{"id":387,"date":"2010-01-15T01:46:38","date_gmt":"2010-01-15T09:46:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/?p=387"},"modified":"2010-03-08T15:30:59","modified_gmt":"2010-03-08T23:30:59","slug":"qa-with-carlos","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/2010\/01\/qa-with-carlos\/","title":{"rendered":"Question & Answer with Carlos"},"content":{"rendered":"

QUESTION:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hiya Carlos, this is Alek from the Belgrade seminar.<\/p>\n

Personally I used to have little success, then got some success, then got misogynistic, then had a big period of pausing and depression.<\/p>\n

Now having recovered from that depression period. I am back on the fast curve, and so is my friend. Now, the more women we’re meeting, getting numbers from, the more misogynistic we’re getting.<\/p>\n

All those ideas of “WOMEN<\/strong> are such c*nts!”, “Why can’t they appreciate more of what we do” “It’s so fucking EASY for them … ” “all they do is show up, and get whatever they want, and we have to do all this work”.<\/p>\n

We even get images of verbally and\u00a0 EVEN <\/strong> physically putting down women. All they do is complain about how men don’t get it, and mock men for being “clods”. All I want is some “RESPECT”. It’s ok to not want what we men are offering, but at least be respectful about the role we men are playing.<\/p>\n

Got any tips? \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

______________________<\/strong><\/p>\n

CARLOS XUMA’S ADVICE:<\/strong><\/p>\n

I think Billy Joel said it best:<\/p>\n

“Then she’ll carelessly cut you
\nAnd laugh while you’re bleedin’
\nBut she’ll bring out the best
\nAnd the worst you can be
\nBlame it all on yourself
\nCause she’s always a woman to me…”<\/em><\/p>\n

Blame it all on yourself, because she’s just being her nature<\/em>. You must be better than your nature AND<\/strong> hers by acting based on principle and honor<\/strong> rather than emotional reaction, or a desire for results.<\/p>\n

You see, right now, you’re placing the blame on someone else’s behavior<\/strong>. You’re presuming that it’s their fault for being who they are. Women in every culture will take advantage of the benefits that suit them, and you should be taking advantage of the benefits that suit the men.<\/p>\n

Sometimes the burden of self-awareness<\/strong> is a lot to bear…<\/p>\n

But what is the alternative?<\/p>\n

Give up?<\/em><\/p>\n

Stay angry at something you can’t change?<\/p>\n

Do we get mad because “it always gets me wet when it f*cking rains!”<\/p>\n

Oh. Poor you. Go buy an umbrella.<\/p>\n

“But the weather won’t appreciate that I’ve bought the umbrella! I want to be respected for spending the money to use that umbrella!”<\/em><\/p>\n

Do you see how nutty this sounds? So why should we expect this from someone who has no idea what it’s like from our side? A woman can be as oblivious to your efforts as the weather is to you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Let’s get back to the reality here. It’s NOT<\/strong> so easy for women in most all other areas. You may think that having men that they can have support them is a great break, but really it just obligates them to men<\/strong> rather than allowing them to lead.<\/p>\n

YOU<\/strong> get to lead! You get to choose your path in life! You get to take on the world and chase your passion and purpose!<\/p>\n

That beats the crap out of waiting for guys to approach<\/strong> you in a crowded and smokey club, right?<\/p>\n

When you get angry and lash out, it’s just showing poor emotional control<\/strong>. You need to get back to understanding your own personal power and strengths. You’re in a pit of desperate desire for affirmation outside yourself<\/strong>. That’s why you can’t be happy. You’ve given control of your happiness over to someone else to either affirm or destroy.<\/p>\n

How crazy is that?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hiya Carlos, this is Alek from the Belgrade seminar.<\/p>\n

Personally I used to have little success, then got some success, then got misogynistic, then had a big period of pausing and depression.<\/p>\n

Now having recovered from that depression period. I am back on the fast curve, and so is my friend. Now, the more women we’re meeting, getting numbers from, the more misogynistic we’re getting.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,47],"tags":[32,52,58,54],"class_list":["post-387","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-qa","category-silver-members","tag-dating-advice","tag-dating-recommendations","tag-dating-tips-for-guys","tag-silver-members-dating-tips-access"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/387","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=387"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/387\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=387"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=387"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=387"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}