Get In Her Bed With The Sin Drivers
The most important part of your success with women has nothing to do with women, oddly enough. Men come to me for techniques and tactics for attracting women, but what most often happens is that they realize they need to take control of their inner game and confidence first. When they do that, their whole lives open up in ways they only dreamed of.
In order to succeed with women, you have to understand the power of what I call the Sin Drivers. This is part of the core of Inner Game – the mental confidence of dealing with women.
If you know the 7 “deadly” sins, you’re probably already familiar with these, but allow me to add some new depth to how you understand them.
Manipulation can get you anywhere if done right. But no one likes the thought of manipulation. Instead we must focus on influence. Influencing others, as well as ourselves, to attain win-win outcomes.
But what are the key factors or emotions that most people are influenced by? Of all the different kinds of influence in what we want the other person to do, you can see how communication is a very hazy and nebulous area. It requires – no, it demands that you study it in detail.
If you know how to leverage the Sin Drivers, you can influence yourself and others for very positive outcomes.
First of all, the biggest manipulator of all is FEAR, whether it’s a fear of loss, a fear of reprisal, a fear of consequences, or whatever the case may be, fear is the big motivator. We all feel fear very distinctly, and it’s one of the most powerful emotions next to shame.
Fear is a very common inhibitor, because we all fall victim to it very easily. Some of us are even afraid of feeling the fear, which can lead to more trouble. You resist and avoid situations where you might succeed because they also represent a threat of feeling that fear.
Think about the fear you feel when you approach a woman. Or the fear you feel when you feel her slipping away from you in a conversation. Each of those fears controls us in subtle ways. And, as the saying goes, Fear is simply False Evidence Appearing Real.
Understanding and controlling your fear is the first step on the path to success with women.
Here’s something you can use. It’s the Fear Litany. The Litany Against Fear was an incantation used in the book Dune by Frank Herbert. The incantation helped focus minds in times of peril.
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing……Only I will remain.”
Powerful stuff. I recommend you put that on a card and carry it in your wallet. Use it the next time your fear tries to shut you down.
GREED is the manipulation of our desire to possess, typically done with money. We all have a natural inclination to acquire things, to get possessions, and that’s all natural. It’s part of our human nature to want more of everything.
But, as Gordon Gecko said in the movie “Wall Street,” Greed can be good. Greed for the good things in life, like love, achievement, and knowledge can be a force for good and uplift all people. Greed gets us off our butts (and our “buts”) and motivates us.
We just have to keep our greed in check and make sure it does not run our lives.
Then there’s my favorite – LUST. That’s right, our natural desire for the opposite sex. Hey, we all experience this one from time to time, and it’s one that we all fall victim to much of the time, and the media again knows it.
Advertising and Marketing agencies uses lust a lot to manipulate buyers. You see them on billboards, magazine ads and TV commercials. Lust is men’s favorite manipulator.
The one thing you need to watch out for is when greed and lust combine forces. This can be a deadly combination.
Channel your lust into forward movement. It’s a powerful force that no man can completely resist – not even monks.
Think of all the great accomplishments men have made throughout history. Some say they were all just redirecting the sexual energy into conquering, or building … or even destroying. Don’t underestimate the power of the human sexual force.
VANITY. Everybody likes to look good and appear attractive. If men buy for lust, women buy for vanity. Vanity and an appeal to looking better for other people is frequently used, again, as another type of social game.
Women want to be noticed and appreciated. Perhaps the worst thing a woman can feel is ignored and unremarkable to others – especially men.
When you give her that attention, you feed her vanity. And like any of these Sin Drivers, it can be a force for good – if you channel it for her.
Don’t overdo it. Find different things about her to recognize and bring to her attention. Do it with compassion, and you’ll get much further than with guile or with pure lust. Flattery is transparent, but sincerity is a game-changer when you use it effectively with women.
PRIDE or that willingness to be admired. We like to protect our ego and we sure do like it when other people admire us. Men thrive on that admiration.
This is another key driver for you that you need to notice in your conversations with women. Your pride in accomplishment will lead you to brag to her about your achievements, usually in the hopes that she will be impressed and this will create attraction.
Usually, it won’t. Attraction is a function of your status and personal power as a man, but not when you communicate it directly. It would be far better for a friend of yours to recognize you when you’re talking to her and point out something positive about you in front of her than it ever would be for you to tell her yourself.
Simply showing that you have an influence on your tribe (your group of friends) is incredibly powerful in creating real primal attraction.
So beware the temptation to self-promote. Instead, let her discover your best traits by accident. Indirectly.
Women distrust your words, and rightfully so. As the saying goes in fiction: Show, don’t tell.
ENVY, this one is the other side of pride. This is where we see another person’s accomplishments and we want to be just like them. We’re envious of their accomplishments, the things they’ve got, the people they are around, and we want to be just like them, or at least experience the same things that they’ve experience or have the same things that they have.
Envy is very often one of the least effective of the Sin Drivers and one of the more motivating. Because the reality is that you can accomplish things that other people have accomplished, and you can have the things that they have. You can accomplish almost anything, once you put your mind to it.
So don’t be manipulated purely from the envy part of it just wanting what they’ve got. Remember that it has to be backed up with real desire and a willingness to take action on it.
Envy of other guys is often our downfall, and we have to remember that the things they have that we want also come with a bunch of things they have that we do NOT want.
GUILT. People love to use this one to manipulate us and play games with us, making us feel guilty about just about anything. And it’s what your parents love to use on you. You’ll see this even with the smallest social games, like when you’re interacting.
Most of the time people project their own flaws onto you to keep you on the defense. That’s probably the most common form of social game. Stamp “Return to Sender” on that gift, and hand them back their big fat package of guilt.
It’s not that you shouldn’t feel some accountability to other people. We evolved as groups that had to be accountable to each other, after all.
But when your behavior is guided out of fear of what others might say or think, then you will find yourself constrained to a very limited definition of life.
Don’t be the geezer in the old folk’s home in the future, whining about all the stuff he wished he’d done in life. You have the opportunity now to break the hold of this insidious force and live your life the way you desire.
Guilt is one of the most useless and needlessly restrictive forces in the universe. And, like all of these Sin Drivers and emotions, only exists in your head – not in the real world.
Consider that the next time you run into your own reluctance or feelings of “I shouldn’t…”
It’s far better to regret the things you DID do than the things you didn’t do.
Then the last Sin Driver: LAZINESS.
Geez, aren’t we all lazy to some degree? That’s why technology has developed a lot of gadgets that makes out life easy. We all want the easy, quick fix, don’t we?
It’s that easy. It’s that quick, and that is what we all fall victim to. We all want the quick and easy. We don’t want to take risks. We don’t want to have to spend. We don’t want to have to put in the effort into it. We want it to just fall on our laps.
I remember searching the house for the remote control for 45 minutes when I could have just walked over and pressed the volume button on my flat screen TV. It’s often been said that we will go through any amount of effort to be lazy and do nothing.
Laziness is natural, but don’t let it rule your life.
Now, remember, people will play games to appeal to your sense of laziness. If there’s anything you genuinely want, be willing to back it up with enough effort to actually make it happen, not just stay a dream.
Don’t be the man in front of the fireplace who says: “First you give me heat, THEN I’ll give you wood.” Life doesn’t work that way except for the quitters and criminals out there. Pay the price for what you want in this world, and it will be yours.
Surprisingly, it doesn’t take much effort at all to triple or even quadruple your success with women. You only need to know the secrets I show men for short cutting past all the nonsense and getting right to the victory in life. Constructive laziness is when you stop doing all the hard work that is taking you in the wrong direction.
The worst kind of laziness is continuing to fail just because you’re afraid of getting the help you need to do it right.
These emotional factors – the Sin Drivers I’ve just explained – will be a big factor in most of the social games you get into, with women and men. And they will also create some of your knee-jerk responses. Recognize them upfront and learn to manage and control them – so that they don’t control you.
If you’d like more secret tips and tactics to get the women you desire – CLICK HERE…