I’m getting better at approaching and using [various methods] lately and brought home my first girl Saturday night since starting the material. Things went pretty well. We hooked up. In fact, I knew even before she met me that she wanted me… she couldn’t take her eyes off me.
Anyway, we made plans to meet up for lunch today, but when I IM’ed her she said she had to meet with her student advisor and wanted to reschedule. I just sure, no problem.
Then, she says she still wanted to call after her class got out and I said that was fine too.
Anyway, 1:30 rolls around and she still hasn’t called. I said screw it, I’ll just grab a bite to eat then head to the gym for an hour.
This is where it gets good…
At the campus food court, I actually see her their with one of her girlfriends. She didn’t see me I don’t believe, but I was pretty irritated. I ate then just went to the gym.
I feel fine now, but what do you guys think she is doing? I assume it’s a test to see if I will call her asking her why she hasn’t called me, but I won’t give in. How would any of you have handled it?
Also, I don’t plan on calling her until she calls me, if she does.
When she does, how should I act? What should I say?
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:
You’re planning too much. You’ve gone into the realm of TRYING to make everything work rather than just letting your natural Alpha Habits take over.
You’re placing way too much emphasis on figuring out what she’s thinking, and what it all means.
It means nothing.
You must simply act from a place of strength and belief in your own reality and your own world.
Without this calm sureness in your own skin, none of that other stuff matters.
Guys, when you are all wrapped up in trying to manipulate or engineer a certain RESULT, you miss the point.
1) Instant messaging her to “check-in” on your lunch date. Bad. Don’t do that. If she has to cancel, it’s her job to tell you so that you can discover the quality of her character. “Sure, no problem,” is a wuss reply. You should have been teasing her and busting her balls.
2) Waiting on her call. This places far too much emphasis on her as a result. You handed all your power over to her by giving HER the control. No matter what she says, she doesn’t want that control! You must be the one to lead things. You should have just told her you can’t wait around for her and you’ll just go with ‘someone else.’
You do have someone else, don’t you? If not, you didn’t read the “D.O.W.” chapter again in The Dating Black Book.
3) Assuming that once a woman is interested in you, she will STAY interested in you. Not so. Her emotions and attraction will ebb and flow. You must always assume you’re starting from ground level with her.
4) Getting irritated that she was there and did something you didn’t expect. Women will do this to you for the REST of your LIFE. Start getting used to it now. The one thing that will curb this kind of behavior is acting like a stronger male role model. (Otherwise known as an ALPHA MAN.)
You should have walked right over and started chatting up her friend, in a happy, couldn’t-give-a-shit attitude. Oh, and you should have done this with your ‘someone else‘ that you went to lunch with.
Being an Alpha Man is more than knowing one strategy that fits-all. (There’s no such thing.)
When you ask how to act or what to say, this has to come from the heart. The simple answer is that you must act with confidence and power. You act like YOU, but the strong, confident version of YOU.
Peace – Stay Alpha
– Carlos Xuma