Why Guys In San Francisco Aren’t Getting Laid

Yup, apparently now the guys here need tips on how to properly apply their makeup.

Now this image is of Jared Leto, and they talk about his application of … choke … gag … “guy liner.”

(Sorry, give me a second here while I throw up a little in my mouth.)

The article goes on to say:

“Makeup for men is here: Marc Jacobs, Benefit and most recently Tom Ford have all released products specifically designed with male grooming needs in mind focusing mainly on bronzers, concealer and brow gels. For even fashion-conscious men, makeup is something of a foreign, maybe even forbidden, world.”

Look, I realize it’s supposed to be cool to be “confident” enough to do this sort of thing. It’s supposed to be “progressive…”

Maybe a little “avante garde.”

Weeellllllllll….

NO.

It’s just plain wussy.

Sorry, boys, but the reason that Jared Leto gets laid wearing that effeminate wussy crap is because he’s ALREADY FAMOUS AND GETTING LAID!

That probably means you’re probably also wondering (as my friend David D. used to say) why there’s a curious dry sensation in your groin.

Look, guys… don’t look at these “trends” as something that will help you get the women you want.

This is distracting crap that the media *thinks* is entertaining enough to pull your eyeballs for a few minutes. Hey, that’s great. Be entertained.

But also – BE SMART!

Or as one of my mentors says: Be smarter than they think you are…

Get back to being a MAN. That’s what women want, and have always wanted. (Don’t listen to their words, watch their actions!)

And if I see you at the cosmetics counter at Macy’s I’m going to go ballistic…