{"id":885,"date":"2015-02-17T16:44:55","date_gmt":"2015-02-17T16:44:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/?p=885"},"modified":"2015-02-17T16:46:11","modified_gmt":"2015-02-17T16:46:11","slug":"find-the-perfect-woman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-attract-women\/find-the-perfect-woman\/","title":{"rendered":"Find the Perfect Woman"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you\u2019re like most guys, you probably want to find that ONE cool girl to have a long-term relationship with. Contrary to what you might see in the media, a lot of men aren\u2019t actually into the \u201cplayer\u201d lifestyle, i.e. sleeping with multiple women at a time. You\u2019d like to have that ABILITY, but the actual lifestyle is not your goal.<\/p>\n

After hundreds of seminars and coaching calls, guys are interested in seducing that sexy, loyal and fun lady that they can then turn into a GIRLFRIEND.<\/p>\n

But for most guys, going from casual to hot and heavy is a complete mystery.<\/h4>\n

They think that closing the deal with a woman – especially if you don\u2019t know her that well \u2013 is as likely as winning the lottery. And that means that when they do get a woman in their bed, they\u2019re likely to settle on her as being the best they could get.<\/p>\n

They either lower their standards, or they create a sub-standard relationship that is less than their ideal vision of what could have been.<\/p>\n

Well, guess what – I know plenty of average dudes who\u2019ve hit it big with hot, brainy women and now enjoy a wonderful relationship.<\/p>\n

And they didn\u2019t have to play the lottery to accomplish it.<\/p>\n

I knew it was possible for these guys because I<\/em> was the one who taught them – and I\u2019m going to show you, too.<\/p>\n

\"131\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Great Conversation: Talking the Talk<\/strong><\/h4>\n

So, what does it take to get a woman hooked on the first date?<\/p>\n

It all boils down to saying the right WORDS with the right FEEL. Once you\u2019ve got this down, everything else will fall into place. It really is that simple.<\/p>\n

Apply the right combination of words, and you\u2019ll unlock that barrier standing between you and her \u2013 and your bedroom.<\/p>\n

1 – Get Her Attention<\/strong><\/h4>\n
So first of all, you\u2019ll need to be an interesting guy to talk to. Ok, I know that sounds a bit nebulous, so let me break that down for you.<\/h5>\n

Keeping your girl enraptured with the conversation is as simple as having enough \u2018stuff\u2019 to talk about.<\/p>\n

Ever notice how things get stale when you let those long, awkward pauses creep in?<\/p>\n

There you are, desperately trying to think of something to say while she\u2019s waiting for you to fill in the silence. It\u2019s not a nice place to be.<\/p>\n

You just need to keep the ball rolling so that she\u2019ll NEVER have time to be bored.<\/h5>\n

A good way to prepare for this is by having a good list of \u201cback pocket\u201d topics to talk about. You can switch between them throughout the night, giving you plenty of room to maneuver and never hit a dead end.<\/p>\n

Back when I was learning this stuff, I had a note on my phone that had a shorthand list of topics to draw from. If my mind ran blank, I pretended to \u201ccheck my texts.\u201d<\/p>\n

Look back to any funny, exciting, or otherwise intense experiences you\u2019ve had before. Similarly, look up current events, weird news, or trivia to draw from. (Do you know \u201cBono\u201d from U2\u2019s real name? I do.) Don\u2019t forget to have a subject you\u2019re really into that you can throw out in a goofy and interesting way (e.g. music, movies, art, quantum mechanics, dental hygiene, etc.).<\/p>\n

This is good material you can use for stories or anecdotes that you can work into the conversation. And quirky = good.<\/p>\n

Of course, you\u2019ll also want to get inspiration from the unexpected stuff that will come up during your date. However, it never hurts to come in prepared with some ready-made stories to use.<\/p>\n

It may sound stilted now, but you\u2019ll thank yourself after jumping into a topic you know when the conversation starts to die or get awkward.<\/p>\n

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2 – Enthusiasm is Key<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Ok, while saying all the right things is important, it\u2019s just as necessary to say them the RIGHT way.<\/p>\n

When salesmen or motivational speakers drive home a point, much of their persuasiveness comes from their delivery. It\u2019s now a clich\u00e9 that over 90% of our meaning in communication comes from everything else BUT the words we\u2019re saying.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s why you need to project an enthusiastic energy when you engage your date in a conversation.<\/h5>\n

Speech trainers are excellent guides to projecting a powerful, deep-from-the-gut voice that\u2019s paced like a professional speaker. Look to them if you have a problem talking too fast or fall into a high-pitched, pinched voice when you\u2019re nervous.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a certain pattern to the way \u201csocially valuable\u201d guys speak. Observe how they do it using their resonance and deep breathing.<\/p>\n

In fact, famous people \u2013 like standup comics and life coaches \u2013 do this all the time. They\u2019ve practiced their stories and conversational bits a hundred times over until they\u2019re totally comfortable in their own skin.<\/p>\n

You can do the same by simply talking to people aside from women. Practice is the name of the game \u2013 think of your conversations with them as a social experiment and take note of the results.<\/p>\n

3- Be Feisty<\/strong><\/h4>\n

You\u2019ve probably heard of that elusive \u201cAlpha-ness\u201d that a lot of men strive for. And that has to do with having a certain kind of fearlessness around women.<\/p>\n

For instance, attractive men are good at being confident enough to poke a little fun at a woman without worrying about her approval. Or he\u2019ll have the guts to disagree with her if he has a difference of opinion.<\/p>\n

A typical \u201cbeta guy\u201d would be too afraid to \u201crock the boat\u201d and stick to being polite, agreeing with everything she says (even when he doesn\u2019t agree) and being the perfect gentleman.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s fine if you want to be just friends, but NOT if you\u2019re in the business of seducing her. Sexual attraction requires stirring up the energy.<\/p>\n

You have to create some healthy sexual tension between you and her to kick start this party.<\/p>\n

If there\u2019s no \u201cthrill of the chase\u201d or a good-natured back-and-forth exchange, it takes the sexual chemistry out of the equation.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be a wimp \u2013 call her out if she\u2019s being cheeky or is having a little fun at your expense. If she says something you don\u2019t necessarily agree with, speak your mind and push back on it a little.<\/h5>\n

You know how you and your buddies bust each other\u2019s chops? It\u2019s sort of the same thing, minus the dirty jokes, swearing, and bathroom humor.<\/p>\n

A little tact never killed a guy. Think of it as shifting from \u201cRated R\u201d to \u201cPG-13.\u201d<\/p>\n

Just a little caveat though \u2013 for the time being, lay off anything religious or political if you can. A little ribbing here and there around these subjects could get out of hand pretty quick. Save it for after you\u2019ve been seeing each other for a few months.<\/p>\n

4 – Get Emotional<\/strong><\/h4>\n

No, I don\u2019t mean opening up to her about your rough childhood or how your ex tore out your heart, poured gasoline on it, and then set it on fire with an acetylene torch.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s one aspect of powerful sexual conversation that ties together everything we\u2019ve discussed so far: FEELINGS.<\/h5>\n

Your conversational skills should be directed toward a single purpose, which is to tug at her emotional strings. Everything that comes up in your conversation should make her feel a myriad of emotions, such as fear, shock and excitement.<\/p>\n

Remember the part where we talked about telling stories? Don\u2019t walk her through a dry, boring narrative of events \u2013 that doesn\u2019t do anything to start her lovedrive.<\/p>\n

Instead, your stories should be packed with little tidbits that will set off emotional depth charges in her heart.<\/p>\n

The better you are at using feelings-based details (\u201cIt felt humiliated\u201d, \u201cThat guy wanted to rip my head off\u201d, \u201cThe kids were running around like wild monkeys\u201d), the bigger rush she\u2019ll get from being around you.<\/p>\n

That said, it also helps to talk about the stuff that gets YOU pumped, like your extreme sports hobby or your cool job (add those emotional embellishments, remember).<\/p>\n

All of this makes you a well-rounded guy who lives life to the fullest. More importantly, it creates a sense of excitement for her that she might be a part of it soon.<\/p>\n

5- Pulling In the Home Stretch<\/strong><\/h4>\n

If her brain isn\u2019t swimming in a cocktail of feel-good emotions just yet, there are a couple of other measures you need to take.<\/p>\n

Put her brain in romantic mode by asking her key questions that get her out of her comfort zone. Getting her to think and talk about romance is a sure-fire way to get a rise out of her even more. But you can\u2019t just bust out something like, \u201cSo, when was the last time you made love like a wild ferret?\u201d<\/p>\n

Instead, you\u2019ll have to layer the topic with a little context before pulling out the big guns. To be subtle about it, casually mention something nice that you saw in a movie or heard about from a friend:<\/p>\n