Mix her into your life…

Hey, it’s Carlos here…

I had some thoughts this morning that I wanted to share with you…

You know, a lot of guys are ashamed (secretly) of their own lives. It’s not overt, but it’s there. And it causes incredible problems with their ability to build attraction and confidence socially.

Ask yourself these questions:

• Have you ever felt like you couldn’t share a part of your life with a woman because she would think you were weird?
• Have you ever thought of yourself as “geeky” or “nerdy”?
• Have you ever felt like there was ‘nothing special’ about your life that a woman would be interested in?

Well, let me tell you a couple things:

1) Feel a little weird?

Everyone has a part of their lives that they think of as kind of “strange” or “weird.”
EVERYONE. Which means this is an excellent place to create rapport and deep bonding.

Just find a way to talk about the weird things in your life (showing her that you recognize that it’s a little weird), and then get her to confess to her weirdness.

This works like you wouldn’t believe.

YOU: “So I have to admit, I was once on the honor roll at school. But I wore a leather jacket, so my friends never gave me a hard time. What’s something that no one knows about your high school days?”
HER: “Well, I’ll make a confession. I used to skip my last class every few days so I could get a ride home where my girlfriends and I would watch our soap operas.”

A little cross-disclosure like this will create a feeling of strong rapport.

2) You’re a little geeky?

Let me tell you, everyone has a geeky interest of some kind.

You want to know mine?

How about: Star Trek, fantasy role playing games (only on my Sony PSP), and astrophysics. I also get a little wood when I see pictures taken from the surface of other planets.

Dorky? You bet.

But let me tell you this: Every girl has a geeky interest that SHE would be embarrassed to talk about, but once you get it out of her, she’s clay in your hands. She won’t be able to resist you because you’ll have gotten past her icy persona that was created to keep the weak men away.

I’ve been able to convert several girlfriends over to Star Trek – The Next Generation simply by explaining that it’s a soap opera in space. Conflict, romance, and the occasional tentacled Centaurian. The second I reframe it like this, it spikes their curiosity.

3) Nothing special about you?

Everyone has an interesting life. You just find your own life a little dull because you’ve been living with it your WHOLE LIFE. Spend 20 or 30 years in the same mind and body and it all seems so dull after a while.

But I guarantee you that if you spent a few moments thinking back on your life, you’d come up with some great stuff. All you need is a short anecdote about your childhood (how you got in trouble usually makes a very cool story) and you’re on your way.

(I also cover other ways of developing cool life stories in the Alpha Man program.)

All of your fears are COMPLETELY NORMAL. But we’re afraid to expose them because it would make us VULNERABLE.

Let me tell you something else:

Vulnerability is VERY cool.

You see, a lot of the “hardcore” pickup guys might tell you that you need to be super dominant, show her high social proof and strength. They’re right … to a degree.

But the one thing a woman recognizes up front is that only the strong man can be vulnerable.

It’s a little dilemma of logic that you don’t need to worry about. All you have to do is WORK it.

How do you use this knowledge to your advantage?

Next time you’re out and talking to women – and while you’re in the process of building attraction through my strategies – take a second to tell her something about your past that is a little (and I mean just a LITTLE) funny and embarrassing.

This will show that you don’t take yourself too seriously, and it will show her that your ego (the big killer of relationships for guys) isn’t going to run amok.

For example, I like to work with the obvious: I’m thin.

Athletic and strong, but thin.

So I will tell a woman: “You know when I was a kid, I was really skinny. My mom used to say that I had to run around in the shower to get wet.”

Or: “My mom used to tell me I was so skinny, if I turned sideways, I’d disappear.”

It’s cute and it’s a little self-deprecating (not self-insulting, and never put yourself down to get pity.)

You see how this works?

Your limitations are almost ALWAYS a key to stronger game with women.

I can guarantee you that there’s nothing about you (including disabilities and physical limitations) that someone else hasn’t turned into something positive for their game with women.

NOTHING.

Nada.

In fact, thinking that you have limitations is really a cop-out. Because while you’re curled up on the couch with a box of tissue and crying about the fact that you can’t attract women because you’re …

• … too fat
• … too thing
• … too poor
• … too old

WHATEVER…

While you’re focused on that crap, you’re really just giving yourself an excuse to NOT TAKE ACTION.

It’s always easier to give up than put your energy into winning.