{"id":659,"date":"2010-01-26T10:49:24","date_gmt":"2010-01-26T18:49:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/?p=659"},"modified":"2012-07-06T08:19:50","modified_gmt":"2012-07-06T15:19:50","slug":"why-your-techniques-arent-working-is-it-killing-your-game","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/2010\/01\/why-your-techniques-arent-working-is-it-killing-your-game\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Your Techniques Aren&#8217;t Working &#8211; Is it killing your &#8220;game&#8221;?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>You need to free yourself from the shackles of technique.<\/p>\n<p>Why would I say this?<\/p>\n<p>I give out a shitload of techniques because they do help you out.<\/p>\n<p>Training wheels, right? That&#8217;s how they&#8217;re supposed to be used, but that analogy doesn&#8217;t begin to cover it.<\/p>\n<p>Techniques have a <strong>MUCH<\/strong> deeper impact on your game than you realize.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m going to tell you first about &#8220;The Gap.&#8221; I spoke about this concept at the seminar in Montreal, and I want to pass this on to you right now so that you won&#8217;t be lost down the path of &#8220;Lonely Pickup Artist.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Techniques fulfill an important purpose that many guys don&#8217;t realize.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Techniques allow you to be another person, to leave behind the faulty belief systems, damaged self-confidence, and other limiting behaviors and step into the shoes of your alter ego. It&#8217;s a bit like putting on a super hero outfit and becoming Spider-man or Batman.<\/p>\n<p>Just like Halloween, for a few hours, you can let go of all that crap in your head and just play the part.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>&#8220;Hey ladies, who lies more\u2026&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;That reminds me of when I was in Europe and I met this\u2026&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;You know, you have a really great energy about you\u2026&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Have you ever heard of the Cube?&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Yadda yadda yadda.<\/p>\n<p>Eventually, though, the clever dialogue runs out, doesn&#8217;t it?<\/p>\n<p>It <strong>ALWAYS<\/strong> does. The first part of most guy&#8217;s outer game is just staying in set long enough to make it go somewhere deeper than a phone number. I see this as being the biggest developmental hurdle for most guys at my seminars.<\/p>\n<p>Techniques allow you to escape yourself a little bit, but guess what?<\/p>\n<p><strong>You can never escape yourself forever. Like they say, wherever you go, there you are.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>And The Gap hits you in the face when you&#8217;ve been chatting and running routines, and running kino, and eventually you feel the space between this pickup persona you&#8217;ve been crafting for yourself, and the <strong>REAL<\/strong> man inside you.<\/p>\n<p>You see, your mind knows when you&#8217;re playing this alter ego, and when you&#8217;re true to yourself.<\/p>\n<p>Even though it sounds like I&#8217;m dismissing the use of techniques, I&#8217;m not. I&#8217;m warning guys about the over-use and reliance on schtick and routines to carry their personality.<\/p>\n<p>Just like drugs, it&#8217;s easy to become so over-dependent on this false persona that you wake up one day and realize you were being a one-dimensional guy.<\/p>\n<p>Trust me when I say that all the (you-know-what between a woman&#8217;s legs) in the world cannot help your cataclysmic meltdown when you build a lifestyle on such a superficial and fragile belief system.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s like the woman who&#8217;s a 9 or a 10 waking up one way with crow&#8217;s feet in her eyes, and a saggy, aging body. Her self-confidence crashes horribly as she realizes she never had any <strong>REALIZED<\/strong> inner value. It was all based on the junk bonds of her appearance.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, your &#8220;techniques&#8221; can be made into yourself, and they MUST if this skill of attraction is to stick. But eventually, all guys feel the need to get back to who you <strong>REALLY<\/strong> are. We can only be an actor for so long before it haunts you.<\/p>\n<p>You know what\u2026 ?<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s coming, guys.<\/p>\n<p>There will be a day very soon when women are well versed in the lines and the standard openers, and your &#8220;game&#8221; will be over faster than the XFL.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, if you haven&#8217;t been caught yet, you probably haven&#8217;t been approaching women in the real world as much as you should. (i.e., outside a loud, alcohol saturated bar environment.)<\/p>\n<p>So here&#8217;s how you bridge that great divide between the &#8220;pickup artist&#8221; and the &#8220;<strong>REAL Alpha Man<\/strong>&#8221; inside you:<\/p>\n<p><strong>1) Stop using techniques that are working great for you.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Why would I say this?<\/p>\n<p>Because it&#8217;s not the technique or the &#8220;opening line&#8221; that&#8217;s working for you.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s only your belief, polish, and confidence in it that makes it work.<\/p>\n<p>What you need to do is substitute something of YOU that you can pull off with the same attitude and frame. When you accomplish this, you&#8217;ll really have transcended &#8220;pickup artist&#8221; and become an Alpha Man.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2) When you can open sets consistently, Start asking questions that REALLY matter to you.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Stop opening conversations with mindless fluff like &#8220;Who lies more&#8221; and others like it. Especially if you have no real concern except for the outcome of getting her started talking to you.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s time to put a few more plates on the barbells.<\/p>\n<p>Tap into your inner beliefs and desires to come up with things that you <strong>REALLY<\/strong> want to know about her. Find your real curiosity for what makes her tick.<\/p>\n<p>My social worker ex-girlfriend used to call this &#8220;breaking them down&#8221; and it&#8217;s a priceless method of cutting through the social B.S. and demonstrating your Independent Value.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve had incredible experiences seducing a woman&#8217;s soul instead of just trying to trigger a few unstable defense mechanisms by making her feel insecure.<\/p>\n<p>True confidence is when you walk up and open a group without saying a single word. Try it for yourself.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3) Start exposing your TRUE personality when you go out there.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This is what I called demonstrating vulnerability. Having the personal power to show your own emotional depth is ten times more authentic and sincere. And women KNOW it.<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;ll find yourself achieving new levels of at traction with women that will make your old makeout-in-the-bar situations sound as lame as a George Lucas love dialogue.<\/p>\n<p>The one thing that vulnerability demonstrates is POWER. This is the little known factor that most guys miss because they&#8217;re locked into &#8220;insecurity armor&#8221; mode. This is where he is too busy protecting his insecurities and lack of confidence with his bravado.<\/p>\n<p>(Bravado is nothing more than simulated courage.)<\/p>\n<p><strong>Get past technique so that you can create your own style of masculine identity.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You need to free yourself from the shackles of technique.<\/p>\n<p>Why would I say this?<\/p>\n<p>I give out a shitload of techniques because they do help you out.<\/p>\n<p>Training wheels, right? That&#8217;s how they&#8217;re supposed to be used, but that analogy doesn&#8217;t begin to cover it.<\/p>\n<p>Techniques have a MUCH deeper impact on your game than you realize.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m going to tell you first about &#8220;The Gap.&#8221; I spoke about this concept at the seminar in Montreal, and I want to pass this on to you right now so that you won&#8217;t be lost down the path of &#8220;Lonely Pickup Artist.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,10,47],"tags":[144,143],"class_list":["post-659","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","category-alpha-lifestyle-coaching-content","category-silver-members","tag-articles","tag-alpha-lifestyle-coaching-content"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/659","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=659"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/659\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=659"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=659"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=659"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}