{"id":690,"date":"2010-01-26T12:18:47","date_gmt":"2010-01-26T20:18:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/?p=690"},"modified":"2012-07-06T08:18:14","modified_gmt":"2012-07-06T15:18:14","slug":"mix-her-into-your-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/2010\/01\/mix-her-into-your-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Mix her into your life&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Hey, it&#8217;s <strong>Carlos<\/strong> here\u2026<\/p>\n<p>I had some thoughts this morning that I wanted to share with you\u2026<\/p>\n<p>You know, a lot of guys are ashamed (secretly) of their own lives. It&#8217;s not overt, but it&#8217;s there. And it causes incredible problems with their ability to build attraction and confidence socially.<\/p>\n<p>Ask yourself these questions:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Have you ever felt like you couldn&#8217;t share a part of your life with a woman because she would think you were weird?<\/li>\n<li>Have you ever thought of yourself as &#8220;geeky&#8221; or &#8220;nerdy&#8221;?<\/li>\n<li>Have you ever felt like there was &#8216;nothing special&#8217; about your life that a woman would be interested in?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Well, let me tell you a couple things:<\/p>\n<p><strong>1) Feel a little weird?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Everyone has a part of their lives that they think of as kind of &#8220;strange&#8221; or &#8220;weird.&#8221;<br \/>\n<strong>EVERYONE<\/strong>. Which means this is an excellent place to create rapport and deep bonding.<\/p>\n<p>Just find a way to talk about the weird things in your life (showing her that you recognize that it&#8217;s a little weird), and then get her to confess to her weirdness.<\/p>\n<p>This works like you wouldn&#8217;t believe.<\/p>\n<p><strong>YOU<\/strong>: &#8220;So I have to admit, I was once on the honor roll at school. But I wore a leather jacket, so my friends never gave me a hard time. What&#8217;s something that no one knows about your high school days?&#8221;<br \/>\n<strong>HER<\/strong>: &#8220;Well, I&#8217;ll make a confession. I used to skip my last class every few days so I could get a ride home where my girlfriends and I would watch our soap operas.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>A little cross-disclosure like this will create a feeling of strong rapport.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2) You&#8217;re a little geeky?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Let me tell you, everyone has a geeky interest of some kind.<\/p>\n<p>You want to know mine?<\/p>\n<p>How about: Star Trek, fantasy role playing games (only on my Sony PSP), and astrophysics. I also get a little wood when I see pictures taken from the surface of other planets.<\/p>\n<p>Dorky? You bet.<\/p>\n<p>But let me tell you this: Every girl has a geeky interest that <strong>SHE<\/strong> would be embarrassed to talk about, but once you get it out of her, she&#8217;s clay in your hands. She won&#8217;t be able to resist you because you&#8217;ll have gotten past her icy persona that was created to keep the weak men away.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve been able to convert several girlfriends over to Star Trek &#8211; The Next Generation simply by explaining that it&#8217;s a soap opera in space. Conflict, romance, and the occasional tentacled Centaurian. The second I reframe it like this, it spikes their curiosity.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3) Nothing special about you?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Everyone has an interesting life. You just find your own life a little dull because you&#8217;ve been living with it your <strong>WHOLE LIFE<\/strong>. Spend 20 or 30 years in the same mind and body and it all seems so dull after a while.<\/p>\n<p>But I guarantee you that if you spent a few moments thinking back on your life, you&#8217;d come up with some great stuff. All you need is a short anecdote about your childhood (how you got in trouble usually makes a very cool story) and you&#8217;re on your way.<\/p>\n<p>(I also cover other ways of developing cool life stories in the Alpha Man program.)<\/p>\n<p>All of your fears are <strong>COMPLETELY NORMAL<\/strong>. But we&#8217;re afraid to expose them because it would make us <strong>VULNERABLE<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Let me tell you something else:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Vulnerability is VERY cool.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>You see, a lot of the &#8220;hardcore&#8221; pickup guys might tell you that you need to be super dominant, show her high social proof and strength. They&#8217;re right \u2026 to a degree.<\/p>\n<p>But the one thing a woman recognizes up front is that only the strong man can be vulnerable.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s a little dilemma of logic that you don&#8217;t need to worry about. All you have to do is <strong>WORK<\/strong> it.<\/p>\n<p>How do you use this knowledge to your advantage?<\/p>\n<p>Next time you&#8217;re out and talking to women &#8211; and while you&#8217;re in the process of building attraction through my strategies &#8211; take a second to tell her something about your past that is a little (and I mean just a LITTLE) funny and embarrassing.<\/p>\n<p>This will show that you don&#8217;t take yourself too seriously, and it will show her that your ego (the big killer of relationships for guys) isn&#8217;t going to run amok.<\/p>\n<p>For example, I like to work with the obvious: I&#8217;m thin.<\/p>\n<p>Athletic and strong, but thin.<\/p>\n<p>So I will tell a woman: &#8220;You know when I was a kid, I was really skinny. My mom used to say that I had to run around in the shower to get wet.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Or: &#8220;My mom used to tell me I was so skinny, if I turned sideways, I&#8217;d disappear.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s cute and it&#8217;s a little self-deprecating (not self-insulting, and never put yourself down to get pity.)<\/p>\n<p>You see how this works?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Your limitations are almost ALWAYS a key to stronger game with women.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I can guarantee you that there&#8217;s nothing about you (including disabilities and physical limitations) that someone else hasn&#8217;t turned into something positive for their game with women.<\/p>\n<p><strong>NOTHING<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nada<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, thinking that you have limitations is really a cop-out. Because while you&#8217;re curled up on the couch with a box of tissue and crying about the fact that you can&#8217;t attract women because you&#8217;re \u2026<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u2026 too fat<\/li>\n<li>\u2026 too thing<\/li>\n<li>\u2026 too poor<\/li>\n<li>\u2026 too old<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>WHATEVER\u2026<\/p>\n<p>While you&#8217;re focused on that crap, you&#8217;re really just giving yourself an <strong>excuse to NOT TAKE ACTION<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s always easier to give up than put your energy into winning.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hey, it&#8217;s Carlos here\u2026<\/p>\n<p>I had some thoughts this morning that I wanted to share with you\u2026<\/p>\n<p>You know, a lot of guys are ashamed (secretly) of their own lives. It&#8217;s not overt, but it&#8217;s there. And it causes incredible problems with their ability to build attraction and confidence socially.<\/p>\n<p>Ask yourself these questions:<\/p>\n<p>    * Have you ever felt like you couldn&#8217;t share a part of your life with a woman because she would think you were weird?<br \/>\n    * Have you ever thought of yourself as &#8220;geeky&#8221; or &#8220;nerdy&#8221;?<br \/>\n    * Have you ever felt like there was &#8216;nothing special&#8217; about your life that a woman would be interested in?<\/p>\n<p>Well, let me tell you a couple things:<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,10,47],"tags":[144,143],"class_list":["post-690","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","category-alpha-lifestyle-coaching-content","category-silver-members","tag-articles","tag-alpha-lifestyle-coaching-content"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/690","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=690"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/690\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=690"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=690"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=690"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}