enrich your dating life, but help you lead a more fulfilling, satisfying life in general.

2. Do you look at the world as a place where there is enough success for everyone? Some guys don’t view the world this way. Instead, they find themselves green with envy when a colleague or friend succeeds. How do you view the world when it comes to success and whether there is enough to go around? Think about this. Write down your thoughts on paper if you need to.

3. Do you view success like a pie, where there are only so many slices available, and once it’s gone, it’s gone? IN other words, do you think that another guy having success with a girl means one less girl for you in the world? Do you think that once the pie tin is empty, you’ve lost out forever? If so, do you think this is a rational way to view success or dating? What can you do to alter this perspective?

4. Do you worry that when you lose out on attracting a particular woman, that you’ve lost an opportunity to have sex with someone?

Do you think that your opportunities to have sex are so few and far in between that you truly only have one shot a few times a year? Do you think that this might affect your ability to attract women, placing all that expectation on one woman in one situation?

These questions and more should help you determine how you view the world and how it affects your success with women. Think about ways you can change that viewpoint to help you become more successful with women and find a girl you can make your own, without putting all that extra pressure on her, making it a do or die situation.

This is the reason why you’re afraid of approaching women…

I know that there are many guy out there who get approach anxiety and jitters when it comes to approaching a woman for the first time.

I must admit, that after being in a long term relationship and out of the dating game for a while, I also get rusty and lose the touch at times.

So I have taken the liberty to study this topic in detail and come to the following conclusion.

How To Find A Girlfriend Facts:

1. Guys are afraid to approach women (and unable to find a girlfriend), because they are coming from an inherent mindset of “need” and the OUTCOME of the encounter makes or breaks what will happen next. This “need” is further broken down into:

2. The need to be accepted by her

3. The need to not undergo the feeling of rejection

4. The need to not feel embarrassed and lose face

5. The need to not have the ego damaged

So that’s why when a guy approaches a woman for the first time, it’s actually pretty nerve racking as they are actively putting their internal needs up to the evaluation and judgment of the women they are approaching.

Now what’s worse is that the evaluation process is not only unfair for the guy, it puts them at a SEVERE disadvantage.

The approach scenario puts the woman in the position of power, where SHE is the one that chooses and decides the outcome of the situation. Her judgment is not based on whether or not this man can actually satisfy her as a sexual partner or long term mate, but rather the way he appears and comes across at the time of the approach.

Now why does this suck?

Even gorgeous Hollywood celebrities and extremely sexy women look like shit sometimes if they dress wrong or don’t have make up.

Now these are 10/10 gorgeous babes and they have their off days… let alone the average male.

So having a woman judge you based on probably 10 seconds of meeting you and then deciding whether or not to give you her personal contact information is not only dangerous to a woman, it’s also a bit scary and intimidating for them.

Think about this, this is what’s going through her mind “ok, so this guy I don’t really know who I just met for 10 seconds wants me to go out with him alone and wants my number…”

Does that sound like a good deal to you? Even as a man that doesn’t sound like a good option…

That’s why approaching women from this mindset and mentality puts you at a severe disadvantage and really sets you up to fail.

So what’s the best way to approach?

The best way to approach is not come from the mindset of being needy and being dependant on the outcome.

Instead of placing the emphasis on HER, make the approach all about you.

That’s probably why when guys approach women for fun and for a joke, they have no qualms about it. They don’t expect to get the girls number and they don’t really care too much about the outcome. So the interaction is 100% natural, and often much more smoother than a woman they WANT, because they simply don’t give a damn.

They don’t care about the outcome so there’s no pressure in approaching.

No pressure = no approach anxiety = heaps of approaching fun = heaps of approaching success

So before you start worrying about how to find a girlfriend, make sure you have the right mindset to begin with, prior to the approach.

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With all that said, that means you need to be a man of honesty, dignity, and integrity in all that you do. When you are, women sense this and will trust you.

And once they trust you, the door to seduction opens wide.

As I said, trust is considered the big whammy. Women who trust you can allow themselves to be attracted to you. That is why it is so important that you break through that defense mechanism on her part and demonstrate during those initial stages of a relationship, that she can trust you.

Here’s how to build trust as part of your seduction techniques:

Seduction Techniques Tips:

1. Realize that building trust and attraction at the same time is truly a contradiction and you will have to engage in some psychological tug-of-war. What I mean by this is that she is struggling between two things: her desire for you and her distrust of you. Convincing her that sex will be great and you can make her happy and you are a fun guy to be around, doesn’t make her trust you. And she won’t act on her desire for you until she trusts you.

2. Hands down the simplest and most effective way to gain a woman’s trust it to be trustworthy. That means (if you don’t already have them) adopting traits, attitudes, and behaviors of someone people can trust. You need to make sure you:

* Don’t lie.

* Don’t manipulate or mislead.

* Do act in a consistent manner.

* Do what you say you’re going to do.

These four things alone will build your character and make you a better man in the end regardless of your dating life.

3. Learn how to break through a woman’s initial resistance. Women have a shield up so they don’t’ get hurt. You need to find a way in. One method is to confront her resistant behavior from the beginning. If she is really hard-core and aggressive about her resistance, you might want to find someone else to spend time with.

But here’s one way to try to break down those walls. You can say this, “Gabriella, I’ve been patient for the past two weeks, but you don’t seem like you want to open up to me. Before I call it quits, I want to say that I think your tough guy act is a façade. I think inside you want to be open, but you’re afraid to trust. If we can’t get past that, I think we’re going to have to go our separate ways.”

4. Just like in the example above, you need to assertively call women out on their behavior in a direct, respectful manner. If you call them on their emotional reactions and why they act the way they do, you might just have the beginning of a great relationship. You see, often they might react in a bitchy manner at first, but will later realize you are being trustworthy, direct, and honest and will come back to try it another way.

Now, I’m not going to discount the idea of soul mates. What I am going to dispute is the concept that there exists only one soul mate for every person out there. There is just too much proof that this is not true.

In fact, I’ll go so far as to say there are dozens, possibly even hundreds of them out there waiting for us. When you think about how many people are out there in the world single and looking for love, these odds just make sense.

With that in mind, let’s take a look at how looking at the world through a perspective of scarcity, versus looking at he world as a place of abundance, affects our dating life. Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine whether you operate from a perspective of abundance or scarcity:

Dating Tips For Guys:

1. Do you look at the world and see endless, limitless options? If so, you are well on your way to success and viewing the world as a place of abundance, with plenty to go around for everyone. If not, start trying to view the world in this way.

2. Do you look around at the world and see that there is enough success to go around? In other words, if you see a friend or colleague achieve success, how does it make you feel? If you feel jealous, you might want to re-evaluate your view of how much success is out there. Some people look at success like a big birthday cake. They worry if they don’t get a piece soon, someone else will take the last one. This is not reality, guys.

3. Do you feel like you have only one shot to get intimate with a woman? If so, you are looking at the world with a scarcity mentality.

4. Are you motivated by a fear of loss and only act when you think you have to in order to prevent losing something? That is motivated by scarcity.

5. Do you look at the world around you and recognize that there are more opportunities that you have time to explore in a lifetime Do you realize that there are more single women than you could possibly date even if you had a lifetime to do it?

If you are motivated by abundance or train yourself to view the world in this way, you will realize that you don’t have time to waste on women who aren’t as interested in you as you are them. There are too many other women and opportunities out there just waiting for you. You will also realize that with so many limitless opportunities and possibilities out there for you, you don’t have time to dwell on rejection or failures.

Remember there are hundreds, maybe thousands more women out there who are probably even better for you than the woman who just rejected you. Don’t waste any more time thinking about it. Get out there and explore.

But let’s face it, most guys are afraid that their ego is going to burst into flames if they hear the word “no.” Men think this means they aren’t worthy of the attentions of an attractive woman. They think this means they aren’t good enough.

This is not true. What will overcome this fear is building up confidence with women as much as possible.

Part of that journey is realizing that being turned down, whether it is to embark on a conversation or whether it is for a date, either way this is not truly a judgment or evaluation of your self worth. It’s actually very narcissistic to think this way. For instance, the same thing occurs if you have a big zit and you think every person walking down the street notices it and makes a judgment on you because of it. Well, guess what? Everyone else walking down the street is probably more worried about that stain on their blouse or the whether their fly is open, or whatever. The point is they probably aren’t thinking about you. They, like you, are worried about what others think of them.

Confidence With Women Steps:

1. So, the first step in gaining confidence is to get out of that mindset. This means that you need to accept that your reaction to being rejected is not necessary. IN fact, it’s a waste of time and energy. Somebody else turning you down has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

Instead of looking at rejection as a judgment, adopt the attitude that the only person worth your time is somebody who is interested in you.

Why would you waste time on someone who isn’t interested?

2. Ignore that primal instinct to want what we can’t have. Instead, realize that you deserve to be wanted.

So, in essence, when you approach a woman, you need to detach yourself from whatever comes out of the interaction.

3. To bolster your confidence with women, you also need to tweak your goals. The goal then should be that instead of trying to get a phone number or date, aim for something else that is less tangible. For instance, your goal should be the chance to learn from, and improve, based on your experience with women that night.

4. Becoming focused on a goal such as getting a phone number or getting a kiss can actually hurt your confidence with women. Something about that desire to “get” becomes obvious to women and they will often shy away from you.

Instead, to build your confidence with women, make your goals all about what you “give.” For instance, you can give value to a conversation or add some fun to a group. When you look at this way, everyone ends up winning.

But just how are you going to go about this? You’ve been pretty funny and entertaining so far, but you know this first meeting is a make-or-break it one.

If you follow a few tips and techniques, you can soar right through that first meeting with grace. It is important to remember at the outset, that your first meeting is all about two things, and two things only: Building her attraction to you and getting a kiss at the end of the date. Everything you do during this first meeting should be done with an eye toward these two goals.

Here are some ways to help you reach that goal.

How To Get A Girl To Like Me Tips:

1. Maintain an aura of mystery. Do not blab and reveal every little detail about you and your life. You can give her an inkling of what you and your life are about, but keep it a little vague. The better strategy is to focus the conversation on her. At the same time, you do need to provide some small pieces of information about yourself so she feels comfortable as if she can trust you.

2. Carry yourself well. Have great posture. Study body language and learn how to stand, sit, and move in a way that projects confidence. Show you are an alpha male with the way you move and stand. This alone can convey you are a true man in control of your world. Demonstrate the three S’s through posture (sense of humor, self-discipline, and self-confidence.)

3. Use teasing to your advantage. I call this tease-to-please. By teasing in a gentle, playful way, you are showing you are confidence. Probably other guys put her on a pedestal, but by teasing her, you stand out from the crowd. Be sure you are never hurting someone’s feeling or offending them with your teasing. Do it in a lighthearted manner.

4. Charm her socks off. Be witty, sophisticated, and suave. Show you are a very appealing man in a romantic way. Use your charm to let her know you are a man who is attracted to women. Keep a small sexual current underlying all of your interactions so she never even considers throwing you into the dreaded “friend zone.”

Learn how touching a woman in seductive, but not intimate ways can build that tension. Usually the touch needs to be very light and very brief, but it will convey the message just fine.

5. Be patient and take your time. Rushing into intimacy, whether emotional or physical, will only serve as a turn off. Give her some time to build her attraction toward you.