{"id":218,"date":"2010-01-08T04:26:53","date_gmt":"2010-01-08T12:26:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/?p=218"},"modified":"2010-01-08T04:26:57","modified_gmt":"2010-01-08T12:26:57","slug":"question-answer-with-carlos-29","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/2010\/01\/question-answer-with-carlos-29\/","title":{"rendered":"Question & Answer with Carlos"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0QUESTION<\/strong>:\u00a0<\/p>\n

Hello Carlos… What is the Alpha way of handling a situtation where another man tries to flirt\/compliment my woman where I am standing next to her?\u00a0<\/p>\n

…That really boils my blood and I want to bomb the guy! I know it is [the] woman … who should point out that she is with me… Any advice?<\/p>\n

Ramin T. – Middle East<\/p>\n

______________________\u00a0<\/p>\n

CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS<\/strong>:\u00a0<\/p>\n

Ramin, this question is one that has very distinct “inner game” and “outer game” parts to it.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Let’s start with my favorite: The INNER<\/strong> Game…\u00a0<\/p>\n

The first thing you have to do is to ask yourself, WHY<\/strong> does this “boil my blood”? Why do I have such a strong reaction to it?\u00a0<\/p>\n

Am I mad at the guy?\u00a0<\/p>\n

Or am I mad at HER<\/strong>?\u00a0<\/p>\n

Most guys have a perfectly natural fierce competitiveness that being a man requires us to have.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Hey, you don’t want your woman to go off with some other man. That would be really crappy, and it’s the worst kind of rejection.\u00a0<\/p>\n

But here’s the reality: You’re mad at him because you don’t feel very secure with your woman – and yourself.\u00a0<\/p>\n

If someone comes along and compliments your car, do you get all crazy-jealous and want to blow the guy up?\u00a0<\/p>\n

No! You feel proud that your tastes are recognized and you’ve got something that other guys want.\u00a0<\/p>\n

But with a woman, there’s this side of you that worries that the next seductive guy that comes along could be the one that your woman decides to “trade-up” for.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Hmmm.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Why would she do that? Is there something you’re missing?\u00a0<\/p>\n

Well here’s what *I* think in these situations:\u00a0<\/p>\n

1) I’m not intimidated by another man’s interest in my woman. In fact, I usually jokingly push my woman TOWARD<\/strong> him. This completely scrambles her radar and gets her more frustrated – and HOT<\/strong> – for me.\u00a0<\/p>\n

2) IF she were to be chasing after some other guy instead of me, I already know that he doesn’t have what I have. I’ve spent a few years cultivating my life into something that I find incredibly fun and cool to be a part of.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Any woman that walks away from me for another guy is a loser in my book. I’m better off with her playing for another team. She obviously can’t appreciate me, and she has no loyalty. Good riddance.\u00a0<\/p>\n

These are the beliefs to have on the inside.\u00a0<\/p>\n

So let’s talk about how this belief system translates into external behavior – The OUTER <\/strong>Game.\u00a0<\/p>\n

If a guy compliments my girlfriend (and I get this ALL the time, and you should be, too, if you’re dating QUALITY<\/strong> women…) I’ll just smile and thank him.\u00a0<\/p>\n

HIM<\/strong> to HER<\/strong>: “Hey, you sure have beautiful eyes!”<\/p>\n

ME<\/strong> to HIM<\/strong>: “Why thank you! Yes she does.”\u00a0<\/p>\n

And I’ll do this in a very non-confrontational, fun kind of way.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Then I’ll make sure that he and I are properly introduced.<\/p>\n

ME<\/strong> to HIM<\/strong>: “Hey, my name’s Carlos.” Extend my hand. “What’s yours?”\u00a0<\/p>\n

Then I’ll introduce him to my girl, and spend a few minutes making this guy my next best friend.<\/p>\n

And all the while, I’m winking at my girl, making little gestures that I think he’s the one for her, thumbs-up, etc.<\/p>\n

She’s loving this, of course. And at some point near the end, I’ll even suggest he get her phone number. I’ll bring it right out in the open.\u00a0<\/p>\n

“You two would actually be pretty cute together… Dude, you should get her number…”\u00a0<\/p>\n

I’m not afraid of losing her, and to throw this out there almost assures that I won’t.\u00a0<\/p>\n

You see, the simple fact is this: In the early part of dating a woman, she won’t point out that she’s with you to other guys, because that would be too obvious to you. And there’s nothing a woman loves more than guys competing over her.\u00a0<\/p>\n

It’s the best kind of test to see what you’re made of. If you’re insecure and jealous, guess what that tells her about you?\u00a0<\/p>\n

So the next time a guy tries to muscle in on your turf, you welcome him in. As the saying goes, “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.”\u00a0<\/p>\n

You won’t have ANYTHING<\/strong> to worry about if you just treat him as if you are completely convinced that losing her would not kill you. After all, you’ve got other women that would LOVE<\/strong> to be with you…<\/p>\n

\u00a0Don’t you?\u00a0<\/p>\n

And this girl is into you because of how you show your confidence and Alpha Power.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Isn’t she?\u00a0<\/p>\n

Well, if not, then maybe you need to learn the Secrets of the Alpha Man…\u00a0<\/p>\n

CARLOS XUMA\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cAlpha Confidence\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

QUESTION: <\/p>\n

Hello Carlos… What is the Alpha way of handling a situtation where another man tries to flirt\/compliment my woman where I am standing next to her? <\/p>\n

…That really boils my blood and I want to bomb the guy! I know it is [the] woman … who should point out that she is with me… Any advice?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,9],"tags":[142],"class_list":["post-218","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-alpha-lifestyle-coaching-content","category-qa","tag-qa"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/218","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=218"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/218\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=218"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=218"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=218"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}