\u201cCall me an a-hole?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cLaugh in my face for trying to talk to her?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cHow\u00a0do I\u00a0break past\u00a0her\u00a0bitch shields and let her know what an awesome guy\u00a0I am?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n We\u2019ve all been down that road,\u00a0and it doesn\u2019t always end well.<\/em><\/p>\n However, it’s totally real\u00a0to\u00a0get a girl to like you\u00a0with\u00a0the sheer power of your conversational skills.<\/p>\n Here are 5 Tips you can put to use right away for starting a conversation – and keeping it going:<\/p>\n #1:\u00a0Understand\u00a0The ‘Ugly Truth’ About Talking to Women<\/strong><\/p>\n Guys who get\u00a0chewed up and spit out\u00a0are oblivious to\u00a0the factors involved with meeting and talking to women.<\/p>\n First off, it\u2019s not your fault for being scared – because\u00a0your brain is playing tricks\u00a0on you.\u00a0In the early years of human civilization,\u00a0approaching a woman could literally mean\u00a0death\u00a0if she happens to be\u00a0in alliance\u00a0with the local Alpha\u00a0Male.\u00a0Walking up to Ms. Bookworm isn\u2019t going to\u00a0get you killed,\u00a0but\u00a0the caveman part of your brain is \u201cprotecting\u201d you from the\u00a0worst-case scenario. In this case, it\u2019s rejection and ridicule.<\/p>\n You also need to internalize\u00a0another little-known truth before even walking up to women. Even though you\u00a0selected her\u00a0because of her looks, she can\u2019t know that\u00a0(not right away at least).<\/p>\n Fact is, women can \u201csmell\u201d\u00a0this\u00a0a mile away. Once she picks up on your needy vibe, it\u2019s game over.<\/p>\n I understand how that can screw with your head. You might say, \u201cWell, I’m trying to start a conversation with a total stranger – so yeah, she probably knows I\u2019m attracted to her!\u201d\u00a0I get that.\u00a0As guys, it\u2019s in our DNA to seek out a mate we find the most attractive.\u00a0But remember, this is a game. And playing your cards right means downplaying that you\u2019re into her.<\/p>\n Being too obvious INSTANTLY puts you at a disadvantage.\u00a0If she gets\u00a0the impression that you want something from her,\u00a0it\u00a0tells her\u00a0you\u2019re a guy with low social value.\u00a0What\u2019s more, she\u2019ll be turned off\u00a0by\u00a0the expectation you\u2019ve placed on her\u00a0by having an agenda.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve talked to my female friends about this. One of them told me, \u201cWomen get harassed on the street, subway and a lot of other public places. A LOT. I\u2019d turn down a guy if I get a whiff of predatory behavior\u2026 which I\u2019ve done more times than I care to count.\u201d<\/p>\n Another friend told me, \u201cMaybe not all guys are perverts, but I\u2019ve had my share of \u2018nice\u2019 guys who expect me to fall for them just for being nice\u2026I end up tuning them out for being boring. ‘Nice guys’ end up turning out to be a more subtle form of ‘jerk.’\u201d<\/p>\n So\u00a0it boils down to this: if we have\u00a0an\u00a0imaginary fear of getting\u00a0hurt, women have to\u00a0protect themselves from\u00a0real-life creeps.<\/p>\n #2:\u00a0Slip\u00a0Past Her Creep Radar<\/strong><\/p>\n That means she shouldn\u2019t see you coming. But that\u2019s\u00a0not the same as sneaking up on her,\u00a0though.<\/p>\n (We\u2019ve\u00a0just established women don\u2019t like stalker-ish behavior, remember?)<\/p>\n The most casual way to introduce yourself then, is by NOT HOVERING.\u00a0Don\u2019t pace around, debating\u00a0you\u00a0should or shouldn\u2019t make\u00a0your\u00a0move.\u00a0Hesitation\u00a0makes you\u00a0look nervous\u00a0and weak (read: low value), as if you\u2019re doing something ‘wrong.’\u00a0By the time you go in, you\u2019ve already ruined it\u00a0because you\u2019ve given away your intentions\u00a0(and\u00a0your\u00a0leverage in the game).<\/p>\n Before you get to that point, you need to decide on how to approach her. Have a good idea of what to say so it\u2019ll look casual when you\u00a0do\u00a0get in her field of vision.<\/p>\n Here are some basic guidelines:<\/p>\n – Act\u00a0like you\u2019re\u00a0just\u00a0about to leave. The sense of urgency means she won\u2019t have to wonder when you\u2019ll get lost.<\/p>\n – Adopt a posture that looks\u00a0like you\u2019re\u00a0headed for the door.\u00a0Then\u00a0say something like, \u201cHey, I was heading out, but I just noticed\u2026\u201d or \u201cSorry to bug you, but\u2026\u201d\u00a0When you\u2019re aware that you\u2019re snapping\u00a0her\u00a0out of\u00a0herpersonal bubble, it will make her less likely to shut you down.<\/p>\n – If that\u2019s not possible, make it seem you were walking by when you just happened to see her. Again, avoid the appearance of premeditation.<\/p>\n – Maybe you\u2019re walking next to her along a busy street.\u00a0Stay in the same direction, move a few paces ahead of her,\u00a0then look behind and start talking.\u00a0Let her catch up to you\u00a0and continue the conversation.<\/p>\n – Refer to the first guideline if she\u2019s sitting (like Ms. Bookworm). But\u00a0don\u2019tlook like a schmuck\u00a0by\u00a0standing\u00a0there\u00a0for too long.\u00a0While you\u2019re talking, get a nearby chair so you don\u2019t break up the flow.<\/p>\n – Staying upbeat is key \u2013 you\u2019ll want to be enthusiastic enough to keep her engaged, but not so much that you\u2019ll\u00a0look nervous and\u00a0scare her off.\u00a0The secret is balance.<\/p>\n #3: \u201cThat\u2019s great, but what the hell do I say?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n As long as she wants you to stay,\u00a0it doesn\u2019t really matter<\/em>. \u00a0(shhh!)<\/p>\n A good place to start is to watch how stand-up comedians perform.\u00a0When guys\u00a0like Hannibal Buress, Russell Peters or Chris Rock\u00a0work a crowd,\u00a0the same stories and routines\u00a0tend to\u00a0come up. Even if we’ve heard them, it doesn’t matter.<\/p>\n In the same way,\u00a0think of a funny or interesting story about something that happened to you or someone you know. Don\u2019t\u00a0come off like you\u2019re trying too hard to look cool\u00a0\u2013 imply that in the story instead. Just bear in mind that\u00a0is only meant to get things started \u2013 like a pilot flame, if you will. To keep the spark going, you\u2019ll eventually have to\u00a0improvise by introducing other topics.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re worried about going blank, read up on current\u00a0events, celebrity news\u00a0and\u00a0other trending topics.\u00a0Or maybe you\u2019re into\u00a0a\u00a0certain\u00a0type\u00a0(e.g.\u00a0geeky,\u00a0artistic, sporty, etc.) so do a little homework\u00a0and\u00a0have something\u00a0relevant\u00a0to talk about.<\/p>\n Imagine how mind-blowing it would be for\u00a0a girl to meet someone who actually cares about her personality instead of hearing\u00a0\u201cWow, you\u2019re so beautiful\u201d for the billionth time.<\/p>\n Also, use the environment to your advantage. You can make a funny observation about the guy who brought his whole desktop computer to the coffee shop, or the obnoxious dude at the subway singing the “Frozen” soundtrack\u00a0with his headphones on.<\/p>\n Anything that taps into her emotional network will do the job nicely. Feelings are a powerful tool to get her invested.<\/p>\n Oh, and try\u00a0commenting\u00a0on\u00a0what she\u2019s wearing. Asking her where she got that Incubus shirt could be the start of a stimulating conversation\u00a0(\u201cI\u2019ve been looking for\u00a0that\u00a0shirt for ages\u2026 I’m so crushed!\u201d).<\/p>\n Whatever you talk about, it\u2019s vital that you plant seeds in the conversation by introducing a handful of topics. Let them grow, and you\u2019ll be able to bounce\u00a0between them\u00a0if you hit a dead end.<\/p>\n If\u00a0you can keep\u00a0the conversation interesting,\u00a0it\u00a0means\u00a0you\u2019re\u00a0<\/em>interesting.<\/p>\n Also,\u00a0take note\u00a0of your body language and how your voice sounds.\u00a0Observe\u00a0the energetic way\u00a0motivational speakers\u00a0deliver their words.<\/p>\n All of these\u00a0project a larger-than-life personality:<\/p>\n – Good vocal quality with an energetic tone is attractive \u2013\u00a0ask help\u00a0from someone who specializes in public speaking.<\/p>\n – Don\u2019t\u00a0blurt out all the words in one breath; that indicates nervousness.\u00a0Force yourself to slow down.<\/p>\n – Use large, sweeping motions\u00a0while talking. You\u2019ll sound more intelligent and look like you\u2019ve got your act together.<\/p>\n – Don\u2019t lean into another woman\u2019s personal space \u2013 it gives away your leverage.\u00a0Stay upright\u00a0and let her pull into\u00a0your<\/em>\u00a0space.<\/p>\n![\"images\"](\"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/images.jpg\")
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