How To Handle Your Temper
I am 62 and have been working on myself pretty intensely for the last 26 years.
I now feel more strong, powerful and masculine than I have ever felt in my entire life …….. and I LOVE it.
I am more confident motivated and driven than ever.
HOWEVER, I have angrily blown up at least 6 times in the last month (that I can think of), and I feel as if I don’t get this handled it is going to destroy my life.
All my life I have suppressed my anger and all that leads to is depression. I feel I need more than talk therapy. I need some way of releasing the anger in a healthy way as opposed to blowing up or suppressing it.
Is this something you can help me with?
I’ll confess that we’re probably bridging outside of both my expertise and the scope of the academy on this one. 🙂 Though, I do know what you’re talking about.
Angry outbursts are simply par for the course of being a man. But it cannot continue to the detriment of your relationships, etc. Sometimes this is a natural by product of reconnecting with your masculinity.
I definitely don’t believe in suppression. The answer is in REDIRECTION. Take the same energy and channel it – like letting off the proverbial steam.
My initial suggestion is pretty simple: Martial Arts training. Or even boxing or kickboxing classes.
Let the steam out through physical exertion. You’re never too old to do that. (Of course, please consult a physician to get clearance.)
Having a channel to divert your “explosive” energy through is always a good idea. As is practicing some cognitive therapy tools that help you “talk yourself down” from those moments.
The old “count to ten” trick is actually very sound. As is removing yourself from the situation when you feel the temper beginning to peak.
Try those to begin with, but please heed my first recommendation. A man who isn’t venting his physical energy through some kind of exercise is going to find that it haunts him in other ways.