{"id":862,"date":"2015-02-16T17:05:30","date_gmt":"2015-02-16T17:05:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/?p=862"},"modified":"2015-02-16T17:06:54","modified_gmt":"2015-02-16T17:06:54","slug":"4-ways-youre-sabotaging-your-date-and-dont-even-know-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-attract-women\/4-ways-youre-sabotaging-your-date-and-dont-even-know-it\/","title":{"rendered":"4 ways you\u2019re sabotaging your date \u2013 and don\u2019t even know It"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>We\u2019ve all been there before:<\/p>\n<h4>Just when you think you\u2019re about to lock down that incredibly cute, too-good-to-be-real girl you\u2019re dating, she suddenly goes cold.<\/h4>\n<p>Without warning, she makes up a half-hearted excuse on the fly about having a full schedule the next day, then leaves you high and dry.<\/p>\n<p>So now you\u2019re feeling defeated and confused, not knowing where it all went to hell.<\/p>\n<p>Well, let\u2019s sift through the wreckage, shall we? Sometimes, it helps to retrace your steps to find out exactly why she didn\u2019t fall for your manly charms.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>#1: You Suck at Logistics<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Women like men who are in control, so guys who have all the bases covered send an important message that can make or break that first impression.<\/p>\n<p>And that message is, <em>\u201cI\u2019m a guy who won\u2019t screw things up when it\u2019s crunch time.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>This all-important social signal will flip that switch in her brain that will make her want to sleep with you \u2013 so make sure you have everything planned out before going into execution mode.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.attractwomen.com\/alphasexualpower\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-1393 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-tips-for-guys-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/save-a-first-date-gone-wrong-680451497-may-19-2012-600x373-300x186.jpg\" alt=\"save-a-first-date-gone-wrong-680451497-may-19-2012-600x373\" width=\"300\" height=\"186\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h4>Here are some details to watch out for:<\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h5>Did you put enough effort into your appearance?<\/h5>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Looks are something you\u2019re born with, but you need to have your style and hygiene under control. Iron out these details before game time so you don\u2019t focus your energy on worrying about how you smell or if your shirt looks ok.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h5>Speaking of which, get your buddies to chime in.<\/h5>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>They\u2019ll let you know if you need to ditch your outfit or tweak a few details. At the same time, they can give you a heads-up about that cool bar that just opened up \u2013 or that place that gave them food poisoning last week.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h5><strong>Find out what she likes beforehand<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>So you won\u2019t take her somewhere that will clash with her food preferences (although if she\u2019s WAY too picky, that might be a sign of trouble down the road \u2013 just saying).<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h5>Don\u2019t let the unexpected derail your plans.<\/h5>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Have that proverbial ace up your sleeve in case a wild card comes along. Also, don\u2019t have a hissy fit if something slips through the cracks. Remember, she wants a man in control \u2013 not a man-child with a tantrum.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>#2: You\u2019re Too Intense<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>An Alpha Male knows how to pace himself. He doesn\u2019t crank up his seduction game too quickly; building comfort is a gradual process.<\/p>\n<p>In this day and age where it\u2019s easy for women to screen out guys at the first sign of trouble, putting her at ease is one of your top priorities.<\/p>\n<h4>Keep these points in mind to set the pace just right:<\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h5>For first dates, avoid anything she might deem \u201ctoo heavy\u201d.<\/h5>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Save the fancy dinner for when you know each other better \u2013 opt for fun and casual venues, such as a bar or coffee place that\u2019s accessible for you both. Eventually, you can up the ante after she\u2019s \u201cearned\u201d your affections.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h5>Don\u2019t talk to her about depressing crap.<\/h5>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>You\u2019re better off having those conversations much further down the road, like when you\u2019re already an exclusive couple.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h5>So for now, don\u2019t kill the fun vibe by rehashing your painful, scarred past.<\/h5>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Resist the urge to fill her in on your last breakup or the time when that girl in your fifth grade class mocked your love poem in front of everyone.<\/p>\n<p><strong>#3: You\u2019re a Sweating, Stuttering, Nervous Wreck<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Hey, look \u2013 I know what it\u2019s like to have your ego on the chopping block. A guy once told me, \u201cI feel like a gladiator with my fate resting on her giving me the thumbs-up or thumbs-down.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ve all put ourselves on the line out there. However, having a little perspective will keep you from giving in to the false belief that you\u2019ve got \u201ceverything riding on this one.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I can dig that it\u2019s not easy getting those apocalyptic scenarios out of your head. Still, you need a way to deal with those thoughts so you don\u2019t choke mid-game.<\/p>\n<h4>Take these guidelines to heart:<\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li>Have some topics ready to go before the big date.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Think of conversational bits related to your interests so you don\u2019t feel that you\u2019re in over your head. Plus, giving your lady a chance to shine in your element will help impress her.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>But play it cool at the same time though.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Don\u2019t rattle off an encyclopedia of knowledge like you were on Jeopardy!, lest you become that insufferable \u201cWell, actually\u2026\u201d guy.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Your date isn\u2019t a one-sided affair.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Ask her about stuff she likes, what she does, and what she\u2019s passionate about. Use her input to breathe life into the conversation so you it\u2019s not all on you.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Remind yourself that the mind loves to take your worst fears and amplify them to ridiculous proportions.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>When you get those end-of-the world thoughts, remember that your anxiety is not an accurate reflection of reality.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>With that, don\u2019t get bent out of shape when you say the \u201cwrong\u201d thing or if you think that you messed up.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Brush it off, say something along the lines of \u201cWhoops\u201d or \u201cWell, that was awkward\u201d and power through without missing a beat. Besides, what is she gonna do, hang you for treason because you weren\u2019t perfect during the entire date?<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Be yourself .<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Don\u2019t try to project a bizarre, stilted version of your personality that doesn\u2019t represent the great guy that you are.<\/p>\n<p><strong>#4: You Live In a Crack Den<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Or the set of \u2018The Walking Dead\u2019. Or Jessie Pinkman\u2019s place from \u2018Breaking Bad\u2019.<\/p>\n<p>You get the point. I can\u2019t tell you how many guys I know who blew their end game simply because they didn\u2019t take the time to make their crib presentable before heading out.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve heard enough stories of how their date took one look, then bolted out of there like the place was on fire.<\/p>\n<p>Remember the movie \u2018The 40-Year-Old-Virgin\u2019?<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s this hilarious bit where Seth Rogen\u2019s character Cal tells his friend, Andy (played by Steve Carell) about how unattractive his place was. And he was spot-on:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong><em>\u201cI mean, look at this place, man. You gotta see this through the eyes of a woman, you know? What is she going to think when she comes in here? Look. He&#8217;s got a billion toys.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Ok, technically Andy\u2019s place was clean, but nevertheless it was overrun with so many action figures and other geeky stuff that his apartment gave off a repulsive, un-sexy vibe.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.attractwomen.com\/alphasexualpower\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-1337 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/dating-tips-for-guys-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/aspnew-300x250.jpg\" alt=\"aspnew-300x250\" width=\"300\" height=\"250\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>And it\u2019s not that I\u2019m knocking guys who are into that, but you should save one specific spot for that kind of stuff (read: NOT in the bedroom). Balance it with some sensible internal d\u00e9cor that makes your date think: \u201cWow, this place looks so comfy\u2026I\u2019m probably gonna sleep with this guy.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So set fire to those tacky posters masquerading as art (or least sell them at your next garage sale), hide your skin mags and break out that hip coffee table with some issues of GQ, Esquire and Wired (or anything with some substance) to add that subtle touch of sophistication.<\/p>\n<p>While you\u2019re at it, clear out those empty pizza boxes and take-out containers, hire an exterminator and keep your place immaculate enough to let your date know you\u2019re a grown-up.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019ve been guilty of any of these things, don\u2019t sweat it. We all make mistakes, but it\u2019s not an excuse NOT to learn from them.<\/p>\n<p>By the way, there is one other fatal mistake you need to avoid. Don\u2019t let the threat of T-Bleed cripple your chances with women \u2013 permanently.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s a phenomenon that causes men to lose their testosterone until they\u2019re practically drained of their \u201cmojo\u201d, and it\u2019s not a pretty sight.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.attractwomen.com\/alphasexualpower\/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>But you can stop it before you have to plug any \u201choles\u201d \u2013 CLICK HERE to learn how to prevent it from happening to you.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Stay Alpha,<\/p>\n<p><strong>&#8211; Carlos Xuma<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We\u2019ve all been there before: Just when you think you\u2019re about to lock down that incredibly cute, too-good-to-be-real girl you\u2019re dating, she suddenly goes cold. Without warning, she makes up a half-hearted excuse on&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":864,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-862","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-how-to-attract-women"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>4 ways you\u2019re sabotaging your date \u2013 and don\u2019t even know It - Carlos Xuma&#039;s How To Attract Women Secrets<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-attract-women\/4-ways-youre-sabotaging-your-date-and-dont-even-know-it\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"4 ways you\u2019re sabotaging your date \u2013 and don\u2019t even know It - Carlos Xuma&#039;s How To Attract Women Secrets\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We\u2019ve all been there before: Just when you think you\u2019re about to lock down that incredibly cute, too-good-to-be-real girl you\u2019re dating, she suddenly goes cold. 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