{"id":87,"date":"2010-01-04T04:27:50","date_gmt":"2010-01-04T12:27:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/2010\/01\/87\/"},"modified":"2010-01-04T04:31:08","modified_gmt":"2010-01-04T12:31:08","slug":"87","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/2010\/01\/87\/","title":{"rendered":"Question & Answer with Carlos"},"content":{"rendered":"

QUESTION:<\/strong><\/p>\n

I was interested in finding a girlfriend when I turned 18 last year November. I have made a few mistakes where i was rejected and I did not know why. I did some research and read many books but am still unsuccessful. This is really messing up my self esteem.<\/p>\n

I am very good looking. Not that I’m bragging, but I am told this by many of my sister’s friends who are 26 years of age and over.<\/p>\n

To get to the point, I feel that reading these articles makes me feel insecure as if I require help, like a crazy person seeing a psychiatrist. and as a result girls can sense it somehow.\u00a0<\/p>\n

How many mistakes do I have to make (roughly) until I get a girl?\u00a0<\/p>\n

Thanks,<\/p>\n

\u00a0D<\/p>\n

\u00a0—————–<\/p>\n

CARLOS WARNS OF AN IMPENDING SELF-ESTEEM CRASH:<\/strong><\/p>\n

The funny thing is that most guys out there assume that if you’re good looking, you’ve got it made with women. As you can tell, this just isn’t so.<\/p>\n

You’re having some problems, and I’m here to help.\u00a0<\/p>\n

You asked: How many mistakes do you need to make?\u00a0<\/p>\n

Well, the answer is … 43.5.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Okay, maybe it’s 7.\u00a0<\/p>\n

How about 1,346?\u00a0<\/p>\n

Forget the numbers.<\/p>\n

Here’s how you have to look at your situation:\u00a0<\/p>\n

QUESTION<\/strong>: How many mistakes do you need to make?\u00a0<\/p>\n

ANSWER: AS MANY AS IT TAKES.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n

You can’t quantify the game of attraction. I can’t distill it into an easy prescription that I can write and tell you that if you make exactly X<\/strong> number of dates, you’ll get 1 girlfriend.\u00a0<\/p>\n

It may take 1 mistake. It might take 500 mistakes. (It will take a LOT<\/strong> less if you study my e-books and these articles, I’ll tell you that right now.)\u00a0<\/p>\n

WHO CARES<\/strong> how many it takes?\u00a0<\/p>\n

All that REALLY<\/strong> matters is that you MAKE<\/strong> those mistakes and get them out of the way now, so that you can get to that warm, happy place we all want to get to a lot faster. That’s the place where you understand how to interact with women to spark their romantic interest.\u00a0<\/p>\n

All that REALLY<\/strong> matters is the kind of MAN<\/strong> you become in the process!\u00a0<\/p>\n

That warm, happy place that I speak of is called SUCCESS<\/strong>, my brothers. And there’s no feeling like it in the world.\u00a0<\/p>\n

If I told you it takes a THOUSAND<\/strong> mistakes, would that be more than you could handle? Would you give up? Run off and cry, maybe just forget about it and live alone for the rest of your life?\u00a0<\/p>\n

NO<\/strong>. An Alpha Man would NEVER<\/strong> give up until he figured it out.\u00a0 Never!<\/p>\n

\u00a0Remember the motto from the movie “Apollo 13”: ‘Failure is NOT<\/strong> an option!’\u00a0<\/p>\n

You seem to be shocked by the fact that women can sense your insecure mindset. Of course they can sense your feelings. Most guys understand how refined and heightened a woman’s radar is to guys who are insecure and lack confidence.\u00a0 It’s her “wimp” detector, and it serves her well.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Women grew up interacting in very complex and intricate social situations with their other girlfriends, all while you were sitting home playing Nintendo, or sneaking peeks at your daddy’s Penthouse magazines. This refined “intuition” is how she keeps from getting hooked up with the real losers out there.\u00a0<\/p>\n

What you’re doing, though, is making the wrong assumption from these other articles you’re reading. You assume that if there’s something you don’t know about yet, or a skill you don’t have yet, that means that you have a reason to feel inadequate. You’re reading things that point out what you need to work on, and you’re only looking at the negative side. You’re getting down on yourself as a result.\u00a0<\/p>\n

EVERYONE<\/strong> has areas to improve in. No one is perfect.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Should you be depressed to find out you’ve got more work to do?\u00a0<\/p>\n

NO!<\/strong> You should feel INVIGORATED<\/strong>. Energized! More work to do means you’ve still got more life to live. That’s something to be EXCITED<\/strong> about, not insecure. However, you are the only one who can choose that interpretation.<\/p>\n

So put away your hanky and stop crying. Get busy!\u00a0<\/p>\n

I’m going to write you a very strong prescription, Mr. Good-Looking-Guy-Without-a-Woman.\u00a0<\/p>\n

FIRST:<\/strong> You need to stop looking at this all as work, and relax. I can tell from your letter that you’re taking the dating game too seriously. You’re discouraged, and that alone is something that women can smell on you like bad sushi.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Chill out.\u00a0<\/p>\n

SECOND:<\/strong> Get to work on increasing your Alpha behaviors and vibe. You want to come across as a dominant man, not a guy who’s insecure and incompetent.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I created my programs to help guys who are WAY<\/strong> too into the “I need to get a woman” part of the game and not enough into the “I need to get a life” part of the game.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Having a woman will never fulfill you if you aren’t a whole man in the first place. You’ll just fall into more and more self-defeating beliefs and behaviors. Work on your own self-development with audio programs and enriching literature.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Stop slipping down the hill of insecurity! Dig in and get some traction.\u00a0<\/p>\n

THIRD:<\/strong> You need to make a COMMITMENT<\/strong> to yourself to learn this game by going out and playing it. Sometimes you’ll win, sometimes you’ll learn something. (Notice I didn’t say “lose.”)\u00a0 Make mistakes; it’s the only way to win in the end.<\/p>\n

I got a letter once from one of my students, and it might be the most brilliant thing I’ve read all year. It said: “I don’t learn as much about myself, how to manage my emotions, how to interact with people, and how to bounce back from failure as I do when I crash and burn and fail.”\u00a0<\/p>\n

Read that again about twenty times until it makes sense.<\/p>\n

Read it until you GET IT<\/strong>.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Until you slap your head and realize this Truth: It’s not how many mistakes you make. It’s how many times you make a mistake and KEEP ON TRYING<\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

QUESTION:<\/p>\n

I was interested in finding a girlfriend when I turned 18 last year November. I have made a few mistakes where i was rejected and I did not know why. I did some research and read many books but am still unsuccessful. This is really messing up my self esteem<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,9],"tags":[142],"class_list":["post-87","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-alpha-lifestyle-coaching-content","category-qa","tag-qa"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/87","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=87"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/87\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=87"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=87"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-seduction-techniques\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=87"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}