{"id":368,"date":"2010-01-14T21:38:04","date_gmt":"2010-01-15T05:38:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/?p=368"},"modified":"2010-03-09T16:44:01","modified_gmt":"2010-03-10T00:44:01","slug":"q-a-with-carlos-lost-that-loving-feeling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/2010\/01\/q-a-with-carlos-lost-that-loving-feeling\/","title":{"rendered":"Q &#038; A with Carlos: Lost that loving feeling&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>QUESTION:<\/strong> Lost that loving feeling &#8230;<\/p>\n<p>I have been reviewing your material and in a nutshell from what I get from it is as long as you are confident and comfortable talking to women, and making them feel comfortable and making them want to come back and see more of you, you shouldn&#8217;t have a problem. pretty much common sense.<\/p>\n<p>I am very confident in all my abilities, I am a 24 year old university student and aspiring architect, I get excellent grades. I am a part time entrepreneur and I am happy with the money I am making. I have close friends which I know I can trust. I can go out with people and be entertaining. I am emotionally independent. I am in control of most of the aspects of my life. I am grateful for what I have and can achieve.<\/p>\n<p>So far I guess you are wondering why I say you can&#8217;t help me. I am a very ugly man, and if you saw me you would probably say I am right&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>How do I get a beautiful woman or even just an average girl my age to look past the exterior. because what I noticed is a woman has to be at least mildly physically attracted to you for it to ever develop into any balanced relationship&#8230;<br \/>\n______________________<br \/>\n<strong>CARLOS XUMA&#8217;S ADVICE:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I get this question from time to time, and the tone is usually the same: &#8220;My situation is hopeless, I&#8217;ve identified my limiting factor and I&#8217;ll never get past it. Now please tell me how to get past it.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Do you see the contradiction here?<\/p>\n<p>If it really was true that you are too ugly to get a woman, you would have accepted it by now. But there&#8217;s something deep inside you that knows that this isn&#8217;t true.<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s a complete play-by-play on what you need to do to get yourself more success with women.<\/p>\n<p><strong>1) Drop  the negativity, and FAST.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>You think that the ugly part is on the outside,  but it&#8217;s    a bitterness that taints you on the inside, too. And I can tell it by  your    tone. You&#8217;re angry about this.<\/p>\n<p>Instead of getting angry, channel that energy  into <strong>constructive      change<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Ask yourself this: What if my worst suspicions  were true&#8230;    What would I do?<\/p>\n<p>Would I crawl into a hole and die?<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Or would I accept the facts and  figure out a strategy    to overcome it?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>I think you know what the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.alphaconfidence.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Alpha      Man solution<\/strong><\/a> to that problem    is, don&#8217;t you?<\/p>\n<p>2) There are  different forms of confidence. It sounds      like you have some of the externally validated kind, but you don&#8217;t  understand      my concept of &#8220;<strong>ambient    confidence<\/strong>.&#8221; I explain this in my <a href=\"http:\/\/www.alphaconfidence.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Alpha    Man programs<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>But you have to realize that confidence in one  area does not always translate    into another. You must learn <strong>specific skills<\/strong> to be  effective at dating. That    is what you&#8217;ll learn in my programs. I don&#8217;t just tell guys to be  confident    &#8211; I show them <strong>HOW<\/strong> &#8211; along with the things you can do  and say.<\/p>\n<p>The difference is that I teach men <strong>HOW      to be more confident<\/strong>. Not just blowing smoke up your ass  telling you that you just &#8220;need to be confident.&#8221; Or &#8220;just    do it!&#8221; You have to know how to &#8220;do it.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>3) You need to  hold    up against a woman&#8217;s first attempts to brush you off. This is the  significant    turning point of your game where <strong>YOU<\/strong> appear to be    having problems. She will resist you initially, and it&#8217;s how you  handle that    initial resistance that will determine her opinion of you.<\/p>\n<p>Do you make her feel comfortable with herself and  you?<\/p>\n<p>Do you put her at ease?<\/p>\n<p>As a fellow advisor once said, if you at least  put      some effort into grooming and style, you will <strong>AT LEAST<\/strong> be a &#8220;5&#8221; out of &#8220;10&#8221; to      a woman. Everything you do after you open your mouth either raises  that      or lowers that baseline.<\/p>\n<p>Your looks only matter when you let them  overshadow your <strong>confidence      and persuasiveness<\/strong>.    I see ugly guys dating good looking women <strong>ALL THE TIME.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Yes, you say that this is all common sense, but  common sense ain&#8217;t so common,    is it?<\/p>\n<p>I never say you &#8220;shouldn&#8217;t&#8221; have a problem.      Lots of guys do. But it starts with following my game plan for  improving      your own life at the same time.<\/p>\n<p>Pursuing a woman has <strong>NEVER<\/strong> been  the answer.    (At least, the <strong>ONLY<\/strong> answer.)<\/p>\n<p>But becoming an <a href=\"http:\/\/www.alphaconfidence.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Alpha Man<\/strong><\/a> always will be.<\/p>\n<p>And if you want to learn the <strong>Advanced      Communication Strategies<\/strong> that I use to get women  interested and KEEP them interested,      you should look at this: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.alphaconfidence.com\/conversation-persuasion\/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Alpha      Man Conversation &amp; Persuasion<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Chances are,  you&#8217;re placing too much importance  on finding    a woman rather than <strong>finding your purpose<\/strong> here on  this planet.    Paul Coelho describes it as your <strong>Personal Legend<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>I call it your <strong>Alpha Man destiny<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>You must find it &#8211; and <em>it&#8217;s not      a woman<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>But a woman makes a great companion on the  journey! Which    is why I show you how to find this destiny, <strong>AND<\/strong> attract women that you want    into your sphere of <strong>Alpha influence<\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>QUESTION: Lost that loving feeling &#8230;<\/p>\n<p>I have been reviewing your material and in a nutshell from what I get from it is as long as you are confident and comfortable talking to women, and making them feel comfortable and making them want to come back and see more of you, you shouldn&#8217;t have a problem. pretty much common sense.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,47],"tags":[32,50,14],"class_list":["post-368","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-qa","category-silver-members","tag-dating-advice","tag-dating-recommendations-silver-dating-tips-access","tag-dating-tips"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/368","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=368"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/368\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=368"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=368"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=368"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}