5 Steps To Get A Girlfriend
The first time I felt the craving for a girlfriend, I thought there was something wrong with me.
I mean, really. A girlfriend?
I wanted to get laid, sure. But did I have to find a girlfriend to do that?
What about the all-powerful casual hookup?
I did a lot of soul searching and discovered that even though there’s a lot of social pressure on guys to want to get a girlfriend – and that it’s only acceptable to connect a “relationship” with “regular sex…”
Even with all that baggage, I realized I actually did want a girlfriend. A steady.
A chick that would watch movies with me, and play games, and go to parties, and…
Yeah, I know. It sounds nuts sometimes, but the truth is that guys really do want a cool chick to hang out with and do things with.
It’s only natural, and it’s not weird.
But – if you want a girlfriend, chances are you probably know there are a few steps to accomplishing this, right?
It’s not as easy as using some online service to pick her out from a catalog… or swipe her in an app, though.
Let’s face it – the really high quality girls don’t typically use those services. You have to know where to go and how to make her feel gut-level, primal attraction.
So let me hook you up with 5 steps to get a girlfriend – fast!
How to find yourself a girlfriend – Step 1: Know where to go looking
These days, you have plenty of options to find girls. They’re everywhere, after all.
But you’ll be tempted to try and shortcut the process by either doing online dating, or using a smartphone app like Tinder, Blendr or Pure… (And don’t worry, if you don’t recognize some of the ones out there, just wait a few weeks. There will be a hundred more.)
There’s nothing wrong with using online apps or even online dating… but you need to know what you’re getting into.
For many girls, these apps aren’t necessary.
Think about it for a second… if she’s a hot property, does she *need* to be using an app to find guys?
She just goes out and meets guys left and right.
The truth is that the most attractive women you see on the street or in the supermarket or … well, anywhere, really…
THOSE girls are rarely – if ever – hit on by guys.
WAIT… let me clarify, she gets hit on – but it’s all the douchey guys who she isn’t interested in. But the douchebags stack the odds in their favor by simply being the guy who isn’t intimidated by her beauty.
So it’s up to you… If you make a move on one of these girls, you stand a very real chance of getting somewhere if you don’t come across like a pickup artist, or a clueless dope.
Don’t sprinkle: “Yo!” into your conversation like some MTV vidiot.
(Yeah, that’s my term. Vidiot.)
So realize that each place you use to find a girlfriend – whether it’s a bar, club, online, singles event, library, shopping mall, wherever – those places are a reflection of the people that are there in some way.
So realize that sometimes they’re into meeting guys, sometimes not.
Obviously, if it’s an event or location that people typically go to, ask yourself what kind of girl goes there. And also, are you able to use that location to your advantage?
Think about it…
What kind of woman looks for a boyfriend at a club?
What kind of girl will you meet at a seminar on soulmates?
You can meet a girl ANYWHERE you like. It’s one giant buffet… but it requires you to choose and use that location creatively.
Get A Girlfriend – Step 2: Hook her – fast
This is where pickup artists excel, to be quite honest.
There are a lot of legit “pickup artist techniques” I incorporate in my teaching, because … they work.
What makes all the difference in the world is the intent behind each of the methods or “tricks.” If it’s just to manipulate her into bed, that’s just not the right way to do it.
However, if you’ve got a real desire to make it work for both of you – a classic “win win” in my terminology…
…then you can take any technique and make it ethical.
My feeling is that if you’re a good person of character, then you deserve to have the girl you want.
And if you make her life more enjoyable for it, than it’s more of a tragedy to let her go and fall into the arms (and bed) of some player who hurts her.
Which is better for her?
You have to be able to hook her fast, to make sure she doesn’t fall in with one of these bad-boys. It’s the right thing to do.
I don’t have the time or space here to go into great detail on how you do it, but it’s about as simple as this:
1) Get her attention.
You have to wake her up to your presence. She’s gotta know you’re there – and you’re not afraid to let her know.
Whether that’s a conversational opener like: “Hey, I need a woman’s opinion on something…”
…or if it’s just a sincere compliment like: “I just had to let you know that when you walked in, the room lightened up. You have a wonderful energy.”
You have to be brave enough to let her know you’re there.
2) Make her smile
You don’t have to turn into Louis CK or Jerry Seinfeld. Standup ability is NOT required. (In fact, that kinda works against you.)
You just need to let her know that you’re not a super serious dude. Those guys are typically a bit creepy, and no fun.
In fact – the key to it all is being FUN.
Be lighthearted, wear a happy expression (NOT a goofball smile that makes you look…”simple”).
If she responds to you with a smile or even a polite laugh, she’s trying to get you to feel welcome and comfortable.
3) Demonstrate value
She does need to see that you value yourself, and you’re not a wuss – to put it bluntly.
You don’t have to say or prove anything in this direction the first time you talk to her, either. Just the act of talking to her implies confidence and value.
Only men of status and value will do what you’re doing.
You definitely shouldn’t brag, however. That’s a rookie move that will kill your chances.
Yeah, you want to impress her, but you don’t want to do it by making her think you’ve got a wickedly huge ego.
Instead, just tell her you’re impressed with *HER*.
You see, that’s a little psychological trick most guys don’t know about. If you express that you’re impressed with her, it means that you hold enough status and value that you can make that judgment.
And that subtly implies that you’re at least high value enough to see HER value in the first place.
It works like a champ – and it’s a must to use in conversation.
What’s next to win a girlfriend? Step 3: Get the connection
There’s really two parts to this…
The first part is that you have to get her to feel like you’re real and genuine enough that she can be connected to you.
The second part is to get her phone number – or some kind of contact info – so that you can RE-connect with her later.
It’s not hard to do if you’ve managed to keep her engaged in conversation for at least a few minutes.
Use my simple number close here:
“Hey, you know we might want to connect again later. I think I might like talking to you again. Give me your number and we’ll see what happens…”
I like leaving that on a slightly ambiguous note. Mostly because every guy SAYS he’ll call, but rarely does.
If you don’t say you will, she won’t have that jaded fear that you won’t. She’ll fantasize that you probably will.
And it makes it sound like you’re high value enough to not need to lock it down this second.
You might take a bit of convincing, in fact. Which again implies high value.
When you want to find a girlfriend – Step 4: Get the date
Some guys like to try to get a girl on a date right away when he’s first talking to her. I like to lean back and let it feel more natural.
(It’s rare she’s got the time to do anything right at that moment, anyway.)
After you’ve got her number, start a little text flirting.
Then you sneak in a call or two to solidify the connection.
Then you simply come up with a good opportunity to get her out.
Don’t wait too long, because every day after you met her she’s basically forgetting you. You gotta stay relevant.
I’ve even said that to girls:
“Hey, if you don’t meet me for a drink tomorrow night, survey says you’ll probably forget about me. My ego just can’t handle that kind of trauma, so let’s get it together…”
The point is to get her out again with you as soon as possible.
Get a girlfriend – Step 5: Get the NEXT date
First dates are simple, but rarely repeat.
The true measure of your ability is to turn this meet up into ANOTHER one, which establishes that there is attraction, and that there will be even more to come.
If you get to date #3, the odds are with you that this girl could not only become your next girlfriend, she’s very likely to pull you into the sack with her.
And that’s not a bad way to go, if you ask me…
So there you have it – FIVE kick-ass ways to kick-start your mission to find that one special girl to create awesome memories with. Once you start using these basic steps, you’ll be MUCH CLOSER to the Holy Grail of Dating that other guys can only dream about.
But if you want to get there FASTER and avoid those deadly, attraction-killing mistakes along the way, then my advanced program on getting your dream girlfriend is what you need.