{"id":373,"date":"2010-01-14T21:59:19","date_gmt":"2010-01-15T05:59:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/?p=373"},"modified":"2010-03-09T12:35:37","modified_gmt":"2010-03-09T20:35:37","slug":"q-a-with-carlos-dating-advice-for-men-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/2010\/01\/q-a-with-carlos-dating-advice-for-men-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Q & A with Carlos: Dating Advice for Men"},"content":{"rendered":"

QUESTION:<\/strong><\/p>\n

I’ve been listening to the Alpha Conversation & Persuasion CD’s and
\ntrying to do what I hear, and I’ve gotten a good hang of it- I
\nmean, I can see and experience the changes already with the girls
\nand with everyone in general…<\/p>\n

Well, I’ve developed a pipeline of girls to work on and its going
\nwell, I’m talking to them, getting them interested and leaving
\nwhile the interest is high …<\/p>\n

… She was asking me if I needed anything from Starbucks- though I
\nthink that is only part of her ploy to reel me in because we ran
\ninto each other at Starbucks a week ago and had our first bonding
\nchat.<\/p>\n

Anyway- I got the feeling that she wanted to talk to me tonight,
\nbut then something happened when she started talking to someone in
\nfront of me, another girl, about some guy that was calling her for
\na date- and it all of a sudden became girl talk- with no adherence
\nto me being there.<\/p>\n

So, I finally broke in and said I couldn’t stop eavesdropping about
\nit all, but couldn’t hear all that well and if they’d repeat it for
\nme- in jest. They briefly acknowledged me but then got back to [their
\nconversation.] So, I excuse myself and let them have their ‘girl
\ntalk’.<\/p>\n

I then got changed and left work- but as I was leaving I was
\nthinking why I didn’t turn back around and talk to her like I think
\nI wanted to.<\/p>\n

I was wrong somewhere- if so, where?
\n______________________
\nCARLOS XUMA’S ADVICE:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yeah, this is a common situation with guys that rapidly spirals out
\nof control. One minute you’re in an exciting and interesting
\nconversation with a woman, the next minute she’s talking to someone
\nelse and you’re frozen out.<\/p>\n

The key to keeping some women’s interest is to keep the
\nconversation amped up to the level where she won’t be distracted…<\/p>\n

Some people are just plain rude. They get all caught up in
\nthemselves and their conversation, and they fail to bring others
\nback into the conversation.<\/p>\n

There are a couple of techniques for dealing with this. One is to
\nsimply call them on it, like this…<\/p>\n

You say: “That’s rude.”<\/p>\n

They say “What?”<\/p>\n

“Cutting someone out of your conversation like that. Just when we were having fun!”<\/p>\n

OR:<\/p>\n

“Hey, before you guys get going, let me tell you about this crazy thing that happened to me …”<\/p>\n

Deliver it with a little humorous or fun edge so they don’t think you’re trying to be a dick. You have to be socially aware here so that you don’t constantly push your way into a conversation where they are deliberately trying to keep you out.<\/p>\n

I had this come up for me at an event on Wednesday night. I walked over and just sat down to talk with a couple women that were talking. One of them was being a little bitchy and distant, playing ego games, and she was doing her best to push me out. The other gal was sweet and nice, and wasn’t pushing me out. Even though they weren’t including me, I sat there in their conversation, sipping my water, TOTALLY CONFIDENT<\/strong> in who I was and that I was justified<\/em> being there.<\/p>\n

Now this is something they weren’t used to, because after a while, they started to pull me back in. You see, I wasn’t nervous or giving off a vibe of the clueless guy. I was comfortable in my own space<\/strong> and my own silence. (If you want to learn this skill, read on and I’ll tell you more about how.)<\/p>\n

If the women that you’re trying to talk to get indignant, hey, you just successfully screened out a gal that would have mistreated you and given you hell down the road. Congratulations!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

QUESTION:<\/p>\n

I’ve been listening to the Alpha Conversation & Persuasion CD’s and
\ntrying to do what I hear, and I’ve gotten a good hang of it- I
\nmean, I can see and experience the changes already with the girls
\nand with everyone in general…<\/p>\n

Well, I’ve developed a pipeline of girls to work on and its going
\nwell, I’m talking to them, getting them interested and leaving
\nwhile the interest is high …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,47],"tags":[32,52,53,54],"class_list":["post-373","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-qa","category-silver-members","tag-dating-advice","tag-dating-recommendations","tag-dating-tips-for-men","tag-silver-members-dating-tips-access"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/373","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=373"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/373\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=373"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=373"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=373"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}