{"id":888,"date":"2015-02-17T16:49:31","date_gmt":"2015-02-17T16:49:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/?p=888"},"modified":"2015-02-17T16:51:20","modified_gmt":"2015-02-17T16:51:20","slug":"how-to-be-yourself-and-still-be-the-most-attractive-guy-in-the-room","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-attract-women\/how-to-be-yourself-and-still-be-the-most-attractive-guy-in-the-room\/","title":{"rendered":"How to be yourself and still be the MOST attractive guy in the room"},"content":{"rendered":"

Have you ever walked up to a woman, feeling unsure of yourself? And when you bombed trying to make conversation, you wanted to find a way to keep that from happening again?<\/p>\n

So maybe you researched online and found a bunch of standard \u201cPickup Artist\u201d material to help you be more attractive to women. And now you\u2019re thinking you can\u2019t go wrong because you\u2019re ready for next time.<\/p>\n

But ask yourself: can you really depend on canned routines and ready-to-go conversational bits to bring out your personality?<\/p>\n

Will you really be that much more interesting to women if you became a bizarre, twisted version of yourself that won\u2019t hold up forever?<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a better way to connect with women while being as genuine as you can be with them. Consider the following:<\/p>\n

Attraction Tip #1: Too Much Prep Work Makes You Stale and Unoriginal<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Here\u2019s one good reason why you should ditch the cookie-cutter pickup lines and other ready-made material: forcing yourself to recite memorized lines will make you sound like a robot.<\/p>\n

The more you repeat the same stuff over and over, the less natural you\u2019ll sound to women. When you know in your heart that you\u2019re spouting the same, tired old routine, it takes the joy out of making conversation with women \u2013 and they\u2019ll catch on to this vibe.<\/p>\n

Also, what happens when you strip mine your treasure trove of material?<\/p>\n

Think of it as a crutch \u2013 those canned routines can only get you so far. Once it\u2019s gone, you\u2019ll need to \u2018walk\u2019 on your own, so you might as well start learning NOW.<\/p>\n

\"man-women-laugh\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Attraction Tip#2: The Natural Alternative – Tell Your Story<\/strong><\/h3>\n

The one thing I\u2019ve noticed among successful comedians is how well they are at sharing their experiences. They\u2019re so good at connecting with audiences because they have that talent for taking them on a journey.<\/p>\n

The newer standup artists understand that they\u2019re not going to get far reciting the same lines night after night, and so they want to sound as natural as possible.<\/p>\n

No longer will you hear them rely on same old, \u201cSo what\u2019s the deal with\u2026?\u201d routine anymore.<\/p>\n

Most of the time, they\u2019ve stopped writing entire jokes in advance to avoid becoming robots as well. They just think of keywords and build their story from there.<\/p>\n

For example one guy used the word \u201cbaseball\u201d, and built his story around that. He went on a funny rant where he was complaining about having to give foul ball to kids if you caught one during the game.<\/p>\n

He went on to say that he should get to keep it. Back in the day, he had to trade elbows with grownups, so his crazy theory was that kids today shouldn\u2019t feel entitled, and so on.<\/p>\n

Of course he was just exaggerating for comedic effect, but the point was that he built a natural-sounding story based on just a concept – not an elaborately structured routine.<\/p>\n

So, that\u2019s really the advantage of storytelling: you can insert some personalized humor about by making a \u201ccrazy\u201d rant that could even be a little politically incorrect or edgy. That gives a girl something to react to later on.<\/p>\n

She might say, \u201cOh, you\u2019re so mean,\u201d with a laugh, which is a good thing. Before you know it, you\u2019ve got that back and forth teasing going on.<\/p>\n

Better yet, that bust-each-other\u2019s-chops vibe will kick in, setting the pace for the rest of the conversation.<\/p>\n

Beautiful, isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

That said, think of general stories you can tell, like some personal views you wanted to share, or funny and\/or scary stuff that you lived through. It makes for a much more natural approach and gets women emotionally invested in the interaction.<\/p>\n

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Attraction Tip #3: Pick Her Brain<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Another way to make her get into the conversation is by asking her stuff about herself. Most of the time, guys are too busy busting out the perfect pick-up line or canned routine that they forget that it\u2019s a two-way street.<\/p>\n

The more you know about her, the easier you can talk about new topics with her later on. That way, you\u2019ll never get stuck at a dead end.<\/h4>\n

However, what you have to watch out for are the yes\/no questions. Once she\u2019s answered them, you\u2019ve got nowhere to go from there.<\/p>\n

The better route to take is by asking her thoughts after you\u2019ve just put in her two cents. Let\u2019s say you\u2019re talking about that time you ran into a crazy homeless guy:<\/p>\n

\u201cSo I gave him some change, and he was go grateful that he wanted to give me his toaster. I was freaked out because he followed me for a couple of blocks with the box in his hand. I was like, \u2018Don\u2019t you need that more than I do?\u2019, but he just kept forcing it on me. He eventually gave up, thank God. Would you have done the same? Or would you have found out if it the toaster worked or not?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

(This really happened to me, by the way.)<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a much better approach than asking stuff like, \u201cSo what kind of TV shows do you watch?\u201d because it will lead you down more interesting roads than a yes\/no question would.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not saying you can\u2019t ask yes\/no queries at all, but just remember that MOST of your questions should accomplish two things:<\/p>\n