More thoughts on ego…

The guys have been tearing it up on my Facebook page, on this topic I've been asking about: EGO.

Some good stuff there.

I wanted to share a few thoughts on Ego and the role it place. Robert Martin, a good friend of mine from the "Look Great Naked At Any Age" site, wrote an essay on the subject. I got his permission to re-print it here.

If you get the chance, you should also go look at his site over at: Look Great Naked At Any Age

- Carlos

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Self-defense, self-discipline, self-motivation, self-improvement, self-respect, self-esteem all begin with the word “self,” and depend on one’s self to be brought to life. In order to defend yourself, you must first have a self you feel is worth defending. We are often told, “Check your ego at the door,” or “Don’t let your ego get in the way.”

In fact, when you encounter a person with an ego problem, it is almost certainly because that person’s ego is not too big, but too small. A small ego requires constant stroking and excessive reinforcement to make up for its insecurity. That is the person who brags and loudly proclaims their accomplishments, which are often as imaginary as their artificial self-esteem.

A person with a secure, well-developed sense of self does not strut and boast. He is quiet about his accomplishments, not because of false humility, but because his self-esteem gives him a sense of security and confidence…

Many philosophies teach that pride is evil. One of the greatest philosophers of all, Aristotle, had a different view. He honored pride as the crown of all virtues, because you earn it by first practicing the other virtues of rationality, honesty, integrity, productivity, independence, and justice. While many would label this approach as selfish in the pejorative sense, in fact it produces more benefits for others than so-called selflessness ever has. I have been inspired by the example of many students whom I’ve watched struggle and work and finally succeed through long-term effort and relentless commitment.

My inspiration was not their goal, their own improvement was. The feeling of inspiration I received was like a secret gift to me, which I gained merely for the price of observing and admiring their effort. Similarly, I’m sure that my hard work and my commitment have provided inspiration for some of you.

If you are truly interested in helping others, one of the best ways to do it is not to diminish your own value through self-sacrifice, but rather to set a positive example by making yourself the best that you can be, and encouraging others to reach their highest potential as well. By doing so, your capacity to help is doubled – first, indirectly by your good example for others, and second, directly by the increased capacity for effective action that your self-improvement has given you.

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