Q & A with Carlos: How To Handle Wowen Who Test You
QUESTION FROM A READER:
What should I do now? You know I’ve been ‘cocky and funny’ with girls, but some of them imitate this trait and after awhile you both are in challenge!
I don’t know what to do with these tough girls. How can I overcome and take her to bed. It seems to be a challenge going nowhere.
Regards
F.P., Montclaire
______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:
Have you ever had this happen to YOU?
You’ve been reading your daily dose of dating advice on the Internet that tells you to be “cocky” and “funny” with a woman, and then you go out and USE that clever line on a woman… and something unexpected happens.
For example, she asks you “So what do you do for a living?”
And you say, “I’m an ass model for Calvin Klein underwear… But don’t let me see you checking out my butt – off limits, honey…”
And instead of the hysterical laughter you thought you’d get, she gives you a “huh?” expression, like she’s thinking, “Oh, is that so?”
And then she says, “Well, ass model, I guess you’re not finding a lot of work with that, huh? That’s okay, you can get cheaper drinks around the corner at the dive bar.”
And then you feel humbled, but you stick in the game with her…
“Yeah, well… uh, haha… Yeah, ever since I got my butt implants taken out, I’ve had to settle for being Brad Pitt’s ass stand in. You probably saw me in ‘Legends of the Butt.'”
She says, “You sure that wasn’t Anthony Hopkins’ butt? Probably closer to it…”
Then you start feeling a bit warm under the collar, and you wonder if your face is starting to turn red. Did someone just turn up the heat in here?
Yeah.
SHE did.
You know why she’s challenging you and being cocky and funny right back like this?
Let me tell you…
(Oh, and this is something that maybe one guy in a HUNDRED even knows.)
Look, I’ll be the first guy to tell you that I’ve used that ‘cocky & funny’ routine a hundred times with women. Sometimes it works like a champ, and it’s a SWEET technique to use.
But it’s ultimately just another smoke screen that women see as “oh, no… here’s another one of those pickup guys again…”
Stay with me here…
The reason a woman challenges you like this is because she doesn’t buy your “I’m cocky and I’m a confident guy” routine.
She sees right through it and knows it’s an ACT.
Sometimes she’ll be difficult like this just to play along and have fun with you, but more often than not, she’s really flaunting it in your face that she thinks you’re just putting her on.
And she knows that if she just pushes it long enough, you’ll cave in and start to crumble like a wet taco.
And that is when the sexual tension completely evaporates. You got into a battle of escalation with her, and you couldn’t stay in the game.
I got into one of these with a SMOKING hot blonde at a Christmas party about 3 years ago. I have to give this woman credit – she was sharper than average, which I’m sure has led her to believe that she could out-game any guy out there she needed to.
Just a few years earlier, I would have been all jello with her and not had the slightest clue that I needed to keep the teasing up. Luckily I had been working on my inner game and I stayed right in there with her.
(I’m going to reveal what I said that got her to wave the white flag and surrender in just a second…)
Hot women toy with guys like this, not because they’re mean spirited and want to stomp your ego into the gutter.
It’s sport. Pure and simple.
The reality is that it’s survival of the fittest out there, and she’s got to know you’re fit. ANY guy can memorize a few clever one-liners, but she knows that if she keeps playing with you, she’ll know what you’re worth.
The sad fact is that she’s not laughing nearly as much WITH you as she is laughing AT you.
Especially when she sees that she’s starting to win.
So you want to know what my all-purpose killer line that got that blonde to finally cave?
I said this:
“You know, this banter is pretty fun… Still, I’m wondering if you’re just another one of those California blonde girls – or if you’ve got something else going on in there. I suspect you do… I’d like to know what it is.”
BOOM.
Her expression changed in a heartbeat.
And it wasn’t because of the words I said (*though, you’re welcome to use them.)
It was because I said it with such a heartfelt sincerity that she could tell that I WANTED to care about her, but I needed her help in seeing why I should.
From that moment on, she became putty in my hands. I’d flipped the tables on her and put her on the stage to qualify herself to ME.
If I’d just kept up the witty banter thing, that would have gotten old. And eventually – even if I was the one with the stronger reality – she would have just felt like I was in competition with her.
Instead, I dropped the ping-pong match of “who can be funnier and wittier” and got her to get REAL with me. Drop her mask.
Be vulnerable.
The effect this has on women, by the way, is DEVASTATING…
Remember, the reality for an Alpha Man is that he’s never dealing with a “tough girl.” If she’s tough, it’s because she’s putting on a front or a pretense.
I did the same thing with a woman in Vegas when I held my Alpha Immersion Seminar.
We were in the Hard Rock at the bar, and I saw this Latin woman with a gold necklace with a pendant shaped like a gun. I saw that and I knew it was “Game on!”
I went over and said hello, and then I asked her why she wore that necklace. She said it was because she hung out with some tough guys. (The guys she was with were wusses, I could see that.)
I told her this was an act. She wasn’t tough. Underneath this ‘tough girl’ exterior, she was just another woman who needed the love of a good man.
Another of her guy friends (probably the one buying her drinks in the hopes that she will start liking him eventually) chimed in with, “No, man, she is a tough girl. You don’t know her.”
But I did, you see.
I know ALL women just by virtue of knowing how they think, and what they want. And having that understanding and certainty gives you MASSIVE confidence to talk to any woman.
All you have to do is break them down past their silly defense mechanisms and you get down to their soft centers. Yup, just like M&Ms.
Now get out there and start meeting women.
Not tomorrow, or next week…
Right NOW.
To learn more about the rules of handling women – the confident ALPHA way – go get my free ebook of “Dating Tips for Guys”
Stay Alpha!
– Carlos Xuma
