Why do women need you to "open up"?

QUESTION FROM A READER:

Women always complain "he won't open up". He won"t tell her in case she uses it against him which most women do! do you know why?

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CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

Silly! Of course I do.

But are you asking me why women use it against us?

They're not.

They're just trying to ensure that there is a connection.

You see, a woman's priority is to ensure and nurture the strength of the connection between her and her man. If she feels like that might be threatened, she will often "stir things up" to re-ignite the emotions.

Because – instinctively – women realize that the opposite of love isn't hate – it's indifference.

So even frustration and anger is ensuring a connection with her mate.

Those couples that you see at each other's throats all the time aren't the relationships in danger. It's the ones where no one seems to do any talking or connecting.

Now, if you're asking me why women complain that men won't open up, that's because men are less emotive than women are. And she's still trying to ensure there are feelings there.

You see the real relationship killer is the lack of emotional engagement.

Let me say that again for you, because this is something most people don't see until it's too late.

What really kills relationships is emotional disconnection.

If a couple is not having some kind of conflict, there's usually an insulating shell being created around one or both people. And the feelings are slowly dying out between them, like a campfire that's gone out.

Even if they're together, you can be sure that there's no real connection.

So while this may go against your common sense (why do women complain about this when it seems to drive us away?), it's actually a very effective method of keeping an emotional connection of SOME kind alive.

Want to learn more about dating and how women work?

Go get a look at the book that explained it all before anyone else:

The Dating Black Book

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