Dating Tips for Guys

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Posted on Feb 20, 2009 in Confidence With Women, Flirt With Women | 0 comments

QUESTION FROM A READER:
First there was a girl who I was dating, but seemed to get angry when she saw me with other women and when I asked her out for day 4, she said "Since we're just friends, I think 2 dates is enough…." and since we just ignored each other completely. When she saw me last night she suddenly started speaking to me after weeks of not speaking to me saying, "Are you going to play dodgeball," and chatted me up before moving away. It was interesting to say the least. (What's up here?)

So I played ball for a while. The girl says bye and smiles. (wow big difference…did she just get over me?) After my friends and I are socializing and 3 girls are there. One I am just friends with (Girl 3), actually 2 of them but I treated Girl 1 as a woman I was trying to attract. No more holding back my dominance or attractiveness anymore for it is time to establish what works again in my mind.

They were talking about getting up at 5 in the morning and I said, "I have to get up at 4:30 in the morning." I touched Girl 1 on the arm as I said, "I thought I was the only crazy one." She touched me back. A little playful banter.

She then did something I am trying to figure out.
She says something the got my attention and introduces her friend (Girl 2). I shook her hand and flirted a little. Girl 1 said, "She wanted to know why you were getting up that early in the morning." (Why did she do this?) We talked a little then Girl 1 was trying to get my attention too. We did this and then the group split.

As I was walking away Girl 1 asked me some more questions from across the parking lot, but eventually I finally got away Dating Tips for Guys dating tips for guys

So in review, what happened here? Is there something I could've done better?
How would you read this situation? Which girl wanted me? Hard to read. Any insights are welcome.

______________________

CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

The longer I go at this, the more I believe that the first thing you should do when a woman begins acting erratically like this is to drop her and let her deal with her issues.

This is tough, though, because they tend to give you just enough hope that you are left sitting there with a stinking pile of drama in your lap that you don't know where to go next.

It's nearly impossible to break down what is happening when a woman goes really hot & cold on you without observing it first hand. (This is the big mistake 'gurus' tend to make – even me – when we give the glib "You just weren't confident enough!" answer.)

You have to start with your own behavior and make sure you have a realistic grasp on what you may have done to "weird" her out. If she genuinely went hot and cold, the only thing you can do is to be CONSISTENT.

Again, another difficult thing to do, but it is something that women MUST sense you will do. Remember that the worst thing you can do is to try to get into her mind and pretend you know what's going on in there. You don't, and you can't.

RULE: The more women you are seeing or the more prospects you have, the less you will find yourself caring about situations such as these – AND the less you will find yourself dwelling on them. And…

RULE 2: Be VERY careful about reading too much into a girl's questions or responses – even when you suspect they are tests. You don't want to become "conversationally paranoid" and then make it even more difficult to stay in the moment.

SHE should be wondering what YOU meant, not the other way around.

BIG difference.

If your internal dialogue starts sounding like a conversation among women, you need to cut that right off.

confidence with women

Dating Tips for Guys dating tips for guys

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