Today we’ve got a special article – a guest post from my good friend Spike. Take it away, man…
The concept of “Kai Zen” is based on a Japanese philosophy of constant and never ending improvement, always learning and striving to be better. Broken down, Kai Zen literally means “constant improvement.” This is a very powerful yet simple strategy that has led the Japanese to be titans of industry and a major world power for centuries.
Well, there was that one time they went too far, but we won’t talk about that.
The idea of being a better you, in the world of business, is not new. There is an entire multi-billion dollar industry based on teaching that very thing. Many of you have spent massive amounts of money going to seminars, workshops, joining clubs, or simply reading books on the subject. A MAN is judged by his business prowess after all.
But do not make the mistake of thinking that business success equals self improvement.
The sad truth is that most of you men will go balls out in your quest for business superiority, yet woefully neglect the very foundation for that success, your inner being. I know, because I have been there, done that, and, no I did not get no stinkin’ T-shirt! I got a divorce, a bankruptcy, lost my home, family, friends, and 3 great dogs in the process (the hardest part, trust me).
I was one of those guys heading off to business success seminars around the world. I focused my attention on how to build my empire by trying to do things better than everyone else. Whatever steps the “guru’s” told me to do, I tried. I had success for a time with most of their teachings.
There is a ton of very solid education out there, to be sure. But it’s not worth a dime, if you are not solid enough inside to execute it consistently
You give yourself a false sense of security if you only focus on making your business success your main goal. You think you are doing everything right and blossoming as an individual because your business is going well.
You may not realize that you are neglecting the very reasons you are striving so hard- your wife, your kids, etc. And if you do feel something is wrong, you tend to work harder.
We men fix things after all, right?
So maybe you get more business success books, go to more seminars, thinking that it’s a money issue (because it usually is) and you can fix it, if you just push through. But that takes you away from the real issue. The structure upon which all your success is built is failing
You cannot build your foundation on pillars of sand.
We hear about it every day, somewhere there is a wealthy, successful couple breaking up and/or losing it all. They seem to have everything this world could offer, yet somehow they just can’t make it work.
What the Hell is happening?
You have to wonder, if they have all those resources and can’t make it work; what chance do ordinary guys like you have? Did you know that the “1 Percent” fluctuates every year?
Some people gain wealth and some people lose it. It’s fluid
. I posit that it is not what they have that is the problem, it is what they DON’T have that is the issue
. And what they don’t have is something that you CAN
have, and it doesn’t take great wealth
. In fact, it can cost nothing at all. It comes through the journey of constant and never ending improvement
. Kai Zen.
We as men are providers, that is our function. We are engineered that way from the start. While we are “courting,” we are one way- romantic, sweet, thoughtful, etc. That never has to change (and shouldn’t), but it usually does. We don’t mean to do it, but we naturally transition from seeker to provider.
We have won the girl, so now we must take care of her, right? That is what MEN do after all. Now we start to walk the tight rope. Our lady is used to a certain emotional arrangement with us, that’s what she fell in love with. As we sink into our role as provider, we unknowingly let slip the old ways. She feels saddened and a little cheated, even though you may be giving her the house, the cars, and the money. Sure, she has stuff, but she wants YOU.
If you aren’t there anymore, she will find another you that makes her feel the way you used to.
Now that you are aware, how do you keep this from happening? Tune in next time and I will tell you. Till then…
Go On, Be Strong
Spike Spencer, the Dating Sage