Some tips on Approaching Women
Another guest article today from Josh on:
This is easily the biggest concern of guys. First things first: you are the man. It is in your genes, and it is your role to make the approach.
Somewhere I heard the saying that women treat men like fruit on a tree. They will let you rot on the vine before giving you the push. If she is forced to make you more of a man, then you are not man enough for her.
This is imperative. It is your duty. You must make the first move. When men approach women correctly, the feeling they get is intense due to the ‘manliness’ you are presenting. It is actually refreshing to them.
A common mistake many men commit when approaching women is that the guys sell themselves short while putting too much value on the women. When this happens, women are repulsed because the manliness is just a puddle on the floor. After all, the two of you just met. She doesn’t know you – and more importantly, you don’t know her.
So how can a guy correct this mistake of placing too much emphasis on the interaction? Create more interactions. The notion of the approach implies that no interactions outside of meeting women occur. When I’m talking to as many people as possible at any event/location/etc the emphasis of each dramatically decreases and coincidentally women are approaching me. It’s like giving away a product or service to gain sales. Counterintuitive, right?
When I am out, I don’t think to myself, “Ohh, I’m going to go approach this girl”. Since I share my happy-go-lucky self to many people, I am merely continuing being myself to a girl but it is just a girl that I am interested in. But let’s say that a particular day or time of day I’m not being uber social, and THAT girl appears. Only then does it become a cold approach.
When I do make a truly cold approach, the first thing I do is smile. Smiling will do so much for the approach. It is an outwardly display of your attitude, which is carefree and fun.
How many times have you seen someone who would be much more attractive if they were just smiling? I see this ALL the time. Make yourself smile as often as possible
You should be smiling when you are walking up to the woman of interest because you are excited to meet her. To help out the situation, tell yourself that no matter what happens, this will be fun. This leads into another affirmation that is so helpful. When you are walking up to her, tell yourself that you are making her day. You are not thinking of anything except “I’m about to make her day and this will be fun”.
Whatever comes out of the interaction is of no importance; that is in the future and doesn’t matter.
What matters is what is happening right now in this very moment. As soon as you think about two minutes into the future, you are missing what is happening in front of your face.
Envision the interaction going well. See it; hear it; feel it.
Another affirmation-type game to play to ease the emphasis is this: If you’re attracted to her then she’s attracted to you. So next time you talk to that cute girl, you are smiling because you are a happy person because you are going to make her day and you know that she is going enjoy meeting a manly guy.
You just made her day because now she gets to tell her friends that she met a man, not a boy.
CARLOS XUMA COMMENTS:
I would only add that when you approach a woman smiling, don’t make it a goofball kind of smile. You don’t want to look simple minded. You just want to look happy in your space.
Stay present and focused on THE PRESENT. Too many guys go back up into their head and ruin the vibe as they start sorting through their mental files for the Next Cool Routine.
F*** that! Just talk about the present moment in a way that GROUNDS her and you’ll have 10 times more charisma.