Dating Tips For Guys

Carlos – you’re a Top Man for finding your true life’s vocation. And what an admirable one it is.

Ok, here goes – I want to talk about emotions, particularly anger, and root it in the previous line I took (above), namely how to control time. I’ve listened to Carlos’ audio sessions talking about anger, and it’s completely right. I also noticed that you’ve quoted “The 48 Laws of Power” as one of your sources, and the key point made right throughout that book is how vital it is that we control our emotions.

This last month, firstly, I’ve had success on the women front with some more lined up. Not a bad session (Wink) However, more poignantly, I’ve been exhausted almost to the point of a crash. There’s a lot of stuff going on right throughout my personal life, family issues and people that needed dealing with. And it’s fair to say that I’ve let rip at a few of them who’ve had it coming for a long time.

There’s also my divorce of last year that still niggles away. There’s my film script that I’ve spent five solid years writing, which is about 95% ready, requiring some more work which I have to find the energy for, probably taking me up to Christmas. And then, of course, there’s the day job in sales, which is going through its seasonal downs. All in all, a lot I’ve had to manage – and I think I deserve a medal!

Coming back to the ‘letting rip at people’ point. Now I don’t regret any of it. Like I said, they really did have it coming, and I’m happy to play judge, jury and executioner here.

But, again, this last month I’ve been execeptionally exhausted. I put it down to several things: i) the energy expended letting rip; ii) the loss of emotional control, to a certain extent; iii) the amount of energy needed generally to maintain my all-round goals; iv) and your Alpha Man program.

Now I’m not blaming you. What I’m saying on this last point, and a point you state quite early in your literature, is how close many of us have been all these years to getting things right, but that some important pieces of our game were either missing or just not executed properly. That realisation is a tough one, though an honest one. I thank you for it, even though it’s taken a lot from me to get to this understanding.

So my particular questions are: Can you give any further insights to this? How, in your opinion, does controlling the emotions help you slow down and gain time?

And how do I rebuild my energy levels, only from now on controlling myself so as to maintain a consistent level of energy and application to all that I do?

Thanks.

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CARLOS:

I think the important distinction here is that it all starts with an AWARENESS of your emotions first. Then you can start to take more conscious CONTROL.

But control does not mean suppressing. It means steering and guiding, the way you control a car in motion.

Emotion (ironically, most of the word is “motion”) is something that is, by its nature, moving. You can’t stop an emotion, only tie a kite string to it and guide it as best you can.

What I did initially was contain my emotional states so that I could get a better grip on my experience and feel like I had a “ground state” that I could base my understanding on.

But that ended up numbing me.

So I let go of that illusory ‘control’ and decided that it’s more about learning to steer the vehicle where I wanted it to go.

A plane is off course 90% of the flight. It’s only through minor readjustments that we are able to get from point A to point B.

You never hear the pilot get on the intercom and say, “Folks, I know you were all hoping to land in Miami today, but due to the fickle winds, we’ll be going to Wheeling, West Virginia instead. Hope that’s not too much of a bother.”