Hey, I’ve been reading some more of the mail you guys are sending in, and the great questions you’ve got about approaching women in the day\u2026<\/p>\n
One of the biggest question that guys have is simply this:<\/p>\n
“How do I get rid of my approach anxiety?”<\/p>\n
Now that’s a huge question. In fact, it was so big that it inspired me to create a whole system to get you past it. I can’t cover it all in one email\u2026<\/p>\n
BUT I am going to target one question that focuses on one part of this problem. I think you’re going to get a lot out of this if you pay close attention\u2026<\/p>\n
So, what is the fastest way to force the anxiety of approaching out? How do I fight your way past your fear?<\/p>\n
Let me explain it like this\u2026<\/p>\n
As you already know, I’m a student of language, because we all THINK<\/strong> in language.<\/p>\n I grew up in America, and I speak English, and all my thoughts are in English.<\/p>\n So when I think, I’m limited to the concepts that the English language is built on.<\/p>\n If this sounds weird, just think about it this way: In English, we put adjectives (the words that describe something) in FRONT<\/strong> of the word we are describing.<\/p>\n So if I say I’ve got a LONG<\/strong>\u2026<\/p>\n \u2026<\/p>\n HARD<\/strong><\/p>\n \u2026<\/p>\n CRUSTY<\/strong><\/p>\n \u2026<\/p>\n OLD<\/strong><\/p>\n sandwich roll\u2026<\/p>\n What did you think as you were waiting to get to the “sandwich roll” part?<\/p>\n Your mind had time to make up a lot of stuff there, didn’t it?<\/p>\n And for many of the languages of the world, adjectives DO NOT come first, so people who think with the nouns first don’t imagine the same things.<\/p>\n Okay, this is a lot of what “NLP<\/strong>” or “neuro-linguistic programming” is based on.<\/p>\n So let’s get back to your question about “forcing the anxiety out” and “fighting past your fear.”<\/p>\n What kind of images do those words create in your brain?<\/p>\n Force\u2026 Fight\u2026<\/p>\n All you see is CONFLIC<\/strong>T. Struggle!<\/p>\n And what you end up doing is FIGHTING<\/strong> something instead of learning how to work WITH<\/strong> its energy.<\/p>\n This is the foundational principle of a great many Martial Arts.<\/p>\n When force meets force, you have a battle of wills.<\/p>\n AND – when you think in terms of conflict and fighting – what is it you must assume to believe that you have a fight?<\/p>\n You must believe you have an ENEMY<\/strong>.<\/p>\n In other words, if I believe I’ve got a fight on my hands, I simply MUST<\/strong> have an opponent – an adversary to fight.<\/p>\n When you assume you have to fight “approach anxiety” you actually give your enemy more power over you.<\/p>\n You start to imagine your enemy in all kinds of detail. You see his armor, and his weapons, and his intimidating battle stance\u2026<\/p>\n You hear his words of doubt whispering in your ear\u2026<\/p>\n You feel him holding you back when you see a woman you want to talk to\u2026<\/p>\n Look, I’ll be the first to admit that this fear is VERY<\/strong> real. You DO<\/strong> feel it, and it does exist. I’m not saying it’s a figment of your imagination.<\/p>\n But what if the fear had nothing to do with the approach?<\/p>\n What if it was something else you could actually control?<\/p>\n This falls under the category of self-limiting beliefs, because we’re giving more power to our “enemy” by pretending that he’s something we need to fight.<\/p>\n What if your Approach Anxiety was clown? Dressed in a ridiculous outfit?<\/p>\n And he’s carrying around a bag of pretzels that he keeps pushing up his nose\u2026<\/p>\n And every time he tries to talk you out of approaching, he rips a wicked fart\u2026<\/p>\n What do you think of your enemy now?<\/p>\n Not so scary, huh?<\/p>\n In fact, he’s downright laughable.<\/p>\n Here’s the most important step you can take to get past your approach anxiety:<\/p>\n STOP ARGUING *FOR* YOUR LIMITATIONS<\/strong><\/p>\n Let me give you another metaphor to work with here\u2026<\/p>\n When I was first starting to learn guitar, I had all kinds of reasons why I thought I’d suck at the guitar.<\/p>\n – My fingers were thin\u2026<\/p>\n – My hands were weak\u2026<\/p>\n – I was confused by all the frets and strings and combinations\u2026<\/p>\n – I couldn’t possibly play as good as those guys I heard on the radio\u2026<\/p>\n As I started to learn and apply myself, I found that playing guitar was actually pretty easy. All my perceived limitations were all wrong.<\/p>\n – My thin fingers served me because I could play complicated scales and chords easier than if my fingers were “normal” sized\u2026<\/p>\n – My hands got stronger in just 2 weeks of playing\u2026<\/p>\n – I spent study hall in school just re-writing the scales on the fretboard so that I would memorize them faster\u2026<\/p>\n And so on.<\/p>\n What I see is that guys will argue for – and give all their power over to the belief that is holding them back – their own fear of approaching\u2026<\/p>\n Arguing for your limitations sounds like this:<\/p>\n – “But\u2026 I think that women are scared of men\u2026 they don’t want us to approach them\u2026”<\/p>\n – “But \u2026 what about the women that just want us to approach to get compliments?”<\/p>\n – “But \u2026 I think that women are just being polite when guys approach\u2026”<\/p>\n – “But what about\u2026?”<\/p>\n – “But\u2026 But\u2026 But\u2026”<\/p>\n The list goes on and on.<\/p>\n If you want to, you can keep giving your anxiety more and more power by finding reasons to believe in it even more\u2026 KEEP<\/strong> coming up with those “Buts.”<\/p>\n Or you can accept that arguing for your enemy is what’s really holding you back, and just agree to not fuel it with any more of your fear.<\/p>\n Can you imagine how that would change your perception of the fear?<\/p>\n Stay tuned\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Hey, I’ve been reading some more of the mail you guys are sending in, and the great questions you’ve got about approaching women in the day\u2026<\/p>\n One of the biggest question that guys have is simply this:<\/p>\n “How do I get rid of my approach anxiety?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,10,47],"tags":[144,143],"class_list":["post-652","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","category-alpha-lifestyle-coaching-content","category-silver-members","tag-articles","tag-alpha-lifestyle-coaching-content"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/652","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=652"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/652\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=652"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=652"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=652"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}