{"id":928,"date":"2015-03-13T18:56:35","date_gmt":"2015-03-13T18:56:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/?p=928"},"modified":"2015-03-13T18:56:35","modified_gmt":"2015-03-13T18:56:35","slug":"3-ways-to-recover-when-your-date-goes-to-hell","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-attract-women\/3-ways-to-recover-when-your-date-goes-to-hell\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Ways To Recover When Your Date Goes to Hell"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mike, a client of mine (not his real name), came to me about a problem he had with sealing the deal with the ladyfolk. He\u2019s been dating a few women since he got out of a previous relationship last year, but he\u2019s never made substantial progress with any of them.<\/p>\n

\u201cThings were shaping up with the last girl I saw, but after the third date she suddenly got cold on me. She wouldn\u2019t return my calls after that\u2026\u201d, Mike told me despondently.<\/p>\n

\"o-BAD-DATE-facebook\"<\/a><\/p>\n

He went on: \u201cWe were talking about music and I ended up making fun of hair metal bands from the 80s. It\u2019s not that I hate that kind of music\u2026I was just trying to make a funny quip about how cheesy they look with their hairdos and spandex\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

So his date got upset with that and accused him of being \u201ctoo biased to open his mind to other kinds of music.\u201d Mike got a bit defensive and told her she was \u201cgetting worked up over a stupid joke.\u201d<\/p>\n

He added, \u201cI got so worked up myself that I ended up making fun of her music even more…that probably wasn\u2019t the best move.\u201d<\/p>\n

Needless to say, it put a huge, awkward dent in their evening.<\/p>\n

A Common Pickle Among Men<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Look, this is something ALL guys go through at some point, regardless of their relationship experience. Sometimes, you\u2019ll say or do something that\u2019ll rub your woman the wrong way and create an avalanche of trouble.<\/p>\n

And if you\u2019re in the same boat as Mike, the stakes are even higher. When you\u2019re past the \u201cgetting to you know you\u201d point, but still in \u201clet\u2019s be friends for now\u201d territory, it makes for a sticky situation.<\/p>\n

BOTH of you are at a CRUCIAL time when the mutual attraction is there, but haven\u2019t gone beyond being friends. So any friction at this point could either make or break your relationship-to-be!<\/p>\n

It\u2019s likely a woman will be emotionally invested in you by this time, so she\u2019ll take failed expectations hard \u2013 bear that in mind.<\/h5>\n

The worst thing you could do is dig a deeper hole for yourself by reacting the wrong way like Mike did.<\/p>\n

\"woman-on-bad-date\"<\/a><\/p>\n

That said, take note of the following tips:<\/p>\n

#1: Damage Control 101<\/strong><\/h4>\n

You might be thinking, \u201cDoes that mean I should just shut it and keep my opinion to myself?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hell no. Begging for her approval AFTER the fact is the best way to DESTROY any remaining respect she has for you.<\/p>\n

But you do need to deal with her ruffled feathers, and there is a way to do that without emasculating yourself.<\/p>\n

First off, don\u2019t play the defensive card like Mike (e.g. \u201cBuuuut I was just making a joke\u201d) \u2013 your job right now is to let her do the talking<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Let her blow off some steam and give her the satisfaction of being heard. That alone will take the edge off already.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the deal \u2013 women are generally worried about \u201crocking the boat\u201d at this delicate phase, so it\u2019s not exactly easy for some girls to speak up. Thus, it\u2019s absolutely essential that you acknowledge<\/strong> that.<\/p>\n

Try telling her something like, \u201cHey, I appreciate that you shared that kind of stuff with me.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

You can also add a little dash of empathy as well: \u201cThanks for being honest, I know it\u2019s not easy to be that frank with someone.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\"download\"<\/a><\/p>\n

#2: Clear The Fog<\/strong><\/p>\n

Remember, it\u2019s easy to misinterpret one another when you\u2019re both agitated, so you\u2019ll need to eliminate any possibility of miscommunication<\/em><\/strong>. Otherwise, you\u2019ll never put the issue behind you.<\/p>\n

So make sure you understand the point she\u2019s trying to make (i.e. WHY she\u2019s pissed off). If you\u2019re not on the same page, try telling her, \u201cSo what you\u2019re trying tell me is\u2026\u201d<\/em> or, \u201cLet me see if I got it right\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

But don\u2019t be a smartass and hold the sarcasm. She wants you to validate her feelings, not get into a comeback contest.<\/p>\n

*A Little Side Note<\/strong><\/h3>\n

I know how tempting it is call her out if you feel like she\u2019s making a big deal over nothing.<\/p>\n

But keep the big picture in mind \u2013 is it more important to you to keep dating her and see how it plays out\u2026<\/p>\n

\u2026or would you rather fire back at her now and burn your bridges for good<\/em>?<\/strong><\/p>\n

This could just be a little hiccup that you\u2019ll both laugh about years from now. But you\u2019ll never know if you don\u2019t play it cool for now and work out your disagreement first.<\/p>\n

But if she truly goes BALLISTIC on you for something incredibly petty, you could very well let her have it.<\/p>\n

If you really think her behavior is a dealbreaker – or don\u2019t see it working out – don\u2019t be afraid to speak up.<\/h5>\n

#3: Patch Things Up<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Here\u2019s another tip: if you truly did mess up and make her feel bad, don\u2019t be hard on yourself. Accept that sometimes, we step on other people without meaning to.<\/p>\n

However, you\u2019ll still need to APOLOGIZE to show her that you\u2019re owning up to your little slip-up. But you don\u2019t have to go on about it and look like a wimp in the process.<\/p>\n

Make it short and sweet by saying, \u201cI\u2019m sorry for stepping on your boundaries. I didn\u2019t know that it would offend you, but I get it now.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Lucky for Mike, his date called him back after a week. He scaled things back a bit by casually meeting up at a coffee shop (good move!) to hash out their last date.<\/p>\n

\"aspnew-300x250\"<\/a><\/p>\n

After applying my advice, Mike found out that her parents were huge fans of 80s rock, hence her soft spot for that kind of music. When Mike showed that he understood her reasons for getting upset, she felt that he actually cared about what she thinks and feels<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

One of the most important traits of an Alpha Male is knowing how to pick your battles<\/em><\/strong>. Temper your strength with restraint \u2013 it\u2019s all about BALANCE.<\/p>\n

If you need a little guidance on how to harness your FULL masculine potential, my practical guide called Alpha Sexual Power can help you with that. Get it NOW by clicking HERE.<\/p>\n

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Stay Alpha…<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
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– Carlos Xuma<\/strong><\/div>\n
______<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mike, a client of mine (not his real name), came to me about a problem he had with sealing the deal with the ladyfolk. He\u2019s been dating a few women since he got out...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,3,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-928","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-confidence-with-women","category-how-to-attract-women","category-miscellaneous-dating-tips-for-guys"],"yoast_head":"\n3 Ways To Recover When Your Date Goes to Hell - Carlos Xuma's How To Attract Women Secrets<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.carlosxuma.com\/newsstand\/how-to-attract-women\/3-ways-to-recover-when-your-date-goes-to-hell\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"3 Ways To Recover When Your Date Goes to Hell - Carlos Xuma's How To Attract Women Secrets\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Mike, a client of mine (not his real name), came to me about a problem he had with sealing the deal with the ladyfolk. 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