CONFIDENCE – Part 4 – Chill
Hey, it’s Carlos – I’ve got a guest article from my good buddy Spike today…
“If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you…”
This is one of my favorite lines of poetry. It is from Rudyard Kipling’s “IF.” I strongly recommend you read and re-read the entire poem. It’s not very long, but it is powerful. It tells you all the things you need to do to be a MAN. But in this chapter we will focus on the “keeping your head” part, or as I call it, “The Art of the Chill.”
There is something very intoxicating in stillness. There is a surety, a serenity, and a suspicion of power. There is something very attractive and sexy about it as well. So much strength lies in being able to control your impulses and be the unflappable center of the chaos around you, unaffected by it, above it, yet completely aware of all that is happening. In times like these, people will turn to you for guidance. You will be ipso facto a leader. So…
When in doubt, Chill…
Have you ever heard the other side of the chill equation stated thusly, “When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout…?” Well, I sure did. My dad used to say it all the time. I hated it. I know he was trying to be funny, but it really wasn’t. My father was no leader, I got to see the opposite side; victimhood.
Everything was a conspiracy, even if an innocent waitress mistakenly shorted us by 20 cents, she meant to do it, by God! Everything that happened was out of his control. So he was personally offended when things didn’t go his way. He never stopped for a moment to think how his actions were being viewed by his family and all those around him that he was dragging down.
I never forgot the “Anti” lessons he taught me. I saw how things were to NOT be done and happily I can say that I have gone the other way. Though it was not easy ridding myself of such unmanly ways of behaving, I did finally shake it off and move forward in a positive direction. I know he never meant to be a downer and a negative influence, but that is what happened. And you need to be aware of what your actions are saying about you.
If you have this inner turmoil, it will outwardly show itself. And it is not attractive. A prime example; we have all had the misfortune of standing in long lines. All of us. It happens. But there’s always that one twitchy, annoying guy in line, exasperated by every little thing. He’s huffing and puffing, making crude remarks, as he is so important, and is being completely inconvenienced.
He is not doing a damn thing except letting everyone around him know he’s a whiny little bitch and making them all uncomfortable. No woman likes that! Especially if the guy doing it is her date and/or mate! So do a little soul searching and make sure that you are not that guy.
Realize that sometimes things are out of your control.