{"id":762,"date":"2010-02-01T13:59:15","date_gmt":"2010-02-01T21:59:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/?p=762"},"modified":"2012-07-06T08:15:16","modified_gmt":"2012-07-06T15:15:16","slug":"how-to-vibe-with-a-woman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/2010\/02\/how-to-vibe-with-a-woman\/","title":{"rendered":"How to “VIBE” With A Woman"},"content":{"rendered":"

AND SILENCE THAT VOICE IN YOUR HEAD\u2026
\n<\/strong>
\nHey, before I get started today, I want to let you know about
\nsomething new I\u2019ve been working on\u2026<\/p>\n

It\u2019s something that guys have been asking me about for a couple
\nyears now, and I\u2019m going to be the first one to be able to let you
\nin on it.<\/p>\n

Stay tuned for more information coming VERY<\/strong> soon.<\/p>\n

Now this week, I\u2019m inviting the Skeptic in on our question. The
\nSkeptic is the guy that is hiding out in your brain and trying to
\nstop you from succeeding. Mostly because he\u2019s stuck with some old,
\nunsuccessful herd-mentality beliefs.<\/p>\n

I decided I\u2019d let him in on this discussion so you can hear how I
\nhandle him in my own brain when he starts to talk me out of what I
\nwant to do. Maybe that will help you shut him down in your own
\nmind\u2026<\/p>\n

QUESTION ABOUT THE \u201cVIBE\u201d:
\n<\/strong>
\nDear Carlos:<\/p>\n

I have been reading your newsletter and the complementary book from
\nyour website, and I have found it very useful.<\/p>\n

However, though I have no trouble approaching any woman I want, I
\nhave one question I\u2019d like to ask: Some women I have approached
\nwere some how taken back when I speak to them, like they are
\nintimidated of me (I\u2019m 5\u20328\u2033, well built and always came across as
\nbeing confident and sure of myself) and some women says I sent
\nacross a \u201cstand-offish\u201d vibe when I am talking to them.<\/p>\n

Is this a bad thing? And what does it mean by \u201cstand-offish\u201d vibe?<\/p>\n

Thank you for your help.<\/p>\n

Simon from Australia
\n______________________
\nCARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:
\n<\/strong>
\nLet\u2019s keep in mind that \u201cbad\u201d is a subjective judgment. What\u2019s bad
\nfor you is not necessarily \u201cbad\u201d for me. And vice-versa.<\/p>\n

However, in this case where a woman is interpreting this as
\n\u201cstand-offish\u201d, most men would probably agree that this is \u201cbad.\u201d
\nPrimarily because you are not CONNECTING with the women you are
\napproaching and that\u2019s keeping you from your goal.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re failing to \u201cvibe\u201d with her.<\/p>\n

This is something to take care of now, because even if you have no
\nanxiety approaching women now, if you don\u2019t re-calibrate your
\napproach to women with more skill, you\u2019ll soon get really tired of
\nNOT getting results, and it will begin to take its toll on your
\nattitude.<\/p>\n

SKEPTIC<\/strong>: \u201cWhat do you mean? My attitude is just fine\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Yeah, I\u2019ve seen this happen with guys, where they were once fresh,
\nhappy approachers, only they turned to bitter, angry avoiders when
\nthey didn\u2019t find the right sexual \u201ckey\u201d to open her lock.<\/p>\n

So let\u2019s get this taken care of right now.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s my initial guess as to what is happening with your
\napproaches and why you\u2019re not \u201cvibing\u201d\u2026<\/p>\n

You\u2019re calibration is off.<\/p>\n

SKEPTIC<\/strong>: \u201cWhat the heck does THAT mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

Well, in simplest terms, it means that you are probably more
\nfocused on how you\u2019re presenting yourself with \u201cconfidence,\u201d and
\nyou\u2019re probably coming on too strong.<\/p>\n

Women do want confidence in a man, but first and foremost is that
\nshe believes she can have a CONNECTION<\/strong> with you. THAT is her
\npriority.<\/p>\n

In other words, your priority is not to show confidence. Just by
\napproaching her you\u2019ve done that.<\/p>\n

I used to have this problem, too. I was so focused on how *I* was
\ndoing that I didn\u2019t have a clue about how *she* was doing\u2026 or
\nthinking, or feeling.<\/p>\n

As a result, I got all MY objectives completed (approach, check\u2026
\nget her name, check\u2026 get her phone number, check\u2026) but I wasn\u2019t
\ngetting HER goals completed.<\/p>\n

SKEPTIC<\/strong>: \u201cWhat else is missing? Isn\u2019t that enough?\u201d<\/p>\n

No. I wasn\u2019t checking in and being present and making it a TWO-way
\nexperience.<\/p>\n

BIG MISTAKE.
\n<\/em>
\nAnd when it comes right down to it, a woman is not going to want to
\nsee you again if YOU are the only one who enjoyed the approach.
\nShe\u2019s got to feel like there was something special and unique there
\nbetween the two of you.<\/p>\n

SKEPTIC<\/strong>: \u201cYeah, but isn\u2019t that something that\u2019s just \u2018chemistry\u2019?
\nYou can\u2019t control that\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Not true. You can make a woman feel that magic, and you\u2019ll be
\namazed to discover just how little it takes to create that \u201cunique\u201d
\nsensation. Hang on and I\u2019ll tell you how\u2026<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the sad reality: Most guys have an extremely difficult time
\nestablishing that connection when they first meet a woman.<\/p>\n

Again, it\u2019s primarily because they\u2019re thinking about the approach
\nas a \u201cget\u201d experience instead of a \u201cgive\u201d experience. They\u2019re so
\nbusy thinking about getting from her that they fail to give her the
\nexperience she\u2019s looking for.<\/p>\n

SKEPTIC<\/strong>: \u201cSo enough about all this give\/get crap\u2026 How do I make
\nthis connection?\u201d<\/p>\n

The key to not seeming stand-offish and getting this connection is
\ndeceptively simple. It\u2019s so easy, that you\u2019ll be tempted to ignore
\nit.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s this\u2026<\/p>\n

Just be a little VULNERABLE<\/strong> in the first few minutes of meeting her.<\/p>\n

SKEPTIC<\/strong>: \u201cVulnerable? C\u2019mon, I don\u2019t want to turn into a wuss to
\nimpress a woman\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Damn straight you don\u2019t. And I will never tell you to be less than
\na man for a woman.<\/p>\n

But the ultimate statement of confidence that a man can make is
\nwhen he is strong enough to show that he can be vulnerable. This is
\none of the most effective methods of capturing a woman\u2019s attention.<\/p>\n

You see, \u201cbravado\u201d is fake courage. Women can smell this faster
\nthan your cheap cologne.<\/p>\n

But when you reveal a vulnerability to a woman in the right way,
\nshe knows this is genuine and authentic. And she\u2019ll be spellbound.<\/p>\n

When you do it right, she\u2019ll be telling her girlfriends: \u201cThere was
\njust something about him\u2026 I can\u2019t explain it\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

SKEPTIC<\/strong>: \u201cCarlos, that\u2019s too simple. There has to be a really cool
\ntechnique to make her feel connected to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Yeah, I know you want to have a more clever, more complicated
\nTECHNICAL trick up your sleeve, but this one is ten times easier,
\nand ten times more deadly.<\/p>\n

And you can\u2019t fake sincerity, my friend.<\/p>\n

SKEPTIC<\/strong>: \u201c\u2026..\u201d<\/p>\n

Yeah, I thought that might shut you down.<\/p>\n

Look, being vulnerable doesn\u2019t mean being a wuss. It means simply
\nshowing her that you\u2019re strong enough to not have to hide yourself
\nbehind bragging and a fake front.<\/p>\n

And the stronger your vibe is up front, the more it\u2019s required for
\nthe woman to sense this or she\u2019ll just think you\u2019re another aggro
\nguy that\u2019s boorish and boring.<\/p>\n

HERE\u2019S MY KILLER METHOD OF
\nDISPLAYING VULNERABILITY:
\n<\/strong>
\nThe best way to show this is to reveal what she already knows \u2013 or
\nWANTS<\/strong> to know.<\/p>\n

You could say:<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, I have to admit, even though I was a little shy at first, I
\nknew I had to come over and talk to you. My name is\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

OR
\n<\/strong>
\n\u201cI was about to walk away, but you had this great energy about you,
\nand I just knew I\u2019d kick myself if I didn\u2019t come over and say hi.\u201d<\/p>\n

In both of those examples, I\u2019m saying that I\u2019m not some player
\nthat\u2019s out to collect another phone number. I\u2019m a guy who has
\nfeelings, and I risked a little to come over and start this
\nconversation.<\/p>\n

It should be real and authentic, which this usually is for most
\nguys. Every guy risks a little something to talk to a woman he
\nfinds attractive, right?<\/p>\n

So use that as part of your approach and you\u2019ll probably find that
\nmost women will not find you so \u201cstand offish\u201d anymore.<\/p>\n

If you really focus on the connection between you and her, and this
\nwill rarely happen at all.<\/p>\n

And while I commend you for starting to get this area of your life
\nfinally handled by getting my newsletter, you\u2019ll probably want to
\ntake the next step on the path. Don\u2019t stop here.<\/p>\n

If there\u2019s anyone or anything in this world that\u2019s worth investing
\nin, and will give you benefits for the rest of your life, you need
\nto invest in YOURSELF<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Give yourself the gift that keeps on giving\u2026<\/p>\n

Give yourself the Alpha Lifestyle<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

AND SILENCE THAT VOICE IN YOUR HEAD\u2026<\/p>\n

Hey, before I get started today, I want to let you know about
\nsomething new I\u2019ve been working on\u2026<\/p>\n

It\u2019s something that guys have been asking me about for a couple
\nyears now, and I\u2019m going to be the first one to be able to let you
\nin on it.<\/p>\n

Stay tuned for more information coming VERY soon.<\/p>\n

Now this week, I\u2019m inviting the Skeptic in on our question. The
\nSkeptic is the guy that is hiding out in your brain and trying to
\nstop you from succeeding. Mostly because he\u2019s stuck with some old,
\nunsuccessful herd-mentality beliefs.<\/p>\n

I decided I\u2019d let him in on this discussion so you can hear how I
\nhandle him in my own brain when he starts to talk me out of what I
\nwant to do. Maybe that will help you shut him down in your own
\nmind\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,10,47],"tags":[144,143],"class_list":["post-762","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","category-alpha-lifestyle-coaching-content","category-silver-members","tag-articles","tag-alpha-lifestyle-coaching-content"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/762","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=762"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/762\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=762"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=762"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=762"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}