{"id":81,"date":"2012-04-19T08:35:11","date_gmt":"2012-04-19T08:35:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/?p=81"},"modified":"2012-06-01T03:16:15","modified_gmt":"2012-06-01T03:16:15","slug":"compliment-vs-sexually-communicate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\/","title":{"rendered":"Compliment vs. Sexually communicate"},"content":{"rendered":"
Hey Carlos,<\/div>\n
I have a question that’s really been bugging me, that I just had to get clarification on. I’ve read in your \"\"<\/a>newsletters, and your ‘Get A Girlfriend Fast’ program, that you shouldn’t be complimenting, flattering women because this is \u00a0one of the main things that men do that immediately that kills attractions, and signals that you are “needy” and looking to get something from her. I understand where you’re coming from, but also as a recovering nice guy, wouldn’t say that the majority of us suppress our sexual attraction with women by not expressing it verbally.<\/div>\n
So my question, is not expressing your sexual interest when you first meet \u00a0running the risk of being thought of as a ‘friend’ because you didn’t make your intentions known\/clear from the beginning ? The ‘average’ guy, even the ‘bad boys’ \/ ‘jerks’ put it out there that they are sexually interested, even if it runs the risk of her putting her ‘guards’ up, so are you saying the aspiring to be ‘Alpha’ Man should do the opposite?<\/div>\n
Thanks again,<\/div>\n
– Michael<\/div>\n

______________________<\/p>\n

CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:<\/p>\n

Hey, Mike, great question.<\/p>\n

A lot of guys confuse these two issues, so let me explain:<\/p>\n

Complimenting women is not the same as COMMUNICATING SEXUAL INTEREST.<\/p>\n

What most guys are trying to accomplish with complimenting a woman is blinding her with flattery. Or seeking her interest BASED ON HIS LEVEL OF INTEREST.<\/p>\n

Let me ask you something: if woman comes up to you and starts complimenting you, will you suddenly start feeling attracted to her \u2013 if you didn’t already find her attractive?<\/p>\n

No.<\/p>\n

But it’s funny that many guys think that expressing how he thinks “she’s beautiful”and “her eyes are so pretty” \u2013 if he just tells her this, he’s expressing his interest. But it’s not the same.<\/p>\n

Sexual communication (which I’m covering in my new program coming out soon) is about the subtle<\/em> cues you give off WHILE<\/strong> you’re communicating with women. It’s not about compliments.<\/p>\n

Compliments are the cheap starchy filler that most guys have been programmed to use to seek a woman’s interest. It’s a shortcut they take because they don’t have better information. Compliments are a “cheat code” we men use because it’s quick and easy to do. But chances are you’re not the first (or the last) guy to compliment her like that, so you just don’t stand out at all.<\/p>\n

Don’t get me wrong here \u2013 complimenting is not ALL<\/strong> bad.<\/p>\n

What most guys screw up is the INTENTION<\/strong> that it comes from. It’s usually not sincere.<\/p>\n

You want to compliment? Go ahead and compliment her on her CHOICES<\/strong> \u2013 not her genetic luck to be born cute. She didn’t have to do anything for that.<\/p>\n

But if you compliment her on some bit of clothing or item she’s wearing that really does stand out \u2013 well then go ahead. Maybe.<\/p>\n

But if you’re feeling this need inside you compelling you to tell her your feelings (a very dangerous and slippery slope) because you really want her to like you, then you’re not coming from sincere intentions. You’re coming from the “nice guy” syndrome.<\/p>\n

If you want to know how to get rid of the Nice Guy<\/strong> and start getting laid (instead of making a new female “friend”), I suggest you look at this:<\/p>\n

No More Mr. Nice Guy \u2013 Be The Man Women Want<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hey Carlos, I have a question that’s really been bugging me, that I just had to get clarification on. I’ve read in your newsletters, and your ‘Get A Girlfriend Fast’ program, that you shouldn’t...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-81","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-how-to-approach-women-meet-women"],"yoast_head":"\nCompliment vs. Sexually communicate - Carlos Xuma's How To Attract Women Secrets<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Compliment vs. Sexually communicate - Carlos Xuma's How To Attract Women Secrets\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hey Carlos, I have a question that’s really been bugging me, that I just had to get clarification on. I’ve read in your newsletters, and your ‘Get A Girlfriend Fast’ program, that you shouldn’t...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Carlos Xuma's How To Attract Women Secrets\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-04-19T08:35:11+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-06-01T03:16:15+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/Picture14-e1338520523416.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Carlos Xuma\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Carlos Xuma\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\\\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\\\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Carlos Xuma\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7ee32ab33e6e8e4522ca1e1adcc8038d\"},\"headline\":\"Compliment vs. Sexually communicate\",\"datePublished\":\"2012-04-19T08:35:11+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-06-01T03:16:15+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\\\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":563,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\\\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2012\\\/04\\\/Picture14-e1338520523416.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"How To Approach Women & Meet Women\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\\\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\\\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\\\/\",\"name\":\"Compliment vs. Sexually communicate - Carlos Xuma's How To Attract Women Secrets\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\\\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\\\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2012\\\/04\\\/Picture14-e1338520523416.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2012-04-19T08:35:11+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-06-01T03:16:15+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7ee32ab33e6e8e4522ca1e1adcc8038d\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\\\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\\\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\\\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2012\\\/04\\\/Picture14-e1338520523416.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2012\\\/04\\\/Picture14-e1338520523416.jpg\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\\\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Compliment vs. Sexually communicate\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/\",\"name\":\"Carlos Xuma's How To Attract Women Secrets\",\"description\":\"The Secrets of Attracting Women\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7ee32ab33e6e8e4522ca1e1adcc8038d\",\"name\":\"Carlos Xuma\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/d0dd62a91a2f2095d97e4ec26a98b05cd6bbf1f112856285c236ce9306d9eafc?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/d0dd62a91a2f2095d97e4ec26a98b05cd6bbf1f112856285c236ce9306d9eafc?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/d0dd62a91a2f2095d97e4ec26a98b05cd6bbf1f112856285c236ce9306d9eafc?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Carlos Xuma\"},\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.carlosxuma.com\\\/newsstand\\\/author\\\/carlosxuma\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Compliment vs. Sexually communicate - Carlos Xuma's How To Attract Women Secrets","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Compliment vs. Sexually communicate - Carlos Xuma's How To Attract Women Secrets","og_description":"Hey Carlos, I have a question that’s really been bugging me, that I just had to get clarification on. I’ve read in your newsletters, and your ‘Get A Girlfriend Fast’ program, that you shouldn’t...","og_url":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\/","og_site_name":"Carlos Xuma's How To Attract Women Secrets","article_published_time":"2012-04-19T08:35:11+00:00","article_modified_time":"2012-06-01T03:16:15+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/Picture14-e1338520523416.jpg","type":"","width":"","height":""}],"author":"Carlos Xuma","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Carlos Xuma","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\/"},"author":{"name":"Carlos Xuma","@id":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/#\/schema\/person\/7ee32ab33e6e8e4522ca1e1adcc8038d"},"headline":"Compliment vs. Sexually communicate","datePublished":"2012-04-19T08:35:11+00:00","dateModified":"2012-06-01T03:16:15+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\/"},"wordCount":563,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/Picture14-e1338520523416.jpg","articleSection":["How To Approach Women & Meet Women"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\/","url":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\/","name":"Compliment vs. Sexually communicate - Carlos Xuma's How To Attract Women Secrets","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/Picture14-e1338520523416.jpg","datePublished":"2012-04-19T08:35:11+00:00","dateModified":"2012-06-01T03:16:15+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/#\/schema\/person\/7ee32ab33e6e8e4522ca1e1adcc8038d"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\/#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/Picture14-e1338520523416.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/Picture14-e1338520523416.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-approach-women-meet-women\/compliment-vs-sexually-communicate\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Compliment vs. Sexually communicate"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/","name":"Carlos Xuma's How To Attract Women Secrets","description":"The Secrets of Attracting Women","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/#\/schema\/person\/7ee32ab33e6e8e4522ca1e1adcc8038d","name":"Carlos Xuma","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d0dd62a91a2f2095d97e4ec26a98b05cd6bbf1f112856285c236ce9306d9eafc?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d0dd62a91a2f2095d97e4ec26a98b05cd6bbf1f112856285c236ce9306d9eafc?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d0dd62a91a2f2095d97e4ec26a98b05cd6bbf1f112856285c236ce9306d9eafc?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Carlos Xuma"},"url":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/author\/carlosxuma\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=81"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":168,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81\/revisions\/168"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=81"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=81"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=81"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}