{"id":1922,"date":"2010-05-20T07:43:53","date_gmt":"2010-05-20T14:43:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/?p=1922"},"modified":"2010-05-20T07:43:53","modified_gmt":"2010-05-20T14:43:53","slug":"how-to-deal-with-haters","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/2010\/05\/how-to-deal-with-haters\/","title":{"rendered":"How to deal with HATERS…."},"content":{"rendered":"

Look, haters SUCK<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

They suck not only in life, but they’ll also suck the life OUT OF YOU<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

It’s a critical life skill to learn how to deal with them.<\/p>\n

In this short collection of tips from Tim Ferris (author of the 4 hour Work Week), you’ll learn how to deal with them philosophically as well as emotionally. (And it’s in a way that I teach, called “verbal Aikido.” Use your enemies’ energy against themselves…)<\/p>\n

______________________<\/p>\n

1. It doesn\u2019t matter how many people don\u2019t get it. What matters is how many people do.
\n<\/strong>
\n\u201cIt\u2019s critical in social media, as in life, to have a clear objective and not to lose sight of that,\u201d Ferriss says. He argues that if your objective is to do the greatest good for the greatest number of people or to change the world in some small way (be it through a product or service), you only need to pick your first 1,000 fans \u2014 and carefully. \u201cAs long as you\u2019re accomplishing your objectives, that 1,000 will lead to a cascading effect,\u201d Ferriss explains. \u201cThe 10 million that don\u2019t get it don\u2019t matter.\u201d<\/p>\n

2. 10% of people will find a way to take anything personally. Expect it.
\n<\/strong>
\n\u201cPeople are least productive in reactive mode,\u201d Ferriss states, before explaining that if you are expecting resistance and attackers, you can choose your response in advance, as opposed to reacting inappropriately. This, Ferriss says, will only multiply the problem. \u201cOnline I see people committing \u2019social media suicide\u2019 all the time by one of two ways. Firstly by responding to all criticism, meaning you\u2019re never going to find time to complete important milestones of your own, and by responding to things that don\u2019t warrant a response.\u201d This, says Ferriss, lends more credibility by driving traffic.<\/p>\n

3. \u201cTrying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity.\u201d (Colin Powell)
\n<\/strong>
\n\u201cIf you treat everyone the same and respond to everyone by apologizing or agreeing, you\u2019re not going to be recognizing the best performers, and you\u2019re not going to be improving the worst performers,\u201d Ferriss says. \u201cThat guarantees you\u2019ll get more behavior you don\u2019t want and less you do.\u201d That doesn\u2019t mean never respond, Ferriss goes on to say, but be \u201ctactical and strategic\u201d when you do.<\/p>\n

4. \u201cIf you are really effective at what you do, 95% of the things said about you will be negative.\u201d (Scott Boras)
\n<\/strong>
\n\u201cThis principle goes hand-in-hand with number two,\u201d Ferriss says. \u201cI actually keep this quote in my wallet because it is a reminder that the best people in almost any field are almost always the people who get the most criticism.\u201d The bigger your impact, explains Ferriss (whose book is a New York Times, WSJ and BusinessWeek bestseller), and the larger the ambition and scale of your project, the more negativity you\u2019ll encounter. Ferriss jokes he has haters \u201cin about 35 languages.\u201d<\/p>\n

5. \u201cIf you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.\u201d (Epictetus)
\n<\/strong>
\n\u201cAnother way to phrase this is through a more recent quote from Elbert Hubbard,\u201d Ferriss says. \u201c\u2018To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.\u201d Ferriss, who holds a Guinness World Record for the most consecutive tango spins, says he has learned to enjoy criticism over the years. Ferriss, using Roman philosophy to expand on his point, says: \u201cCato, who Seneca believed to be the perfect stoic, practiced this by wearing darker robes than was customary and by wearing no tunic. He expected to be ridiculed and he was, he did this to train himself to only be ashamed of those things that are truly worth being ashamed of. To do anything remotely interesting you need to train yourself to be effective at dealing with, responding to, even enjoying criticism\u2026 In fact, I would take the quote a step further and encourage people to actively pursue being thought foolish and stupid.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

6. \u201cLiving well is the best revenge.\u201d (George Herbert)
\n<\/strong>
\n\u201cThe best way to counter-attack a hater is to make it blatantly obvious that their attack has had no impact on you,\u201d Ferriss advises. \u201cThat, and [show] how much fun you\u2019re having!\u201d Ferriss goes on to say that the best revenge is letting haters continue to live with their own resentment and anger, which most of the time has nothing to do with you in particular. \u201cIf a vessel contains acid and you pour some on an object, it\u2019s still the vessel that sustains the most damage,\u201d Ferriss says. \u201cDon\u2019t get angry, don\u2019t get even \u2014 focus on living well and that will eat at them more than anything you can do.\u201d<\/p>\n

7. Keep calm and carry on.
\n<\/strong>
\nThe slogan \u201cKeep Calm and Carry On\u201d was originally produced by the British government during the Second World War as a propaganda message to comfort people in the face of Nazi invasion. Ferriss takes the message and applies it to today\u2019s world. \u201cFocus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,\u201d Ferriss concludes. \u201cKeep calm and carry on!\u201d<\/p>\n

______________________<\/p>\n

CARLOS XUMA COMMENTS:<\/strong><\/p>\n

I love that line: “Actively pursue being thought foolish and stupid.”<\/p>\n

I think that’s something every Alpha Man should do – not through doing DUMB things, but by disconnecting himself rationally from that irrational specter of “I want everyone to like me…”<\/p>\n

The most dangerous of our programmed instincts.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Look, haters SUCK. They suck not only in life, but they’ll also suck the life OUT OF YOU. It’s a critical life skill to learn how to deal with them. In this short collection...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[106,10],"tags":[148],"class_list":["post-1922","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-inner-game","category-alpha-lifestyle-coaching-content","tag-inner-game"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1922","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1922"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1922\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1922"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1922"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1922"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}