If you want to know how to find a girlfriend and wonder why you’re afraid of approaching women, well let me tell you this.

This is the reason why you’re afraid of approaching women…

I know that there are many guy out there who get approach anxiety and jitters when it comes to approaching a woman for the first time.

I must admit, that after being in a long term relationship and out of the dating game for a while, I also get rusty and lose the touch at times.

So I have taken the liberty to study this topic in detail and come to the following conclusion.

How To Find A Girlfriend Facts:

1. Guys are afraid to approach women (and unable to find a girlfriend), because they are coming from an inherent mindset of “need” and the OUTCOME of the encounter makes or breaks what will happen next. This “need” is further broken down into:

2. The need to be accepted by her

3. The need to not undergo the feeling of rejection

4. The need to not feel embarrassed and lose face

5. The need to not have the ego damaged

So that’s why when a guy approaches a woman for the first time, it’s actually pretty nerve racking as they are actively putting their internal needs up to the evaluation and judgment of the women they are approaching.

Now what’s worse is that the evaluation process is not only unfair for the guy, it puts them at a SEVERE disadvantage.

The approach scenario puts the woman in the position of power, where SHE is the one that chooses and decides the outcome of the situation. Her judgment is not based on whether or not this man can actually satisfy her as a sexual partner or long term mate, but rather the way he appears and comes across at the time of the approach.

Now why does this suck?

Even gorgeous Hollywood celebrities and extremely sexy women look like shit sometimes if they dress wrong or don’t have make up.

Now these are 10/10 gorgeous babes and they have their off days… let alone the average male.

So having a woman judge you based on probably 10 seconds of meeting you and then deciding whether or not to give you her personal contact information is not only dangerous to a woman, it’s also a bit scary and intimidating for them.

Think about this, this is what’s going through her mind “ok, so this guy I don’t really know who I just met for 10 seconds wants me to go out with him alone and wants my number…”

Does that sound like a good deal to you? Even as a man that doesn’t sound like a good option…

That’s why approaching women from this mindset and mentality puts you at a severe disadvantage and really sets you up to fail.

So what’s the best way to approach?

The best way to approach is not come from the mindset of being needy and being dependant on the outcome.

Instead of placing the emphasis on HER, make the approach all about you.

That’s probably why when guys approach women for fun and for a joke, they have no qualms about it. They don’t expect to get the girls number and they don’t really care too much about the outcome. So the interaction is 100% natural, and often much more smoother than a woman they WANT, because they simply don’t give a damn.

They don’t care about the outcome so there’s no pressure in approaching.

No pressure = no approach anxiety = heaps of approaching fun = heaps of approaching success

So before you start worrying about how to find a girlfriend, make sure you have the right mindset to begin with, prior to the approach.

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The key on seduction techniques is gaining her trust. It’s all about showing her that she can be comfortable and safe with you. It’s proving you aren’t violent or abusive in any way, physically, mentally, or emotionally. It’s also about convincing her that she can take a risk with you and she won’t get hurt.

With all that said, that means you need to be a man of honesty, dignity, and integrity in all that you do. When you are, women sense this and will trust you.

And once they trust you, the door to seduction opens wide.

As I said, trust is considered the big whammy. Women who trust you can allow themselves to be attracted to you. That is why it is so important that you break through that defense mechanism on her part and demonstrate during those initial stages of a relationship, that she can trust you.

Here’s how to build trust as part of your seduction techniques:

Seduction Techniques Tips:

1. Realize that building trust and attraction at the same time is truly a contradiction and you will have to engage in some psychological tug-of-war. What I mean by this is that she is struggling between two things: her desire for you and her distrust of you. Convincing her that sex will be great and you can make her happy and you are a fun guy to be around, doesn’t make her trust you. And she won’t act on her desire for you until she trusts you.

2. Hands down the simplest and most effective way to gain a woman’s trust it to be trustworthy. That means (if you don’t already have them) adopting traits, attitudes, and behaviors of someone people can trust. You need to make sure you:

* Don’t lie.

* Don’t manipulate or mislead.

* Do act in a consistent manner.

* Do what you say you’re going to do.

These four things alone will build your character and make you a better man in the end regardless of your dating life.

3. Learn how to break through a woman’s initial resistance. Women have a shield up so they don’t’ get hurt. You need to find a way in. One method is to confront her resistant behavior from the beginning. If she is really hard-core and aggressive about her resistance, you might want to find someone else to spend time with.

But here’s one way to try to break down those walls. You can say this, “Gabriella, I’ve been patient for the past two weeks, but you don’t seem like you want to open up to me. Before I call it quits, I want to say that I think your tough guy act is a façade. I think inside you want to be open, but you’re afraid to trust. If we can’t get past that, I think we’re going to have to go our separate ways.”

4. Just like in the example above, you need to assertively call women out on their behavior in a direct, respectful manner. If you call them on their emotional reactions and why they act the way they do, you might just have the beginning of a great relationship. You see, often they might react in a bitchy manner at first, but will later realize you are being trustworthy, direct, and honest and will come back to try it another way.

Too many guys get caught up in the whole romantic concept that there is truly only one woman out there that is perfect for them. They buy into the whole soul mates idealistic point of view and think that they stand one shot at happiness in love.  Men turn to ask some dating tips for guys to master the inner thoughts of a woman.

Now, I’m not going to discount the idea of soul mates. What I am going to dispute is the concept that there exists only one soul mate for every person out there. There is just too much proof that this is not true.

In fact, I’ll go so far as to say there are dozens, possibly even hundreds of them out there waiting for us. When you think about how many people are out there in the world single and looking for love, these odds just make sense.

With that in mind, let’s take a look at how looking at the world through a perspective of scarcity, versus looking at he world as a place of abundance, affects our dating life. Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine whether you operate from a perspective of abundance or scarcity:

Dating Tips For Guys:

1. Do you look at the world and see endless, limitless options? If so, you are well on your way to success and viewing the world as a place of abundance, with plenty to go around for everyone. If not, start trying to view the world in this way.

2. Do you look around at the world and see that there is enough success to go around? In other words, if you see a friend or colleague achieve success, how does it make you feel? If you feel jealous, you might want to re-evaluate your view of how much success is out there. Some people look at success like a big birthday cake. They worry if they don’t get a piece soon, someone else will take the last one. This is not reality, guys.

3. Do you feel like you have only one shot to get intimate with a woman? If so, you are looking at the world with a scarcity mentality.

4. Are you motivated by a fear of loss and only act when you think you have to in order to prevent losing something? That is motivated by scarcity.

5. Do you look at the world around you and recognize that there are more opportunities that you have time to explore in a lifetime Do you realize that there are more single women than you could possibly date even if you had a lifetime to do it?

If you are motivated by abundance or train yourself to view the world in this way, you will realize that you don’t have time to waste on women who aren’t as interested in you as you are them. There are too many other women and opportunities out there just waiting for you. You will also realize that with so many limitless opportunities and possibilities out there for you, you don’t have time to dwell on rejection or failures.

Remember there are hundreds, maybe thousands more women out there who are probably even better for you than the woman who just rejected you. Don’t waste any more time thinking about it. Get out there and explore.

Behind every man who is afraid to approach a woman lies the fear of rejection. If a guy weren’t afraid of being turned down, he would hit on every woman he was attracted to. But that would take a whole lot of confidence with women, now wouldn’t it?

But let’s face it, most guys are afraid that their ego is going to burst into flames if they hear the word “no.” Men think this means they aren’t worthy of the attentions of an attractive woman. They think this means they aren’t good enough.

This is not true. What will overcome this fear is building up confidence with women as much as possible.

Part of that journey is realizing that being turned down, whether it is to embark on a conversation or whether it is for a date, either way this is not truly a judgment or evaluation of your self worth. It’s actually very narcissistic to think this way. For instance, the same thing occurs if you have a big zit and you think every person walking down the street notices it and makes a judgment on you because of it. Well, guess what? Everyone else walking down the street is probably more worried about that stain on their blouse or the whether their fly is open, or whatever. The point is they probably aren’t thinking about you. They, like you, are worried about what others think of them.

Confidence With Women Steps:

1. So, the first step in gaining confidence is to get out of that mindset. This means that you need to accept that your reaction to being rejected is not necessary. IN fact, it’s a waste of time and energy. Somebody else turning you down has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

Instead of looking at rejection as a judgment, adopt the attitude that the only person worth your time is somebody who is interested in you.

Why would you waste time on someone who isn’t interested?

2. Ignore that primal instinct to want what we can’t have. Instead, realize that you deserve to be wanted.

So, in essence, when you approach a woman, you need to detach yourself from whatever comes out of the interaction.

3. To bolster your confidence with women, you also need to tweak your goals. The goal then should be that instead of trying to get a phone number or date, aim for something else that is less tangible. For instance, your goal should be the chance to learn from, and improve, based on your experience with women that night.

4. Becoming focused on a goal such as getting a phone number or getting a kiss can actually hurt your confidence with women. Something about that desire to “get” becomes obvious to women and they will often shy away from you.

Instead, to build your confidence with women, make your goals all about what you “give.” For instance, you can give value to a conversation or add some fun to a group. When you look at this way, everyone ends up winning.

You’ve impressed her with your charm and wit and she’s agreed to meet you for a drink. It’s the first time you’ll meet alone. You are anxious in knowing how to get a girl to like me. You ironed your nicest shirt, polished your shoes, listened to your favorite music, and are ready to go woo her with your awesome self.

But just how are you going to go about this? You’ve been pretty funny and entertaining so far, but you know this first meeting is a make-or-break it one.

If you follow a few tips and techniques, you can soar right through that first meeting with grace. It is important to remember at the outset, that your first meeting is all about two things, and two things only: Building her attraction to you and getting a kiss at the end of the date. Everything you do during this first meeting should be done with an eye toward these two goals.

Here are some ways to help you reach that goal.

How To Get A Girl To Like Me Tips:

1. Maintain an aura of mystery. Do not blab and reveal every little detail about you and your life. You can give her an inkling of what you and your life are about, but keep it a little vague. The better strategy is to focus the conversation on her. At the same time, you do need to provide some small pieces of information about yourself so she feels comfortable as if she can trust you.

2. Carry yourself well. Have great posture. Study body language and learn how to stand, sit, and move in a way that projects confidence. Show you are an alpha male with the way you move and stand. This alone can convey you are a true man in control of your world. Demonstrate the three S’s through posture (sense of humor, self-discipline, and self-confidence.)

3. Use teasing to your advantage. I call this tease-to-please. By teasing in a gentle, playful way, you are showing you are confidence. Probably other guys put her on a pedestal, but by teasing her, you stand out from the crowd. Be sure you are never hurting someone’s feeling or offending them with your teasing. Do it in a lighthearted manner.

4. Charm her socks off. Be witty, sophisticated, and suave. Show you are a very appealing man in a romantic way. Use your charm to let her know you are a man who is attracted to women. Keep a small sexual current underlying all of your interactions so she never even considers throwing you into the dreaded “friend zone.”

Learn how touching a woman in seductive, but not intimate ways can build that tension. Usually the touch needs to be very light and very brief, but it will convey the message just fine.

5. Be patient and take your time. Rushing into intimacy, whether emotional or physical, will only serve as a turn off. Give her some time to build her attraction toward you.