Carlos Xuma's Dating Tips for Guys

SPECIAL REPORT: The Ways Guys Can Attract Girls

I'm asked a lot about the whole "Nice Guy" versus the "Jerk" or the "Bad Boy…"

I decided to create a newsletter this week that hits this topic on the head. AND explains the THREE Ways guys can attract girls – and which one you want to use!

Ways Guys Can Attract Girls – And The Secret about why women don't like the "nice guy…"

Carlos Xuma

SPECIAL REPORT: The Secret Ingredient of PICK UP LINES…

So why do guys use pick up lines?

I've been studying this curious mating ritual for over 10 years

now, and I finally understood the reasons why guys want to use them.

Pickup lines are the equivalent of a knock-knock joke.

1) She feels obligated to answer, even though she knows what's coming…

2) She knows something dumb is coming after you answer…

3) She's forced to give you a small amount of polite attention after you're done…

4) She's going to get away from you as soon as humanly possible after you're done telling it…

Truthfully, that small amount of polite attention isn't even necessary anymore. She could just walk away from a dumb pick up line.

Who'd blame her?

Now, pickup lines come in two flavors:

Pickup Line 1 = The funny pickup line that you look up, seriously wanting something to say when you approach a woman, but knowing you'll NEVER use it…

Pickup Line 2 = The REAL pickup line that you want to just start a conversation.

Again, most guys use a line because…

To find out more about the missing ingredient that most guys miss, read the rest here:

Pick Up Lines – The Missing Ingredient

Carlos Xuma

PS: In this newsletter report, I also give you several great conversation openers, as well as my "personalization" technique to getting your opener to work every time…

Go read the report here right now:

Pick Up Lines – The Missing Ingredient

Interesting article in the Swedish news:

Dating in Sweden: sex, booze and mobile phones

As American blogger Kommissarie F. Curiosa prepares to wrap up her almost seven-year sojourn in Sweden, she shares her revised reflections on Swedish mating and dating with The Local. This guide may not help you find your Swedish Valentine, but it might just shed some light on the tantalizing mystery known as the strong, silent Nordic type.

With one of the highest birth rates in Europe, the Swedes seem to be pretty prolific when it comes to making babies, but even after six plus years of living in Stockholm, I'm still not sure how Swedish relationships actually happen.

The only obvious explanation seems to be massive quantities of alcohol. In other words, Swedish babies wouldn't exist without Finnish booze cruises and Systembolaget.

In recent months, The Local has reported that Swedes are much less inclined than their European counterparts to spend vast sums of cash in their efforts to find a mate. This didn't surprise me at all. That's because they spend it all on alcohol trying to get themselves drunk enough to talk to a member of the opposite sex.

I know that it will seem ungrateful to be accusing my host country of being a nation of stingy alcoholics, and I'll be the first to admit that a few drinks can be a fantastic social lubricant. It's probably also a case of “it's not the Swedes, it's me,” but Swedish mating and dating rituals (and usually in that order) appear to be a very slow process that go nowhere (except the bedroom) fast.

In a nutshell, it goes something like this:

A) Meet at a mutual friend's party.

B) Get really, really drunk.

C) Make out. Sex is optional.

D) If you're lucky, you are sober enough to save the other person's telephone number in your mobile, AND to put it under the correct name.

E) Send a text message along the lines of "last night was nice. Shall we have a coffee sometime?"

F) Spend hours analyzing the various ways in which aforementioned text message could be misinterpreted. Get your friends involved.

G) Have a "fika." *(see below for an explanation of this uniquely Swedish institution)

*A "fika" is a Swedish word for an ambiguous meeting that may or may not be a date, or better explained as a non-date, or a date that is pretending-not-to-be-a-date.

It is also worth mentioning that one can also have a fika with a friend, colleague, family member, or neighbor. Hence the ambiguity of the whole affair.

During this "fika" Swedish non-date, things are a little stilted and awkward as both parties pretend that nothing happened last Saturday night, and politely and awkwardly ask questions about the other person, usually beginning with "Where do you live?," descending into a discussion about the difficulty and frustration of the Stockholm housing market, and complaining that you have had to move seven times in the course of six months.

Now, where were we…oh yes:

H) At the end of this date pretending not to be a date, give each other an awkward hug, or possibly a handshake, ended with the statement, "Vi hörs!" or "Hoppas vi ses snart!" ("I'll talk to you soon." or "Hope we see each other soon!")

I) Spend the entire next week pondering over who should make the next move.

A WORD OF WARNING: It is not assumed here that the guy will take the lead. More likely, the opposite is expected. If the Swedish guy is brave enough open his mouth and say something at all during this date, he may feel that it is now the girl's turn to put herself out on a limb.

J) Spend many more hours analyzing your feeble attempts at text message"flirting," agonizing over whether you should or should not use the word "mysig" (cozy) or "trevlig" (nice), fearing the former may be too much, and the latter may not be enough. Once again, enlist the help of your friends.

K) Repeat Step A.

L) Repeat Step B.

M) Repeat Step C, all the while pretending it never happened the first time.

N) Sometime after several more renditions of Steps B and C, go out to dinner.

O) Since it's a little harder to pretend you are not on a real date in the formal atmosphere of a restaurant, drink massive amounts of the house wine.

P) At the end of dinner, closely examine the bill to make sure each person pays for his or her appropriate share, including the extra five kronor for dressing on the side.

Q) Get kicked out of your way-too-expensive second-hand rental contract because the person you were subletting from didn't take 10 study points and lost his/her contract for student housing.

R) Get drunk again, and commiserate on the horrors of the Stockholm housing market.

S) Move in together.

T) Go shopping at Ikea.

U) Take a romantic trip to the Canary Islands.

V) Move to the suburbs, buy a Volvo and start collecting “Vuxenpoäng” (see Stockholm Syndrome for more on the ‘adult points’ systems).

W) Have a child.

X) Name it Johan, Erik, Fredrik, or Henrik if it’s a boy or Sara, Anna, Lisa, or Emma if it’s a girl.

Y) Two months after you go back to work after having Johan/Erik/Fredrik/Henrik/Sara/Anna/Lisa/Emma, repeat Step W.

Z) Enjoy an additional 18 months of parental leave.

Å) Get married for your 20th wedding anniversary.

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CARLOS XUMA COMMENTS:

Well, as usual, it appears that yet another journalist has NO CLUE as to how to date or create attraction.

And if you read carefully where she talks about how guys are not initiating, it seems that a lot of the guys don't know how it works, either.

(THAT, my friends, is why I'm here, I suppose.)

Interestingly, even after living in the country for a while, this author doesn't seem to have a clue – or realize that maybe there is a BETTER way to get the woman you want than playing the "everyone else is doing it, so I guess I will too…" game.

Looks like I need to do some seminars over in Sweden, eh?

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