{"id":713,"date":"2014-06-09T15:07:59","date_gmt":"2014-06-09T15:07:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/?p=713"},"modified":"2014-06-25T16:00:54","modified_gmt":"2014-06-25T16:00:54","slug":"how-to-handle-your-breakup-like-a-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/confidence-with-women\/how-to-handle-your-breakup-like-a-man\/","title":{"rendered":"How to handle your breakup – like a man"},"content":{"rendered":"

Breakups are the hardest thing to experience, no matter who initiated it \u2013 you or her. \u00a0It can – and will – turn your world upside down, triggered by fear, longing and sadness.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll lose your motivation and excitement for a time. You\u2019ll lose the drive and passion to be positive. All because you feel that intense emotional pain of loss and rejection\u2026<\/p>\n

Neuroimaging studies have found that being rejected, even by a stranger, activates many of the same regions in the brain as when experiencing physical pain.<\/p>\n

As human beings, we are extremely sensitive to rejection — especially forms of social rejection. We have a strong motivation to seek approval and acceptance.<\/p>\n

So, why does breaking up hurt so much?<\/p>\n

Think back to how you got together. Those wonderful moments of loving each other and enjoying each other\u2019s company?<\/p>\n

You\u2019re together almost everyday, dependent and conscious of each other\u2019s needs. You\u2019re addicted to love and the benefits of having a stable partner\u2026<\/p>\n

\"BreakingUp6\"<\/a><\/p>\n

When that all disappears, you feel lost because you actually lost something.<\/p>\n

All of a sudden, there\u2019s a huge shift\u2026An enormous change.<\/p>\n

In an instant, from \u201cwe\u201d, it became \u201cI\u201d. You no longer have someone to be with. Now you\u2019re all attending events on your own and facing the future alone.<\/p>\n

This makes you incapable of doing your daily tasks that were never a problem in the past. Astudy conducted by Stony Brook University found out that the situation is indeed worse.<\/p>\n

They compared the brains of people in love and those who\u2019d recently lost it with the brains of drug addicts. And here\u2019s what they found out:<\/p>\n

“This brain imaging study of individuals who were still ‘in love’ with their rejecter supplies further evidence that the passion of ‘romantic love’ is a goal-oriented motivation state rather than a specific emotion<\/em><\/p>\n

The researchers concluded, noting that brain imaging showed some similarities between romantic rejection and cocaine craving. The findings are consistent with the hypothesis that romantic love is a specific form of addiction.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"men-Depression-and-Stress\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The study also helps to explain “why feelings and behaviors related to romantic rejection are difficult to control” and why extreme behaviors associated with romantic rejection such as stalking, homicide, suicide, and clinical depression occur in cultures all over the world, the researchers wrote.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

For a man who\u2019s wired from the beginning to show little emotion because it\u2019s perceived as \u201cun-manly,\u201d this will be a much more challenging process.<\/p>\n

So, how can you handle your breakup like a man?Here\u2019s a few important tips:<\/span><\/p>\n

Stay Busy!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Go to the gym. Go out with your friends. Have a project. Anything that you can do to occupy your time.<\/p>\n

So, you don\u2019t have any idle time\u2026 the time to think and over-analyze things \u2013 and wallow in self-pity.<\/p>\n

Think of what you\u2019ve been wanting to accomplish and maybe couldn\u2019t do when you were in a relationship. Now you can just do it! It could be mountain climbing, doing volunteer work\u2026 or traveling.<\/p>\n

This is the perfect opportunity to explore. Remember, you\u2019re FREE! You can do just about anything you want. And you don\u2019t want to rush into another relationship right now anyway. It\u2019s the perfect time to restore your sense of self.<\/p>\n

Have a support group<\/strong><\/p>\n

Accept that you\u2019re feeling low. That\u2019s normal. You\u2019ve loved – and now that love is gone. It\u2019s perfectly natural that you\u2019ll feel unhappy and gloomy.<\/p>\n

If you feel a low mood coming on, get something organized to avoid dwelling. Set up a family get-together, or go to the shooting range with your friends.<\/p>\n

\"images\"<\/a><\/p>\n

This will help you stay clear out of negativity. And your family and close friends are the ideal companion for you right now \u2013 who knows you better than them?<\/p>\n

And, no matter what you do, they won\u2019t judge you. They\u2019ll be understanding and give you unconditional love \u2013 which is what you need the MOST right now. (If they are the judging types, well, maybe choose the cousins or other relatives you know are more open-hearted.)<\/p>\n

Stay away from your EX<\/strong><\/p>\n

It won\u2019t help the healing process if you keep on going to places where you\u2019ll bump with your Ex. In fact, it will likely raise some ugly emotions that will set you back.<\/p>\n

Stay away from those places. Focus on you right now. Build your feelings of independence and value back up.<\/p>\n

Remove all traces of your Ex from your apartment or house \u2013 photos, gifts, clothes\u2026 Yes, this means you also have to refrain from stalking her, checking her Facebook page every ten minutes, or asking her friends what she\u2019s been doing.<\/p>\n

Avoid her, so you can take all the time you need to get back on your feet.<\/p>\n

Remember what they say \u2013 This too shall pass.<\/p>\n

Nothing lasts forever, including the feelings of loss. Things will get better \u2013 and sooner than you think if you help and motivate yourself.<\/p>\n

\"AlphaAttraction-160x600\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Yes, it can take some work – and even some self-discipline to avoid falling into unhealthy patterns.<\/p>\n

Have patience. Have faith.<\/p>\n

Remind yourself that you are an Alpha Man \u2013 a calm, confident guy any woman would want to be with.<\/p>\n

Stay Alpha,<\/p>\n

– Carlos Xuma<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Breakups are the hardest thing to experience, no matter who initiated it \u2013 you or her. \u00a0It can – and will – turn your world upside down, triggered by fear, longing and sadness. 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